Where Did I Go Right?
by Aleka
Summary: ((FINALLY COMPLETE))They all grew up together, but they're only just beginning to meet each other. It's a lot about acceptance and learning how to look past steretypes. (all four guys) Oh, and thanks so much to Britt for beta-reading for me!
1. Fig Newtons

"You drowned him."

Gordie Lachance looked up at Chris Chambers, who was staring, in open-mouthed dismay, at the floundering chocolate chip cookie in the tall glass of milk. He shrugged, the corners of his mouth lifting in a wry smile. "It's more fun killing the cookies than it is eating them."

Chris scoffed. "You're insane, but do you have anymore cookies?"

"Cookies? I think you ate all of them." Gordie slid his chair back across the black-and-white-tiled kitchen floor, walked over to the pantry and peeked in. "Never mind--Do you want a Fig Newton?"

"Fig Newtons suck."

"What's wrong with them?"

"Don't ask _me_, I didn't manufacture them," Chris said, glaring at his friend in disgust as he brought the bag of Fig Newtons over to the table and sat down. "They're healthy. Cookies are supposed to be bad for you and that's the way I like my cookies."

"Bad?"

"Yeah." 

Gordie laughed as Chris took the bag of cookies from him and peered in cautiously. "Get all your school supplies and shit?"

"I think I have some pencils." 

"As of tomorrow, we're gonna be seniors," Gordie said, grinning deviously. 

"Ooh, freshmen of the world, beware," Chris muttered. 

"We can step on them!" he exclaimed victoriously. 

"Gordie, they'll beat you up."

"Yeah, I guess…" He shrugged his still-scrawny shoulders. "No need to be cruel just because I like weird cookies."

"Actually, these aren't bad," Chris admitted, chewing a Fig Newton with tentativeness. "Once you get past the fact that they're mushy like old grandma food. I like my cookies crisp."

"I'm glad we both have Mrs. Pedensky for English this year," Gordie said. "I heard she's like a vulture."

"That can't be good," Chris laughed. "Like she eats dead people?"

"I don't know. That's just what I heard."

There was a light knock on the back door, and Gordie barely looked up. "Come in."

"Dying," the visitor announced, letting the screen door slap shut behind her. "Dyyying."

"Don't care," Gordie replied. "Don't caaare."

"Hey Chris," she said, collapsing at the table, her ash-blond hair splaying across her tanned arms. "Imagine finding you here."

"Hi Anya," he said back, smiling. 

"Speaking of people who don't _belong here_," Gordie giggled. "What the hell do you want, Anya?"

"My family is squabbling. I got pissed. I considered going to Reese's, but then I realized how very far away he lives from me and how very hot it is outside and so I came here because you're closer," she explained. "And you usually have good food."

Anya Berkowitz was the youngest in a large Polish family who lived two blocks away from the Lachance's. Her parents knew little English, and it was somewhat amusing to listen to them argue in a foreign language. But Anya didn't enjoy the environment so much, so she usually came over to Gordie's house. To her, Gordie was like yet another brother, since he had grown up as one of her best friends, and there was no chance of romance between the two, especially since she had been going out with Reese Aarons since eighth grade. 

Despite how platonically close Gordie and Anya were, Chris barely knew the girl. They had known each other all their lives and had always been polite, but neither of them would call the other a real friend. 

"Get your sweaty body off my kitchen table," Gordie laughed, poking at her. 

"Oh, I forgot," she said suddenly, digging into her hand-me-down jeans pocket and pulling out a quarter. She slid the quarter over to Chris. "That's yours. When Reese bumped into you yesterday at the store and you dropped your money, um, he, um, didn't realize that he was stepping on that quarter you couldn't find, so here."

Chris nodded. He disliked Reese Aarons with a passion and was the main reason Chris had never really associated himself with Anya. Gordie and Chris had gone to the corner store the previous day to buy root beers. Just as he was getting out his change to pay for his drink, Reese hit his elbow and caused him to drop the money on the floor. When he had gone to gather the coins, he was short twenty-three cents, even though he had known he'd had the right amount before. He had had to leave the store red-faced. 

"Um, thanks," he muttered. He offered the bag of Fig Newtons. "Would you like a _cookie_, Anya?"

"What kind of _cookie_, Chris?" she asked, wrinkling her nose. 

"Fig Newtons."

"Fig Newtons suck."


	2. First Day

"Nous avons un examen mercredi, Mademoiselle Lane," Madame Devreaux babbled. 

Lorelei Lane looked up in shock. This was only the first day of school. Why was this teacher already talking to her? And in _French_, no less? Granted, this was French class…but she had no idea what Madame Devreaux had just said and now everyone was staring at her. 

What it _sounded_ like was _would you like to kill the cat on Wednesday? _

"Oui! Je déteste ce chat!" she said with passion, meaning, _yes! I hate that cat! _She smiled endearingly. 

Devreaux rubbed her temples as if she had been struck by a sudden aneurysm. "Will it be like this all year, Lorelei?"

"Like what?" she demanded, pretending to be offended. 

"I didn't ask you about a cat. I was just informing you that we have an exam on Wednesday to review what you should have learned in grade eleven but may have forgotten over the summer. Perhaps you should study, hmm?"

"Hmm," she agreed, blushing and sliding down further into her seat. "May I go to the bathroom?"

__

"Pardon?" Devreaux demanded pointedly.

"Sorry. I mean, uh, merci. May I go oui-oui?"

The class burst out laughing and Lorelei hardly waited for her teacher to nod before she rushed from the classroom. 

She passed the bathroom and headed outside, digging in her tote bag for the cigarettes she stole from her father. 

"I want to weld something," Vern Tessio whispered to Teddy Duchamp. 

Teddy brushed some sawdust off of the workbench and rested his elbows against it. He liked shop class. He didn't really have to do anything. That was the way he liked it. 

But when he glanced over at Vern, he saw that his big blue eyes were double their normal size as he watched their teacher, Mr. Pardue, weld sheet metal. He looked at the flying sparks like they were fireworks. Teddy often wondered about Vern. He was like an eight-year-old in an eighteen-year-old's body. 

"When do _we _get to weld stuff?" Vern demanded, looking up at Teddy. "That man sucks. He hogs all the welding time and I want to weld now."

"I want to _smoke_ now," Teddy muttered, shooting his arm up into the air. "Pardue?" he called above all the grinding, screeching sounds of the shop room. "May I go get a drink?"

"Sure. Make sure you flush first."

Vern whispered quickly, "You didn't buy yourself enough time to have a smoke! Ask to go to the bathroom!"

"Wait, I mean, can I go to the bathroom?" he stammered. 

"I don't know if you can go to the bathroom. I didn't potty train you, Duchamp."

"MAY I go to the bathroom?"

"Not here."

Teddy scowled impatiently, and Mr. Pardue smirked and dismissed him with the wave of a hand. 

The distant September sun barely touched Teddy as he walked outside, fishing for his pack of cigarettes. An autumn wind brought goosebumps to his arms. 

"Dammit," he grumbled, realizing he didn't have a lighter or any matches on him. Now that he couldn't have his smoke, he wanted it even more. He looked around Castle Rock High's courtyard and spotted a girl leaning against the school wall and bending one knee behind her. She was looking off at nothing, and a cigarette was perched between her two fingers. 

"Hey," Teddy said. He'd known her for years; ever since she had given him a black eye in grade seven when he snapped her bra on a dare in art class. "Lorelei. Got a light?"

She turned her skeptical grey eyes to look at him like he was mad. "Oh, I don't smoke."

"Ah, so the cigarette's just keeping you company?" 

Lorelei grinned. "I like the taste of them. I don't actually light them."

"Woah," he said. "I've known you for five years and I never knew you were weird. Go figure."

Laughing, she searched around in her bag and produced a book of matches. She handed them to him. "Lucky for you, I also like the smell of burnt matches."

"Jesus. Thank you," he said, breathing a sigh of relief. 

Just as he was exhaling his first drag, Mr. Grodin, the principal, walked out of the back door, mumbling about juvenile delinquents. 

"Gah!" Lorelei squeaked, throwing her nibbled-on cigarette in the air and diving to the ground. 

"Act CASUAL, you moron!" Teddy hissed. 

"Theodore Duchamp," Mr. Grodin said smugly, walking over to them, his lips curled around a pipe. "Can I interest you in an all-expense paid trip to after-school detention?"

"Nah."

"Oh, Miss Lane!" he exclaimed, finally spotting her from her place on the ground. "Looks like it'll be a trip for two."

"I wasn't smoking--I was sucking!" 

The principal's eyes widened. "All right, you two. Both of you inside. Teddy, put that out."

Lorelei slouched beside Teddy as Mr. Grodin ushered them inside. "You and your damn bad habit," she muttered. 

Gordie leaned over, trying to catch his breath. He peered up at Chris, whose cheeks were flushed with exertion. "What is this asshole's problem, making us play basketball on the first day of school?" he panted. 

Coach Grenaldi blew the whistle. "Lachance! Chambers! You can discuss your date for tonight later! Get back in the game!"

Gordie muttered explicit language under his breath as he jogged to the other side of the key. Chris rolled his eyes and pretended to act like he was involved in the game, waving a limp hand over his head to show that he was open. Then he realized that the other team had the ball so he decided to stand there. Even though he had quit smoking two years earlier, this was a bit too much physical activity for him so he just watched. But he wasn't prepared for it when Reese Aarons barreled towards him, hitting him squarely in the chest with his shoulder, as if he were playing football. As Chris fell to the ground, his foot lashed out. It was purely by accident, but he still canned Reese with perfect accuracy.

"Watch it, Chambers!" Grenaldi barked. "That's poor sportsmanship!"

Not meaning to ignore Gordie's outstretched hand, Chris got up on his own, a scowl on his face. Reese had hit him on purpose but the coach didn't care. 

Grenaldi jogged over to him. "What do you think you're doing, Chambers? Your first day back--you're already causing trouble?" He jerked a thumb in the direction of Reese, who was on his knees and groaning. He could have won an award for the act he was putting on. 

"I wasn't causing trouble, sir, I just fell, I didn't mean--"

"You never _mean_ to do anything, kid. Twelve laps."

"What?" he shrilled. "He hit me on purpose! I hit him by accident!"

"Are you talking back?"

"Maybe I am! I have something to say!"

"Say it in detention. I don't want to hear it."

Without thinking, Chris crossed his arms over his chest in a position of defiance. "This is bull, Coach."

"Get used to it, kid. You in particular are going to be seeing a lot more bullshit where that comes from. Forget the laps. Just be in the library for detention at three. You know where it is."

Shaking his head, Chris looked at the coach's back as he walked away. Then he lowered his head in defeat. Gordie, who was still standing by his side, stared at his best friend and just wished there was a place for him somewhere, just anywhere, a place where Chris wouldn't have to get used to putting up with bullshit because of the last name he carried. 

"Lie!" Anya called, jumping to see above the damned tall people in the hallway. "Wait for me!" Muttering pardon me every three seconds, she made it through the hallway to her best friend's side. Smiling breathlessly, she said, "Hey Lie."

Lorelei raised her eyebrows at Anya. "Hello, Anya."

"How was your first day?"

"I hated it."

Laughing, she shrugged, linking her arm through Lorelei's. "Well, sorry to hear that. Ready to go home? Reese said he'd drive you."

Someone bumped into Lorelei, sending her sprawling into the display case. She glared in the person's direction, although she didn't know who it had been. "Tell him thanks, but I have detention."

"On the first day of _school_?" Anya cried. "What did you do?"

"Nothing!" she exclaimed. "I embarrassed myself in French class--I class I am planning on dropping--"

"You've been planning on dropping it for the past five years, Lie," she reminded her patiently. 

"Whatever. So, I went outside for a smoke and Teddy Duchamp came outside for a smoke too and he got us both in trouble!"

"Lorelei, I've told you a thousand times that sucking on unlit cigarettes isn't any smarter than the alternative and the authorities aren't going to just be like 'oh yay for you for only smoking indirectly.'"

"You're supposed to be my best friend," she sighed. 

"I _am_ your best friend. I'll get Reese to wait around with me so that we can still give you a ride, okay?"

"Really?" Lorelei's face lit up. "I love you!"

"Eww, don't say that, you cootie monster," Anya giggled. 

"Wait, what about Brooke?" Lorelei asked. "She won't want to wait around. She'll be pissed."

"Brooke is always pissed. I think air even pisses her off."

Brooke Aarons was Reese's younger sister by ten months. They were both in grade twelve, because she had skipped the seventh grade, and she was still smarter than everyone else with the possible exception of Cassie Grey. She was reserved and had a whole enigmatic aura about her, and guys had been falling for her left and right since grammar school. Her effortless self-confidence was frighteningly appealing and the male population loved her. Girls, on the other hand, didn't get close to Brooke. She'd probably just steal their boyfriends. 

"Hey babe," Reese said, sneaking up on Anya and holding her from behind. He kissed her cheek and she smiled back at him; a lovesick smile that disgusted everyone in even the relative vicinity. "Ready to go?"

"Actually, no," she replied. "Lorelei got a detention. Would you mind waiting with me for her?"

Sighing, he rested his chin on the top of his girlfriend's head as if resting in thought. "How long is your detention?" he asked, unimpressed. 

Lorelei gave him a sarcastic look, if that was at all possible. She didn't like Reese all that much. She actually preferred his bitchy sister. "Oh, heaven forbid. Shouldn't be more than nine hours this time." 

Reese rolled his eyes. "Ann, you need some new friends." He ended the long hug, but slipped her hand into his. "I guess we can wait. You and me will just have to find like a closet or something to make out in."

While Lorelei shrieked in horror, Brooke approached them and shot her brother a dirty look. "Anya, before you make out with him in any sort of closet, I should inform you that Reese has verbal diarrhea. As in, diarrhea of the mouth."

"Ack," Lorelei muttered. "The images…"

"Oh, _Brooke_, it's you; I thought I felt the temperature drop," Reese said pleasantly. 


	3. 3:00 PM

After leaving Lorelei to meet her fate in detention, the group of three rounded the corner to sit in the lounge. Gordie was already there, with his binder open in front of him. He rested his chin on the palm of his propped up arm, looking down with blatant boredom. Vern Tessio was with him. Gordie was there because he always drove Chris home, and Vern planned on catching a ride home with Teddy. Like Lorelei, Chris and Teddy were both in detention. 

"Gordie, hey," Anya called to him, but didn't go over to where he was seated. She knew that he didn't like Reese or Brooke so she didn't want to cause them to have to converse or anything. "Where's Chris?"

He looked up at her, looked at the Aarons siblings, then back to Anya and smiled only at her. "Detention." 

Abandoning Brooke without any real mean intent, Anya and Reese left to sit by themselves at one of the far tables in the lounge. Even though Brooke usually preferred to be alone, she raised her chin, righted her posture and sat next to Gordie at his table. 

Gordie glanced at her. But that was all she got from him. 

"What are you doing?" she asked, gesturing to his binder. 

"Homework."

"On the first day?"

"Yep."

She couldn't help but feel slightly annoyed. Most people assumed it was easy for her to talk to guys, but it wasn't. And being rejected by the guy that she had liked since she was in the fifth grade wasn't an ego booster. "What's it in?"

"English." He finally looked at her while he explained, "Mrs. Pedensky wants us to write a two page composition telling her about ourselves."

"What do you have so far?" she asked curiously. 

The patiently tired look he had been giving her moments before turned into impatient contempt. She noticed he sort of moved his arm to cover his paper. "Nothing. Look, Tommy's sitting over there. I heard last year he had a crush on you."

Tommy Edwards was the captain of the football team and practically every girl in Castle Rock loved him. Gordie was hinting at her to leave him alone and go sit with Tommy. 

Rolling her eyes, not sarcastically but to show she wasn't hurt, Brooke muttered, "Hope you had a good summer, Gordie." Then she picked up her bag and left the lounge.

"Hey Teddy," Chris said when Teddy plopped down at his table. He hadn't talked to Teddy since grade eleven's year-end dance. "Detention on the first day, huh?"

"Better believe it," Teddy laughed. "Got caught smoking."

Chris looked at Teddy in surprise as Lorelei Lane took a seat next to him like the two of them were old friends. She slumped forward, resting her chin on her arms. "I got caught smoking too even though I don't smoke."

Teddy smirked at Chris. "She just sucks."

Nodding but not understanding, Chris offered, "I accidentally kicked Reese Aarons in the balls."

Lorelei practically threw her head back in laughter. 

Her not exactly attractive cackle made Chris laugh. He didn't know Lorelei very well; he just knew that she was Anya's best friend. Anya was friendly and well liked by everyone but didn't exactly fall into the popular crowd, while Lorelei was comically aloof and very much an original. They were complete opposites but had been best friends forever. Still, Lorelei was just the sidekick; shadowed by Anya's glow. 

"Are we talking back there?" Mr. Matthews, the supervisor, called. "Do you three want another day?"

They all shook their heads. Chris suddenly noticed that the three of them were the only occupants in the room besides Mr. Matthews. Most people didn't acquire detentions on their first day back to school. 

Mr. Matthews went back to his western book. Lorelei muttered with a grin, "Jackass."

"Pardon me?" he demanded crossly. 

"DONKEY," she corrected herself. 

Hoping no one would see her sitting against her locker alone, Brooke pulled a paperback out of her knapsack and turned to the page she had left off on. 

"Hi Brooke," Cassie Grey said, stopping on her way by. "How was your summer?"

Smirking politely, Brooke made a so-so gesture with her hand. "What about yours?"

"I worked at the library."

"Oh, that sucks."

"Actually," Cassie said, adjusting her hands to get a better grip on the huge stack of papers she was carrying. "I like books."

"So do I, but I wouldn't want to be in a library all summer."

A smile crossed Cassie's clever face. "Maybe that's why we've never been friends," she laughed.

Covering how distantly insulted she felt with a laugh, she shrugged and agreed, "Yeah, maybe. What are you doing with those papers? All those advanced courses you're taking give out that much homework?"

"Student council," Cassie said, as if that explained everything. "I'm helping Mr. Grodin with transcripts and crap like that."

"Maybe that's why you've never had a boyfriend," Brooke said, getting back at her for her earlier comment, but Cassie's hurt was plain on her face. 

That was the difference between Cassie and Brooke. Where one lacked in an area, the other prospered. They were in constant unspoken competition with each other. Cassie had tons of friends, like Anya and Lorelei, but had never had a boyfriend in all her seventeen years. Whereas Brooke, who could and did have most of the guys she wanted, could count the amount of friends she'd had in her life on one hand. 

"I've never had a boyfriend," Cassie said indignantly after watching Vern walk by, "Because I don't believe in love. It's as simple as that."

Brooke raised an eyebrow, and then also looked at Vern. "Bullshit."

"This is making me crazy," Lorelei whispered.

"Shh," Mr. Matthews said.

"I'm going crazy," Lorelei whispered. 

"Shh," Mr. Matthews said.

"I just went crazy," Lorelei whispered. 

"Shh," Mr. Matthews said. 

"AUGH," she cried, burying her head in her arms. 

Chris and Teddy exchanged amused looks. They could tell why everyone thought of Lorelei as a sister. She was cute but not in a hot way.

"It's three-thirty," Mr. Matthews announced. "You can leave. I hope I won't be seeing any of you again, but I'm sure I will. Have a nice day."

"Asshole," Lorelei muttered. 

"Pardon me?" he demanded. 

"ORIFICE," she corrected herself. 

"I accomplished things," Gordie said cheerfully as he walked by Chris' side across the school parking lot. 

"That's nice, Gordie," Chris laughed. 

"I finished that retarded English assignment--"

"Damn," Chris muttered, trying to think of when he'd have time to do that himself tonight. "Wait a minute. How did you manage to fill two entire pages up about yourself? You're incredibly boring."

"Oh, I'm not boring to myself," he laughed. "Anyway. But then I think I might have offended Brooke Aarons."

Chris shook his head as he pulled his keys out of his pocket. "I don't see what you got against Brooke."

Gordie shot him a look. 

"Okay, I mean, I know the _history_ of why you don't like her," he said quickly. "But _she_ never did anything wrong."

"I know she didn't," Gordie admitted. "It's just that family. Is it really bad that I hate them, Chris?" he asked, turning Chris to face him. 

"I don't know, man…I just know that she's been trying to know you for the past six years but you keep pushing her away because of what happened all those years ago."

"Look, little children, should I hit them?" Reese asked on the drive home from school. The car accelerated. "Five points each. Ten points for the fat one."

Anya giggled, letting her hand surf through the wind. "You're an awful person, Reese."

"Yes, yes I am," he agreed, meeting her eye and laughing. "And you shut up back there," he snapped as Lorelei began to make gagging noises.

Rolling her eyes, Lorelei looked over at the regal looking girl sitting next to her in the backseat of Reese's battered car. "So, Brooke. How was your day?"

Brooke slowly turned her head to look at Lorelei. She had been rehashing the unsuccessful Gordie encounter in her mind. "It blew."

"Oh." She frowned. "But other than that?"

Sighing, Brooke just shrugged and leaned her head against the window. "Would you stop hitting all the flipping BUMPS?" she yelled up at Reese.

So Reese hit a garbage can instead.


	4. Isolating the Variable

The first week of school was typical. Tans faded, summer loves were forgotten, new school supplies were broken in. 

The first week meant review. Teachers kindly assumed that students forgot everything they had ever learned in their previous years, so they went over important stuff to refresh their memories. 

That first week was over. Review sheets were replaced with impossible assignments. 

Chris finished his algebra worksheet with five minutes to spare, although he'd had to skip two problems. Most of his classmates, none of which actually liked him, were already done and were standing around the door, ready to go for lunch. He didn't have anyone to stand around with in this class, so he stayed in his seat. 

"You're done, Chris?" Anya asked, aghast. She sat in the next row, a few desks ahead of him. 

"Yeah," he replied, but wondered why she was talking to him. People didn't usually do that. "I skipped number three and eight though."

"Oh, I got three…but now I think I'm having a brain outage."

He studied her tanned face for a moment or two. She had kind eyes, he realized. Clearing his throat, he asked, "Do you want some help?"

Normally, people might find that to be insulting to have a Chambers offer them help. But Anya nodded. 

Rising from his squeaky desk, Chris stood next to her. Looking over her neat writing, he discovered that she really did need some assistance. "Um, isolate _x_ first."

"I know, but I don't know how on God's green earth one goes about doing that." She grinned. "There's magic involved, isn't there?"

"Yes, Anya," he agreed solemnly. "Magic of the black persuasion."  
"Bahaha I knew it." Her eyes flicked to the clock. "Ah, son of a seahorse. The bell's going to ring in like a minute."

Not liking the fact that he couldn't be of any more use to her, he muttered an apology. 

"If you're not busy, you could come over after school. I could really use your help. I'm not getting this blasphemy at all. It's stupid."

"Uh, sure," he said, although he was pretty sure Anya's boyfriend was going to murder him. 

Teddy and Vern skipped their morning classes. Sitting in the lounge, they pretended to be occupied with work, but the boredom was slowly killing them. 

"Why did you break your truck?" Vern whined. "We could be going somewhere cool. But you broke the transportation."

"I did not BREAK it," Teddy snapped defensively. He was still mourning the loss of his truck. "The curb broke it when I drove into it going slightly over the legal speed limit."

"Stupid," he muttered. 

"At least MY brain isn't in my dick."

"At least I HAVE a dick."

"Damn you."

Vern cackled proudly. "I win!"

Teddy punched him. "Gotcha last." He glared at his friend. "Don't even think about touching me."

They sat side by side, seething and scowling, trying to come up with insults. 

Just as Teddy came up with a supremely excellent burn, he looked over to see Vern open mouthed with his wide eyes following a girl as she walked past them. 

"Oh God. You're possessed by the Satan of love."

Vern's laughter was excited, like a little kid's. "That's Cassie Grey, man."

"I know. Hence, 'possessed'; 'Satan.'"

"She works at the library."

"Didn't know you could even pronounce the word library."

"I went in this summer to see if hey had any tape I could use to tape the bell back on my bike and I saw her and I was like holy shit man."

Teddy scoffed and rolled his eyes. 

"I love her."

"Whaaat."

"Didn't you see her?" he demanded. "She was practically screaming MARRY ME VERN!"

"I have to burst your bubble now…"

"Don't!"

"She doesn't know you're alive, man."

"Oh, she will. I'm hot." _I'm hot_ was Vern's favourite catchphrase now that he had shed all his puppy fat. 

"She's a brain."

"I love her brains."

"And she's a prude."

"But I'm hot!"

Teddy sighed. 

At the end of the day, an assembly was called, much to the delight of the student body who got out of their last period classes. To Lorelei, assemblies weren't much better than mind-numbing classes. There were more people, which equaled more body heat, which equaled annoyance. 

"Excuse me, pardon me," she mumbled, climbing up the bleachers. "Damn you, you damn horny sophomore. Don't look up my skirt. Anya!"

Reserving Lorelei's spot next to her on the top row of the bleachers, Anya waved to her friend. She was also sitting with Gordie and Chris. Reese was absent that day. 

Upon seeing Chris laughing with Gordie, Lorelei's heart momentarily stopped and then began to race abnormally fast. She'd developed a crush on Chris on the first day of school in detention, mostly because he was so opposite of everything. He wasn't an asshole like most guys her age; he seemed to have everything worked out despite how chaotic his home life was rumored to be. And no one liked him, for no reason. That made her like him. Obviously, if her retarded peers hated something, she was bound to like it. 

"Hey Lorelei," Gordie said once he'd stopped laughing. Then Chris cracked up again and Gordie snorted. 

"Boys," Anya laughed. 

"What are they laughing about?" Lorelei asked, quite concerned for Gordie's safety. He wasn't breathing. 

"Chris had a thought…"

"Oh no."

"He said 'if quizzes are _quizzical_, what are tests?" Anya explained. "They've been laughing for a good four minutes or so." She looked over to Lorelei to exchange a 'boys are so immature' look, but sighed when she discovered her best friend slumped over in violent giggles. 

"Testicles!" she howled. 

"Yes, Lie."

"Ow my sides…anyway, what's this assembly about?" Lorelei wiped tears from her eyes, still snickering. 

"Safe sex."

"How big is the safe?"

"Oh, _God_, Lorelei," Anya laughed, shaking her head. 

"Do you think they'll ask for volunteers from the audience?"

"Ooh!" Gordie jumped up. "I volunteer _my_ body!"

Anya dragged him back down. "Why do I feel like I'm babysitting?"

"I don't know," Lorelei said, her eyes wide with innocence. She laid her head down on Anya's shoulder. "Hold me, I'm scared."

While Mr. Grodin attempted to get everyone to shut up, Anya whispered, "You know Chris? I invited him over after school. Is that bad?"

Lorelei took a second to comprehend this news. How was it that Anya could get two guys at once, but she couldn't even get _one_ to look at her like an actual girl?

"Lie?" Anya peered closely at her. 

"Yeah…" Lorelei said, shaking herself out of her thoughts. "Um, I don't think it's bad if you don't let Reese found out. He might go insane with jealous rage and he'd be all murderous-like."

"Chris is just helping me with algebra."

"You could have asked anyone to help you," she pointed out. 

"Well, yeah, but he's in my class--he knows what Mr. Burford expects…"

Lorelei raised her eyebrows. "Do you like him?"

"Who, Mr. Burford? He's married."

"Chris, dumbass."

"Oh. No," she said immediately as if that was preposterous. Then her face softened and she looked at Lorelei sadly. "It's just…you know how awful people are to him and everything…it just makes me wanna hug him."

"What about have his children?"

Anya smiled. "It's just algebra, remember."

"Anya, all that variable talk about x- and y-intercepts…it's an incredible turn on. I can hardly keep my clothes on just thinking about it. Good thing we're having a safe sex lecture." Lorelei pretended to wipe sweat off her forehead in mock relief, but she was just sad. Why hadn't she told Anya that she liked Chris?

"Do you know who Vern Tessio is?" Brooke asked Cassie. The two of them had taken extra time finishing their History quizzes and had entered the gymnasium late. There was no room on the bleachers, so they sat against the wall; together but not by choice. 

Cassie began to braid her light brown hair absentmindedly. "Yeah, why?"

"He's staring at you like you're something marinated."

"What?" She let the half-finished braid fall to her shoulder, her eyes searching the crowd. "Why?"

"Oh, because you're a mouth-watering piece of meat, Cassie."

"Really?" Cassie looked down at her nondescript figure, found that nothing had changed over night, and looked back at Brooke in confusion. 

"Cassie, I don't _know_," Brooke said impatiently. "But I do know that Vern has a thing for you."

"Adolescent male hormones?"

"A _crush_," Brooke explained, dropping her voice for dramatic effect. 

Cassie gasped. "Ick!"

"You still think boys are icky? You're more far gone than I imagined."

Cassie chewed her lip. "No. They're just distracting. He does have nice eyes though."

"Go gaze deeply into them, then."

"No," she snapped. She hated hanging out with Brooke. They were too different to be anything like friends. "Would you just drop this topic? We're supposed to be attentive or whatever. Grr."

"'Grr,'" Brooke giggled. 

"Yes, grr! I can't concentrate!"

"Because you're thinking about Vern!"

"_NO_, because--ARGH!"

"Oh my God," Vern blurted, slapping Teddy's arm repeatedly. 

Teddy tore his attention away from the lecture, which was causing him to laugh maniacally. 

"You'll never believe this," Vern said, looking at Teddy in pure shock. "But Brooke Aarons keep checking me out!"

"Aww, that's a very cute fantasy, Vern."


	5. Pairing Off

"Can I bother you for a light again?"

Lorelei turned around, and slowed down her walk when she saw Teddy, smiling behind her. 

"Is that the only pick up line you know?" she laughed, tossing him a book of matches. 

"Nope, but it seems to work on you." He grinned, striking a match, lighting his cigarette and then putting out the flame with a flick of his wrist. "Wanna hear another one?"

"Oh God. Yes. Woo me."

"Do you have any French in you?"

"No."

"Would you _like_ to have some French in you?" Teddy winked suggestively at her, pleased when she began to laugh.

"Clever, Teddy," she giggled. "Hey, where's Vern? Aren't you two joined at the hip?"

"Hell no." He shrugged. "He's stalking this chick he's got a permanent hard on for. He left me to walk home alone, the horny toad."

"I feel your pain. I usually get a ride home with whoever Anya gets a ride home from, but today she's decided to abandon me for Chris."

"Doesn't she already have a boyfriend?" Teddy asked, totally jealous. He'd always thought Anya was hot, but he knew she'd never go for someone like him. 

"She's practically _married_," Lorelei exclaimed. "It's unfair and I'm mad as hell."

Teddy crowed, slapping his knee in delight. "You like Chambers!"

"What? No! Boys--Ew! Girls are better! Uh…I hate you, Teddy."

"Holy crap, your face looks like a tomato. One of those big juicy ones you just want to squeeze."

"I blush sometimes. And please don't squeeze me."

Still cackling, he poked her in the side. "You want to jump his--" he began to say, but sadly, he was cut off by a blow to the head. "Jesus! Dammit, Lorelei!" He rubbed the back of his head.

"I'm sorry," she grumbled. "If you tell anyone, I'll kill you. Then I'll sell your body to lonely truckers."

"Hey, we're friends. Friends don't tell secrets. And they more importantly don't sell my body to truckers so they can have sex with my lifeless body." He threw his arm around her shoulders. 

"What are you doing? Are you lost or something?" she asked. He'd missed the turn to his street.

"By method of elimination, I'm the poor bastard who got stuck walking you home."

"Do you want a ride home, Gordie?" Brooke asked, passing by. He was sitting against the flagpole, alone. 

"I'll just wait for my mom," he told her, even though he knew his mother would never get the energy to come and get him, and he'd just end up walking home. 

Brooke ran a hand through her blond hair. "She won't come, Gordie…"

"Are you completely incapable of leaving me alone?" he demanded. 

"Kinda," she murmured. 

"It's pathetic, you know, how you've been trying to get me to pay attention to you for the past six years. You could have any guy in the school--so why don't you just piss off and bother one of them?"

"_I'm_ pathetic?" she shrilled. "At least I don't have to hold grudges against people that never did anything wrong, just so I can be angry instead of sad!"

"Shut up, Brooke," he growled. 

"It was my _dad_, Gordie!" she insisted in a pleading voice. "It wasn't me. It's stupid to hate me, because I was only eleven when it happened. I came to the funeral, remember?"

"You had no right," he whispered. 

"You weren't the only one who cared. And you aren't the only one who can't forget." Brooke sighed and walked away. 

It was the first time Gordie had ever wished she would stay.

"Chris?"

Chris had been watching Anya's dog run back and forth between the living room and the kitchen. He looked over at her, where she sat next to him on the couch with an afghan wrapped around her shoulders. "Yeah?"

She chewed on her pencil's eraser. "What the hell are the x- and y-intercepts?"

"You mean, in the problem you're doing, or just in general?"

"As in…I might fail grade twelve and never graduate and I'll be stuck in Castle Rock forever and I'll never get married because everyone will think I'm stupid!"

He grinned, sweeping his hair back out of his eyes. "Anya. This is only math. It doesn't mean you're never going to get married."

"No one wants a stupid wife! What if I mess up making brownies or something?"

"Send them to me. I'll eat anything." Chris brought his legs up onto the couch so that his feet were covered by the warm-looking afghan. "The x-intercept of a line is the x-coordinate of the point where the line intersects the x-axis."

"Agh!" Anya cried in horror. "WHAT?"

"You know, that y=mx+b formula? The x-axis is the numbers along the bottom of the graph. You should have plotted the points on your graph and--"

"GRAPH?"

"I'm sure you're good at other things!" he exclaimed. 

Closing her eyes, she groaned and leaned into his shoulder. "The only thing I can do is tie cherry stems in knots with my tongue."

"_I _can't do that." Not sure what to do now that she was touching him, he decided to settle on patting her head. "That's a talent and a half, Anya."

"Sure, I can become a stripper and seduce men with my nimble tongue skills."

"I'm sure there's good money in that."

"Yeah, and honour, too."

"So, how does Reese feel about your exotic career aspirations?"

Anya sat up straight, although Chris noticed that now the blanket was covering both of them and her shoulder was still touching his. "Reese doesn't care what I do or what I want to do, you know? Just as long as it's with him."

"Well, that's not right, Anya," Chris said softly. "He's your boyfriend. He's not supposed to treat you like an object."

She looked at him. Her eyebrows were knit together like she was angry, but her light blue eyes were searching and compassionate. "People have no right treating you the way they do, Chris."

"…Pardon?"

She laughed softly when she saw the blank look on his face. "They don't even know you but they think they have the right to make you feel less than them just because they don't have to go home to the same family you do. I mean, I know _I_ don't know you all that well either, but I do know you're more worth knowing than any of them. And, um, hehehehe…oh damn, I've gone stupid again…anyway, um, I think that if people would just open their eyes and forget what your last name was, you'd blow them all away with how great a person you are--to me, and to Gordie, and, um, hehehe…stop me anytime, please."

Chris did stop her. He kissed her. 


	6. After School

Brooke walked across the parking lot, as always with her back perfectly rigid. She tried the door handle of her brother's car, which he had let her use because he hadn't come to school, and she discovered it was locked. With a shaky hand, she jabbed the key into the lock. 

"Hey Brooke," Tommy Edwards called. He flashed her a shy smile. 

She smiled back. "Hi, Tommy."

He kept walking, and her smile immediately left. God, she was such a fake. 

She slipped into the driver's seat, leaned her head back, and after a long silence, burst into tears. 

Because she _wasn't_ a fake with Gordie. And the bitch of that was, he hated her. 

Vern peeked around the corner. Seeing Cassie walking down the hall, he squawked and dove back out of sight. 

"Oh God," he whispered, panicking. "Oh God. 'Hello Cassie, I love you.' No, no, no, you_ retard_, be cool. Okay. 'Cassie, because of you, I have to change my sheets almost daily.' Damn. Bad idea. Okay. Oh God. 'Cassie, you're pretty and will you be my girlfriend?' Oh God. Oh God."

Cassie turned the corner, saw him, and stopped in her tracks. 

"Oh God," Vern said instead of something normal, like _hello. _

She smiled nervously, going slightly paler. "Hi Vern. How are you?"

"I love your brains!"

"Oh." She grimaced. "Thank you. Yes. Okay. Goodbye now."

"Jesus, I'm so sorry," Chris said in a flustered rush, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "Seriously, Anya, I'm sorry. I should never have touched you."

Anya chewed on her bottom lip, her eyes thoughtful and liquid blue. "Why…" She appeared lost. "…did you?"

The question took him back. Why _had_ he kissed her? Had it been because of the way her ash blond hair caught every streak of light and turned it into gold, or how her hands wrung each other out nervously and vulnerably, or how she suddenly looked prettier than she had five minutes ago? Or maybe she had just seen all the things he wished people would see and he hadn't known how to thank her for opening her eyes. 

"I don't know," he told her; not being able to come to a conclusion. 

"Do you remember in grade seven, at that Halloween party? A bunch of us were playing spin the bottle. Remember?"

Chris nodded. "I remember."

"You were my first kiss," she said, smiling. He noticed that her mouth lifted a little higher on one side when she smiled. "I was so nervous when we all sat down to play because I'd never kissed anyone, and then when I found out I had to kiss you, I felt better. In my head, sometimes, I used to compare Reese to you, but after awhile I started to forget. You just reminded me, and I'm not sorry, so you don't have to be sorry either. I never understood why people were mean to you. I started to understand as I grew up, but I never got the justification of it. You're more than anyone knows, and that's all I've ever understood about you."

He couldn't think of anything to say out loud. A thousand thoughts raced through his mind, but none of them seemed good enough. Finally, he said, "You were my first kiss too. And now you're my second."

"Can I be your third?"

As he nodded slowly and deliberately, he asked, "What about Reese?"

Anya brushed back a lock of his hair. "I can't be with someone who treats you the way he does."

"He'll kill me, you know that, right?"

"If he tries anything, I'll sic Lorelei on him. She bites, kicks, scratches and licks."

"She licks?"

"Yeah, actually, the licking is the most effective one of her weapons. You piss her off, she licks you, and you immediately behave."

Chris grinned. Algebra was wonderful. 

"Thanks for walking me home, Teddy," Lorelei said when they were in front of her house. She hugged her books to her chest, and smiling up at him lightly. "It really wasn't necessary. I can cross the street by myself now."

"But you don't look both ways before crossing," Teddy pointed out. "And anyway, I wasn't in a rush to get home."

"I can see if my sister will drive you home or something; this really was so out of your way."

"It's okay." He mussed up her unkempt hair in a brother-sister way. "I'll see you tomor--" 

Lorelei screamed and dove for cover as a water balloon, coming from the tree they were standing under, pelted Teddy. He yelled in surprise and took his glasses off to wipe away the water. He replaced them even though they were all streaky. Then he dropped his backpack and hollered, "All right, I've declared war!"

"Oh God, Teddy no! You'll lose and die!" Lorelei exclaimed as she ran for the front step. "I swear to God, my brother was like raised in the jungle by those Pygmy people! He's evil and has very good aiming skills."

"Do you have a hose?"

"What?"

"Do you--have a--HOSE?" Teddy enunciated. 

"Go around to the side of the house," she muttered, wondering what it was about guys that made them so immature. She sat on the front step and rolled her socks down so that she could try and get a bit of a tan from the surprisingly warm September sun. 

"AAAHAHAHAHAHAHA--JESUS!" Teddy screamed just before there was a huge splashing noise. 

Lorelei's ears perked up a bit at the sound of horror and agony, but shrugged and rested back on her elbows, figuring someone would let her know when the war was over and someone was dead. 

Eventually, Teddy emerged from the back of the house, completely drenched and not leaving much to the imagination, led by a perfectly dry eight-year-old. "Hi Lora," the boy, her little brother Alexander, said cheerfully. She realized there was a tooth missing from his huge smile. "Is this your boyfriend? He passed the test."

"Um." Lorelei looked troubled. "No he's not, and you have a test?"

"Yeah. I ambush them."

"Okay. How long were you hiding up in that tree before I got home?"

"Like twenty minutes. I was actually going to ambush _you_, but then I saw you were with this guy and my plans changed."

"How free-spirited of you."

"Thank you. Bye!" He jammed his sling shot in his back pocket and ran into the backyard again. 

Lorelei finally turned her attention back to Teddy. She looked at him, startled. "Holy damn, did you shrink?"

"Uh huh," he replied, his teeth chattering. "I'd better get home before my balls freeze off." He began to make his way across the fading green of the grass; his shoes making squishing sounds with each step he took. 

"You poor wet rat, come here," she sighed. "You can borrow a change of clothes. I don't want anything happening to your balls."

"Really? You value the well-being of my balls?"

"No. Come in, I guess. Just try not to drip too much."

Gordie finally got home. He didn't bother calling out a hello because he was pissed off and he knew he'd be even more pissed off with the inevitable silence that would be his reply. 

For the first time in years, he went into Denny's room, his eyes closing before his head even hit his dead brother's pillow. 

"You're leaving footprints on the carpet," Lorelei whispered. 

"Yes," he whispered back. 

"Okay. This is my room. Yes, that would be my underwear drawer wide open there…So." Lorelei walked over to her dresser, rammed the underwear drawer closed with her hip while she dug through another drawer. Finally she produced a pair of sweatpants and a large blue T-shirt. "Here. My bathroom is right there."

"I can't wear your clothes, you're a girl and I'm a man!"

"A MAN?" she cackled. "That's funny, Teddy. Get dressed now."

Resentfully, he took the pile of folded clothes and locked himself in her bathroom. 

It smelled like peaches or something. It had never crossed his mind that Lorelei, who was like another guy to him, would be all sweet-smelling or whatever. It took some effort to peel off his soaking clothes, which he threw into the tub, and then he slipped into the welcoming warmth of her androgynous clothing. Looking in the mirror, he saw the words _Don't forget English homework_ were written on the glass in bright lipstick. He checked himself out. Interestingly enough, he appeared to be the same size as Lorelei. 

The peaches smell was getting to him, and he started to sneeze rapidly. Keeping one hand over his mouth, he looked around for a Kleenex box. All he could find was a roll of paper towel. He decided that the paper towel would just have to do; sneeze attacks waited for no man. He ripped off a huge wad, blew his nose violently, and then peeked under the sink to see if there was a trash can. Then he slammed the cupboard drawer shut upon seeing feminine products. Not taking into consideration how many paper towels he had used, he tossed it into the toilet and flushed it. 

"Hmm," he muttered to himself, watching the toilet. 

Apparently, the water seemed to be rising instead of going down. 

"Stop that," he whispered to the toilet. "Stop now. Oh…shit. Shh! Woah, there, slow down!"

He thought perhaps the water would just stop once it got to the top, but then it started to spill over the rim and onto the floor. "Oh holy Moses," he gasped. "Paper towels!" He started to unravel the roll of paper towel, throwing it on the ground. He was having visions of the entire bathroom filling up to the ceiling, and therefore began to panic. 

"Teddy?" Lorelei called. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Oh--" His voice cracked. "Just…I think I might be awhile."

__

"Teddy," she growled. "You leave my bathroom in the same condition it was when you went in there."

"Of cour--" He wiped out in the spreading puddle of water. "God damn you."

"Teddy, these noises I'm hearing are quite worrisome," she said in a cautious voice. 

"Lorelei," he said. "Um…we're friends, right?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you really like your bathroom?"

"Yes, it comes in handy."

"Are there other bathrooms in this house you could possibly use if something were to ever happen to this one?"

"TEDDY…"

"Okay, I'm having a war with your toilet!"

"Are you winning?"

"NO!"

"I won't kill you or anything. Just open the door and let me help you."

Teddy crawled to the door after slipping several times. After having a few problems with the lock, he eased open the door to let her in. 

Never in his life had he been more afraid of a five-foot-four girl with pigtails. 

"Remember how you said you weren't going to kill me?" he asked. 

Lorelei looked around her bathroom in complete shock. "Oh for the love of Jesus and all his twelve sons and his father's father…"

"You're not very religious, are you?"

"What did you DO?" she cried. 

"I blew my nose!"

"And the blowing of your nose somehow triggered the toilet to explode?!"

"Well, a funny thing happened. I used like half a roll of paper towel."

"How badly did you _sneeze?" _

"Well if you're bathroom didn't smell so bad I wouldn't have sneezed!"

"My bathroom _used _to smell _good!_ Now it smells like _toilet!"_

"Team work, Lorelei, team work!"

She growled inhumanly for a moment, then tried to spin around, but slipped in the water, which did not help her become any more cheerful. She carefully got to her feet and ran down the hall to get some towels and a mop. 

When she returned, she threw everything to him, and then set to work attacking the toilet with a plunger. 

Teddy grinned at her. "If Chris could only see you now…"

[Author's Note: The toilet adventure was based on true events…sad but true events. And also, the term "For the love of Jesus and his twelve sons and his father's father" belongs to my friend Robyn and her frustration with Biology. ]


	7. Lorelei's Crush, Anya's Truth

Getting to Biology class approximately three seconds before the bell, Lorelei plopped down next to Anya and swiveled around quickly to face her. 

Anya stared at her. "Have you been eating handfuls of sugar?"

"Noo," she replied, but looked confused and unsure about her actual sugar intake. "Okay. Are you busy?"

"Well, I was getting ready to learn about plants, so no, I am not busy." She reached across the narrow aisle space and grabbed Lorelei's liquid paper. She unscrewed the lid and proceeded to paint her nails with it. "Why, what's wrong?"

"I've decided I want to tell you something because I wanted to tell you yesterday but I chickened out and so I'm going to tell you now, okay?" 

"Miss Lane, can you tell me the equation for photosynthesis?" Mr. Kennedy asked. 

Lorelei barely glanced at him. "No." She went back to whispering to Anya. "Okay, so like, two weeks ago, I had that detention, right--"  
"What about you, Miss Berkowitz?" Mr. Kennedy interrupted again. 

Anya looked rather frightened. "6CO2 plus 6H20 plus sunlight plus something something something something?"

"Okay. Anyone else?"

After Ronnie Hawkins shot his hand up in the air and started to rattle off the meaningless equation, Lorelei began to talk again. "I have a new crush."

Anya grinned softly but eagerly at her. "Ooh. Yes? Enlighten me."

"I'm so glad you're my best friend," Lorelei giggled. "Because I know you won't like laugh or anything, but anyway, yeah. I am infatuated."

"Tell me tell me tell me!" Anya pleaded. 

"GUESS," she laughed evilly. 

"TOMMY," she guessed. 

Lorelei made a point of flopping around as if dying painfully in a grotesque way. Then she recovered and whispered, "No."

"TEDDY?"

"_Whispering voices_,_" _Lorelei hissed, gesturing wildly with her hands. "And _no_, not Teddy, why did you guess him?"

"Because you guys have been hanging around each other an awful lot. I'm pretty sure I saw him follow you home yesterday. You're sure you don't like him?"

"I'm sure." She wrinkled her nose. "I'm _sure_. You should see what he did in my bathroom."

"Oh God," Anya cackled. 

"It like _exploded_!"

"Ewwww," she giggled crazily. "You let him beat off in your _bathroom_?"

"Ewwww," Lorelei cried. "_NO!_ He clogged the toilet! Ewwww, what made you think of Teddy jerking off in my bathroom, you sick monkey?"

"You said he exploded!"

"No I did _not_ say _he_ exploded!"

"Okay, okay, let's stop this conversation--it is wrong on so many levels." Anya smiled with playful politeness. "Just tell me who it is."

"No. You have to guess."

"I'll start talking about Teddy masturbating again."

"He came to your house yesterday and I was like amazingly jealous but I couldn't figure out how to tell you that at the time!" Lorelei burst out in a frightened rush. 

Anya's jaw dropped. _"Chris?"_ she hissed. 

Lorelei was slightly taken aback by her friend's reaction. She sat back in her seat, looking at Anya with curious hurt. She never took Anya for the type to disapprove of someone just because everyone else did. 

"Lorelei?" Anya whispered, confused at her silence. "You mean Chris Chambers, right?"

"Whatever, Anya," she muttered. "I would have preferred it if you had laughed at me."

"No, no, _Lie_," she insisted. "I think it's great that you like him, he's really cool. He'd probably like you too."

Not one to stay mad for very long, Lorelei said, "Thank God you're like hot and heavy with Reese because I got this feeling yesterday that Chris likes you and yeah…I think I'd be kinda sad if my best friend went out with the guy I like."

"Yeah, me too," Anya mumbled, and then put her head down on her desk. 

"I really like him, Anya," she murmured. "I don't know what it is, but I've really fallen."

It suddenly hit Anya badly how big of a mess she had made yesterday by kissing Chris. 

"Shit, man, though, I wish you coulda been there," Teddy told Vern as the two of them leaned against the chain link fence around the parking lot. They were supposed to be in math preparation class. "It was like the toilet was puking out water and Lorelei was so friggen mad at me it was just funny, and by the time the water stopped she looked like a drowned rat holding a plunger. Then she had to get me _another_ change of clothes because I kept falling in the water, right, and then she said she heard my mother calling me for supper and I should leave immediately. But she was kinda smiling, so I don't think she was like furious enough to kill me and eat me for dinner or anything."

"Dude," Vern said, after listening with awe-struck amazement to Teddy's tale of flooding toilet adventures. "Do you like this chick or something?"

"What?" Teddy was genuinely surprised. The thought of liking Lorelei had never occurred to him. She was like a guy, but only female. "No way, man, she's just a friend."

Vern giggled, poking his friend repeatedly in the shoulder. "You do, you do, you do, you do!" he sang gleefully. 

"I do not, and if you want to keep your manhood, I suggest you shutting the hell up right about now."

"Well how come you _don't_ like her?"

Teddy sighed impatiently. "How many times do I need to say this--I barely even consider Lorelei a _girl_. I don't have fantasies about girls that are barely girls, you know what I'm saying?"

"I think so. You're trying to tell me you like guys?"

Teddy rolled his eyes. "Yes, Vern."

Gordie wasn't at school the next day. Chris was worried, and he figured he probably flunked his English theory quiz because his thoughts were so occupied. 

Ever since Gordie's older brother Denny died six years ago, Gordie had missed school off and on when he was feeling sad. He never really wanted to talk about it, and Chris understood that, but he always felt so useless when Gordie couldn't even come to school because he missed Denny so much. 

He really just wanted to tell Gordie about Anya. And he felt so selfish. 

"I'm going to assign you groups of three to do your poet history speech," Mrs. Pedensky announced. She actually wasn't _that_ much like a vulture. Chris kind of liked her. "The groups are in alphabetical order. Reese Aarons, Anya Berkowitz, Chris Chambers--you're group one. You'll be doing Rainer Maria Rilke." She noticed Brooke raise her eyebrows and explained, "I didn't want to put you in a group with your brother, Miss Aarons. You're in group two with Russ and Danielle. You'll do Boris Pasternak."

Chris glanced discreetly at Anya, who looked like she had a headache. He almost smirked. It was rather ironic having to research a famous poet for English class in a group consisting of your boyfriend and the guy you cheated on the said boyfriend with. 

Once Mrs. Pedensky had read off the names, everyone dispersed to sit with their groups. Reese shoved his desk up next to Anya's, ignoring Chris when he slid his own desk next to him.

"I've never even heard of this Rainer Maria chick," Reese announced.

"It's a guy," Chris informed him. 

"Um, okay," he said. He looked at Anya. "Looks like you and me have got a lot of work ahead of us, huh?"

Anya turned her eyes up to look up at him tiredly. "What do you mean?"

"Well, with Chambers here in our group…"

"Screw off, Reese," she snapped. 

"Pardon me?" Reese stared at her in appalled confusion. 

She rolled her eyes. "He's smarter than you are. Don't talk about him that way like he's not even here."

"What the hell is wrong with you today?" he demanded. "And since when do you talk back to me?"

Chris set his pencil down on his desktop slowly and, in a quiet voice, told Reese, "Don't talk to her like that, man, okay?"

"I'll talk to her anyway I _want _to, Chambers," he growled. "Besides, she doesn't care."

"That's not what _she_ was saying."

"Excuse me?"

Chris looked away, and for some reason his eyes fell on Brooke, who was watching them cautiously. 

Reese's hand closed around Chris' shoulder. "Why have you been talking to Anya?"

Jerking away from him, Chris murmured, "She can talk to anyone she wants to. She's not your trophy."

An ill look fell over Reese's face. He looked to Anya, looking like he wanted her to hug him and reassure him that she loved him. "Anya?"

"Reese, not here," she hissed. 

"We're _talking_ about this _now_," he growled. "You been seeing this low life behind my back?"

"I said I'm not talking about this right now!" she snapped, her voice hushed. 

"Fine," he said, looking straight ahead, skimming his hand over his cut-short blond hair. "But I'm not talking about this later either. Don't expect to talk to me again, Anya."

"Reese," she whispered helplessly. "I was going to tell you…"

Chris looked at her. What the fuck? She was choosing him over Reese?

"Tell me now, Ann. Please?" Reese looked surprisingly and uncharacteristically innocent and alone. 

"You treat him so bad, Reese."

"Well Jesus, do you know who he _is?" _he demanded. 

"Do _you?"_

"Everyone does! Everyone knows that he's a thief, he's a cheat, he's just going to end up like the rest of those inbreeds--"

"Will you shut up?" she barked. "You could never even hope to be half of who he is, so just shut up Reese."

Reese and Chris both simultaneously looked up at the clock; both of them probably just wishing the class would end. 


	8. Hurting Lorelei

The news that Anya had dumped the popular, star quarterback Reese Aarons for the loser, dirt-poor Chris Chambers spread like wildfire amongst the senior class. Anya didn't mind who knew that she was interested in Chris, except, she was worried about when Lorelei found out. 

At lunch, the two of them avoided the cafeteria and sat by her locker to eat. 

Chris' eyes were on her downcast face. He shrugged and told her, "I really admire you, you know."

She peeked up, smirking. "Thank you. You know I feel the same way. Um, but, Chris?"

Taking a bite of his banana, he looked at her questioningly. 

"I have like the hugest crush on you, you know that right?" When he just smiled, blushed and shrugged, she continued. "I know this isn't fair to you, but I still can't really be with you."

An angrily confused look touched his face. "What? Then what was all that crap with you ditching Reese for me? Was that all just an act or something? Because I never in a million would want to expect that from you, Anya."

"Chris," she sighed. "Good friends last forever, and my best friend likes you. I'd never forgive myself for hurting her, because she's not the type of person you can hurt and still manage to live with yourself. I want to be with you more than anything, but she is my best friend. I know you wouldn't let a girl come between your friendship with Gordie no matter how amazing the girl was, and it's the same for my friend and me. No matter how amazing the guy is."

He kissed the side of her head, almost platonically. He understood, and she could feel that he did. "I don't have anyone else to eat lunch with today," he laughed sadly and quietly. 

"Hey, friends with potential need to eat," she told him, grinning. "We're not hurting anything by eating together."

"Wait a minute," Chris exclaimed. "Your best friend is _Lorelei_."

Giggling, Anya said, "The one and only."

"She likes me?"

"Yeah. She told me today, but apparently she's liked you since like the first day of school. I felt like the worst friend in the world."

"This is awesome--two best friends are in love with me! There's so many possibilities!" he cackled, pretending to be wounded when Anya elbowed him in shocked disgust. "Sorry…Anyway, you should be feeling like the _best_ friend in the world to her. What you're doing for her pisses me off because I'm not getting any benefits, but I admire you even more for it. You're a pretty amazing girl, Anya."

Smiling kind of sadly, she nodded and said, "You're pretty amazing yourself, Chris."

Deciding French class didn't excite her very much, Lorelei ditched it and went outside to sit on the bleachers. She watched the seagulls swarming around the schoolyard, looking for litter to feast on. She then prayed that they stay away and not crap on her. 

__

Back to Chris, she thought to herself, stealing her attention from the shit-hawks. She just didn't understand how someone as oppressed and abused as he was could grow up to be better than everyone else around him. He had this gentle radiance that no one else could touch no matter how much they hurt him. And she was just starting to see all that. But she didn't think she'd be able to feel any of it…

"Hey, Lorelei. Want some company?"

Startled, she looked up and saw Reese climbing the bleachers towards her. "Not yours, really, no. Thanks!"

Ignoring her request, he sat down next to her. "Well, I want yours." She noticed he was sitting close enough that their knees were touching. "I've got a question for you."

"I don't have an answer for you."

"How long has Anya been sneaking around behind my back?"

That caught her attention. She looked at him in surprise. "Whatever do you mean?"

"I just want to know how long I've been sharing her for. And I also want to know if there's been more guys than just Chris."

Her eyes widened. "Anya cheated on you with Chris? Chambers? Anya and Chris? Goddammit."

"You didn't know?" he demanded. 

"No, I didn't _know. _All I _did_ know was that Anya knew that I liked him and she never said anything regarding the fact that they've been swapping saliva." She leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees and sliding her fingers through her hair. "Why would she do that?" she murmured. 

"I never knew you liked Chambers," he muttered, not sure what to do now that his information had upset her. 

"She and Teddy were the only ones that knew," she told him. Even though she fought it, a tear slipped down her cheek. She just felt betrayed by the one person who she would trust with the things that mattered most in her life. 

"Hey," Reese said softly, putting his arm around her. "Don't cry. Come on, don't give her that much."

"I'm not crying," she said, although his touch made her cry harder. It should be Anya comforting her as she cried. But it was Reese who was comforting as she cried about Anya. Her body shuddered. "And she probably told Chris that I like him and they probably both had a good laugh about it--"

"Lorelei, shut up, why would they laugh?"

"Because it's pathetic!"

"What is?"

"I am!" 

"No, you're not," he promised. "You're not."

She didn't know why, but all of a sudden she was spilling everything to her former best friend's former boyfriend, whom she formerly despised. "It's always been Anya getting everything and me being happy for her and wishing I could just have some of what she had and everyone has always loved her because she's just so--fucking _perfect_, and I've always been her shadow. But she was the only one who wanted to look at me and be my friend and I really love her, and I don't get why she couldn't just _tell _me that she had already made Chris fall for her and--I just--_Dammit._ I just wish that I didn't have to be me and she didn't have to be her."

"She's not so perfect, Lorelei. She broke both our hearts, didn't she?" Reese stroked her hair. "That's why you're proving to be more beautiful than she could ever be."

Lorelei glanced up at him, an angry, hurt look on her face. But she wasn't mad at him. No one had ever called her beautiful before. 

Reese took advantage of that look she gave him and kissed her and after a moment, she kissed him back. He had to restrain himself from smiling. He knew that she needed him to be there for her. But she didn't know that he just needed her, in a different way. To get back at Anya. 

And somehow, hopefully, if he played his cards smart and used Lorelei in just the right way, he would also get to hurt Chris. 


	9. Lorelei and Teddy fight,Anya and Chris f...

"Is this going to be a ritual for you?"

Teddy looked at Lorelei, placing a hand over his wounded heart. "You don't enjoy my company?"

"Ahh, walk, you." She had been on her way home from school again, without a ride for the second day in a row. Anya was with Chris, and she was kind of avoiding Reese. And Teddy had caught up with her again.

"How was your day?" he asked, falling into stride with her. 

"Shitty."

Her quick answer startled him. "Oh. Why?"

"You're not my shrink."

"Pretend I am." He rested his elbow on her shoulder. "You're annoying when you're depressed. So stop it."

"Hmm, okay," she said brightly and sarcastically. "My best friend is off doing the nasty with the guy she knew I liked, and I let Reese Aarons kiss me."

"_Jesus_ Christ!" Teddy exclaimed. "You need some disinfectant right away!"

"It wasn't that bad," Lorelei muttered. "He might actually come over tonight to hang out or whatever."

Teddy ran his hands through his hair. "You are disgusting, Lorelei."

"Screw you, Teddy," she replied, mocking his tone.

"You do realize why he's suddenly interested in you, don't you?" Teddy asked. "He's just trying to get back at Anya, you know. And you were there, so he figured you were convenient. He might get a few good lays out of you and that'll be a bonus for him, but in the end he just wants to hurt Anya for cheating on him."

Lorelei shot him a dirty look. "Oh, because heaven forbid some guy should actually _like_ me! I forgot what a fucking disease I was. God, Teddy. Thank you very much."

"That's not it at all, Lorelei!" he insisted. "You're not a disease. You're funny and cool and all that shit, but Reese _Aarons_ doesn't realize any of that! And you know it! You're just hurt over Chris and Anya. Don't settle just because your feelings are hurt, okay? It's stupid."

"You mean _I'm _stupid."

"Right now, yes, you're being stupid. You're not thinking, Lorelei!"

Shaking her head, she dug through her bag for a cigarette. They walked in silence for a few minutes, and then when they got to the Maple Street-Adelaide Avenue intersection, she stopped and looked at him. Tears were built up in her wide, expressive eyes. "I think I'm smart enough to find my way home from here. This is where you're turning, Teddy."

Teddy stared at her for a moment. Then he just shook his head in disgust and began to walk alone down Maple Street.

[Author's Note: Thanks again to Robyn for the idea of the flirting with strangers depicted in the next section hehe…that poor man outside the Albert's Flooring and Carpeting store must still be working it off, eh??]

Meanwhile, Chris was flirting with men and Anya was flirting with women out the window of his truck. A little girl riding a bike came up from behind the truck as they stopped at a stop sign. Anya leaned far out the window, like a dog, and cried, "TRACY?!"

The girl looked at her like she was mad. 

Anya just grinned and twinkled her fingers flirtatiously. 

Once Anya was safely back in the vehicle and they were moving again, Chris glanced over at her. "Can I ask why you called the poor child Tracy?"

"Yeah, but I don't know."

"Weirdo."

"Yes, yes."

They stopped at a red light. Chris looked over to see a heavyset man sitting in the passenger seat in the car next to him. "Heeeeyy!" he yelled.

The man appeared awfully confused. 

"Call me?" Chris asked innocently. 

"Light's green," Anya told him. 

"Damn. I love that guy," Chris muttered. "So did you talk to Lorelei?"

"No. We have Home Ec together, but she never came over to talk to me. I figured she was mad and I was too scared to talk to her myself." She looked over at Chris. "I wish I had told her. I feel awful for her."

"She's a good kid," Chris agreed. "But we're not pursuing a relationship, remember? You're doing that for her. She'll forgive you. And besides, Lorelei's tough as nails."

"That's the thing; she's not," Anya said. "I mean, I know she puts up this whole front to make people think she's too detached to care, but she wears her heart out on her sleeve and she's so sensitive. This is going to hurt her, and she's going to be so upset that I never told her."

Chris came to a stop in front of Anya's house. "You're not a bad friend, Anya. I know that's what you're thinking, but it's not true. I hope Lorelei realizes how much you try to keep her from getting hurt."

She smiled softly, meeting his eyes with a distant tenderness. He was starting to mean the world to her, and she couldn't do anything about it. Without taking her eyes away from him, her hand sought the door handle blindly, and she tried to think of a way to say goodbye and thanks for the ride.

Soon the look became too intense, and Chris leaned over to her. 

Before he could kiss her, she turned her head. "We're friends," she murmured, and now she couldn't look at him. "That's too friendly."

Gordie sat at the table, pushing his potatoes around with his fork. His parents were miles apart even though they were sitting right next to each other. He looked between the two, both of their faces expressionless and alien, and sighed heavily. 

His deep sigh bringing his mother out of her thoughts, she looked up at him with a small smile. "Are you feeling better, sweetheart?"

"Dorothy, don't coddle the boy," his father snapped. "Gordon, you're still in the first month of school. What are you doing missing classes already? You think you can afford to slack off? You need to keep your grades up if you want to get into a good school. You don't have the talent or any promise of a future like your brother Denny did."

"Dad, Denny didn't have a future," Gordie murmured. 

"He _did_ have a future!" Mr. Lachance roared. "He would have done this family proud if it hadn't been for Mike Aarons and his goddamn drinking problem! My son paid with his life because of that man. That whole goddamn family is bad news."

"You don't know 'that whole goddamn family,'" Gordie snapped back, thinking about the day before, when he had watched Brooke walk away with such translucent poise. He had watched her until she had gotten into her car and start to cry, and then he had looked away. She wasn't so bad. 

"Your problem is you don't have any respect for your brother," Mr. Lachance barked. "It's such a pity--"

Gordie interrupted, "That it was him and not me, right? It's such a pity, isn't it, Dad? If it had been me that had died, you wouldn't have to spend the rest of your life comparing the bad son to the good son, because I would be gone! Mom wouldn't have to cry every night over the miracle she lost and you wouldn't have to be embarrassed over the mistake you can't get rid of."

His parents just stared at him. Finally, Mr. Lachance found his voice, and he said, "Denny never would have--"

"Stop _comparing_ me!" he pleaded. "I loved Denny, okay? I didn't love him because of how proud of him I was or how good he played football. I loved him because I knew who _he_ was, and because he was the only one in this whole fucking family who was proud of me or cared what I was good at or just gave a _shit_ about me! If you ever make a crack about me not respecting him, I am gone, do you hear me? Although I guess it wouldn't make much of a difference to you anyway, would it."

Colour stained his cheeks, but his anger had been spent on all the words he had only ever had the nerve to say to Chris. His parents knew now. Maybe they still didn't care; but they knew.

Mrs. Lachance looked up at him shyly, with the big doe eyes that he had inherited. "Do you want some more milk, sweetie?"


	10. blinded and, Cat

Gordie pulled out the thin Castle Rock phone directory, running his finger down the A's. He picked up the phone, keeping his finger on the number he was dialing so he wouldn't lose his place. He listened to the monotonous ring in his ear as he waited for someone to pick up. 

"Hello?"

The voice was low and gruff. He hadn't heard that voice in years, and he hadn't wanted to. Suddenly he felt dizzy and he had to sit down at the kitchen table with his head in his hands. "Hi, Mr. Aarons. Is Brooke home?"

"Uhhh, yeah…" Mr. Aarons said slowly, as if he wasn't sure if Brooke was actually home or not. "Just a minute." There were scuffling noises, then the sound of Brooke's name being called, followed by more scuffling. 

"Hello?"

Brooke's voice was smaller on the phone, more child-like. Gordie looked out the kitchen window at the setting sun, cleared his throat, and said, "Hey."

"Who is this?"

"Oh, sorry." He smiled softly, without mirth. Why was he _calling_ her? "Uh, this is Gordie Lachance."

"Gordie?" she asked, the surprise loud in her voice. 

"Gordie," he confirmed with a laugh.

"Hi," she said, kind of cheerful in an amazed way. "Why are you calling?"

Good question. 

He shrugged. "Well, I was just wondering if you wanted to meet somewhere and go for a walk."

"A walk?"

"You know, exercise?"

"You want to walk with me?"

Gordie grinned at her genuine surprise. He thought she would have had tons of guys calling her every night. "If you're not busy."

"I'm not busy," she said, as if she couldn't clarify that enough. "Where do you want to meet?"

"How about at Peterson's in twenty minutes?"

"I can be there in fifteen," she giggled.

"Fifteen it is," Gordie said, finding her laughter contagious…and almost endearing.

Gordie got to Peterson's convenience store first. He rested against the bike rack and waited for Brooke, looking up at the September sky. The golden streaks of descending sun reminded him of the leaves on the autumn trees, which in turn reminded him that this was his last fall before he had to really grow up. 

"Hi Gordie," he heard his name called. He looked away from the sky, but couldn't focus because all he could see were bright yellow dots from looking at the sun for too long. 

"Hi--" he said, rubbing at his eyes. 

"Do you have something in your eye?" Brooke laughed, curiously, as she got closer to him. 

"Bright lights!" he exclaimed. 

"Ahh, are you blinded?"

"Momentarily, yep." Still rubbing his eyes, he said, "But I'm good to walk."

She watched as he walked forward blindly, and decided to stop him before he hit a lamppost. "Hmm. Gordie, stop walking now."

Gordie stopped. "Am I about to run into something?"

"I'm afraid so. I would feel bad for the lamppost."

"Maybe I need some assistance."

"Or maybe you should take your hands away from your eyes," she giggled, but offered him her arm to take hold of. "Where are we walking?"

"Preferably not in traffic. I don't know, in a straight line, I guess." Even though the spots were fading, he still held onto her arm. She was surprisingly soft. He'd had absolutely no desire to touch this girl before and had never thought of what her skin might feel against his, but now that he knew, he didn't really want to let go. He briefly wondered if that was a bad thing.

"You weren't at school today, were you?" Brooke asked. "Can you see now?"

"I can see, yeah," Gordie replied, and they both pulled their arms away at the same time as if that was the right thing to do. "And no, I wasn't at school today."

"Why not?"

"Well, usually when someone misses school, it's because they're sick," he stalled. 

"Yeah, but why did _you_ miss school?" Brooke looked over at him. She was slightly taller than he was; he'd never noticed that before. "It wasn't because of that thing after school, was it?"

"What, that thing with you assuming things about my family?" he asked. 

"Yeah, and that thing with you assuming things about _my_ family."

"No. But the fight made me miss my brother, and the next morning I woke up in his bed and I didn't want to get out of it."

Brooke nodded silently. Then, she took a sharp intake of breath like she was going to say something, but instead just sighed. 

Gordie looked at her expectantly. 

She grimaced. "Why…Just tell me why you called me tonight, Gordie, why you're with me right now. Twenty-four hours ago, you hated me and you treated me like I didn't exist."

Of course he didn't know the answer to her question--he'd been asking himself that same thing the entire walk to Peterson's. He decided to try and make something up. "Some of the things you said yesterday kinda hit home. And tonight…I got into a fight with my dad. He said stuff about your family, and before I knew it, I was sticking up for you. Deep down, I know it wasn't your fault that Denny died. Your dad's got a problem, and my brother paid for it. It was a needless death, but I shouldn't be blaming you for it. But Brooke, he meant the world to me. You don't know how alone I am at home without him. I used to think that it should have been me, but a friend of mine taught me how to stop thinking that way. My parents still do think it should have been me though, and I live with that, everyday, knowing that they would give me up in a second if it meant they could have Denny back. I just needed someone to blame for everything that sucked at home, you know? And you kept trying to reach out to me, and so you were the only one there for me to hate and you took all that shit I gave to you."

Brooke kept looking down at the sidewalk. Gordie wasn't sure if she was even listening, so he tried something else. "So I called you. Because I'm sorry."

Still keeping her eyes hidden from his, Brooke muttered, "I just hope you're not using me to get back at your parents."

"I'm not," he said honestly, although he could see how she would think that. 

When she looked at him, it was like a reward. "Denny shouldn't have died, and I'm sorry for what my family has put yours through. I know it'll take forever for you all to stop grieving, because Denny really was special, but I think it's really fucked up for them to make you feel like the ghost, because you're not the son that's gone and you're all they have left, so they should thank God that they still have you. Umm, so there."

He smiled sadly. "Run on sentence."

"Yes." She smiled back. "Kitty."

"Kitty what?" he blurted, staring at her like she was insane.

"Hello," she said, kneeling down at the side of a scrawny tabby. She ran her hand over its matted fur and it stretched languidly to meet her touch. "I love you. Ahhhh, _Gordie_, I love her!"

He laughed. "Get a room." He started to back away. "Come on, Brooke, it probably has rabies."

"She doesn't have _rabies_. There would be foaming of the mouth going on if she had rabies." Brooke scratched the cat behind the ear and then followed Gordie resentfully. But she looked over her shoulder to see the cat following closely. She whispered, "Come on, kitty!"

"Brooke!" 

"What?" 

"I don't want the damn creature following me home. Go home."

"Who, me?" Brooke demanded. 

"No, I was talking to the cat," he said impatiently. "Let's go."

Pouting, she sulked at Gordie's side, but giggled when the rubbed against Gordie's leg. 

"Aghhh-it's humping me!!" Gordie yelled, grabbing Brooke. 

Brooke laughed wildly. "She lurves you!" she cried, tears streaming profusely down her cheeks. "She's not humping you, only dogs do that! She's just marking her territory!"

"I am no cat's territory! Stay away!"

"She wants you to be hers," she cackled. "Owww, I can't breathe…Gordie, stop being funny!"

"I'm not funny, I'm pissed!"

Brooke snorted. 

Gordie glared at her. But then he also cracked up. So, _this_ was Brooke. 

The cat followed them all the way back to Gordie's house. 

"She loves you, Gordie," Brooke said. 

"I hate her, Brooke," he replied. 

"She doesn't have a home!"

"How do you know? Maybe you kidnapped her."

"It's all dirty and sad and in love with you."

__

"Great."

"And lonely."

"Yeah."

"_Lonely._"

"I don't want it!"

"Gordie, she could keep you company and love you when your dad's being stupid."

Gordie glared at the cat. "You're probably hungry, huh." It rubbed against his leg again. "Stop being sexual with my leg."

Brooke scooped her up. "Look at this face, Gordie."

Gordie groaned. "Fine. I'll give her some food or something. But I'm taking her to like a shelter or something in the morning."

"Awww, you have a soft side!"

"Not for cats."

"What are you going to name her?"

"I'm not naming her. I'm not _keeping_ her." When he saw Brooke's crestfallen face, he sighed. "I will call her Cat."

"Cat?"

"Yeah." Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his father peek out the front window at them. "Anyway, Brooke, I'd better go inside."

"Okay." She smiled. "I'm glad we got to…walk?"

"Yeah." He grinned. "Walking is good exercise."

Brooke let Cat settle into Gordie's arms, and he held her awkwardly. "Goodnight, Gordie."

When Gordie went inside, his father was sitting in his favourite armchair. "Was that that Aarons girl you were just with?"

"Yeah," he said smugly. 

Mr. Lachance stared at him. "And is that a cat?"

"Yeah." Gordie grinned and went into the kitchen to find something for Cat to eat.


	11. Girls

Anya lay on her bed, listening to a scratched Bobby Darrin record while her parents fought outside her door. She blinked back tears. She just wished she hadn't screwed up everything with Lorelei. Yeah, she really liked Chris, but Lorelei had been her best friend since before kindergarten, and she loved her to death. She had been there through all her family issues, and Anya had helped her with her occasional emotional issues. 

She rolled over onto her side, bringing the hand-stitched quilt with her. 

Her mother yelled for her husband to get out of her sight, as always in heavy Polish.

He shouted back at her, telling her to go to hell. 

Maybe she could go to Gordie's, Anya thought. But he had missed school that day; maybe he would be too sick to see her. 

"Anna," a small voice called, and her sister came into her bedroom without a warning knock. 

"Hey, Ilonka," she whispered, quickly wiping away her own tears. "Are they upsetting you, babe?"

Nineteen-year-old Ilonka, who had been born with Down syndrome, nodded mutely and crawled into bed with her sister. Tears streamed down her innocently child-like face. 

Anya played with her sister's hair, whispering softly. It felt good to comfort someone else. 

"Are you done your homework?" Mr. Grey called after his daughter as she was on her way out the door. 

__

"Yes," Cassie replied, letting the screen door slam shut behind her. She collapsed on the porch swing, frustrated and sighing. 

Looking across the street to the Aaron's house, she watched as Mr. Aaron walked out of the house and got into his truck, no doubt on his way to the Mellow Tiger bar. One would think he would stop drinking after he'd caused the car wreck that had killed the older Lachance brother, but he was still drinking heavily even six years later. 

Cassie did have some studying she should probably be doing, but it was only the third week of school and she was already feeling burnt out. There was so much pressure now that she was a senior, and she just wished everyone would leave her alone and stop expecting so much from her. 

"Hey Cassie," Brooke, her across-the-street-neighbour, called, crossing over the Grey's lawn with her long, obnoxiously shapely legs. 

Cassie sighed. She had wanted to be _alone_. The last person she wanted to be with right now was the aloof, Homecoming Queen-destined Brooke Aarons. 

"It's pretty out, hey?" Brooke asked, and Cassie could see her breathing in the smell of the hyacinths and lilacs her mother had always prided herself on. 

"Yeah, I guess so," she replied tersely. Then she looked up at her expectant face. "Do you want to sit down?" she muttered. 

"Oh. Thanks." Brooke sat next to her on the porch swing and they swayed silently for a moment. 

"So, where were you just coming from?" Cassie asked to break the silence.

"I went for a walk with Gordie," Brooke said, smiling. "A cat followed him home. They were in love."

Cassie nodded, then looked at her sharply. _"Lachance?"_

"Yep. It surprised me when he called too, don't worry."

"But you--and his family…" Cassie stuttered, wishing she could put her foot in her mouth. "It's like Romeo and Juliet, with your families all hating each other…but only, he kinda…um…"

"He kinda hates me too?" Brooke filled in the blank indifferently. "Yeah. But we talked tonight so I think we're good now. And it's nice."

"Wow," she murmured. "Times do change. Brooke Aarons and Gordie Lachance. Go figure."

"Nah, we're not an 'and.' I mean, I guess I kinda like him, but he's still pretty wary of me, so there's no 'me and Gordie.' There probably won't ever be. It's too weird with what happened between our families."

"Yeah, I guess so. But he called _you_, didn't he? Maybe you could read into that."

"I choose not to. I'd prefer not to get hurt, thanks." She smiled and nudged Cassie like they were old friends from way back. "So, you and Vern!"

"_No_ me and Vern," Cassie snapped. 

"Oh come on!" Brooke giggled. "He's in _love_ with you! And you gotta admit, he's adorable."

Cassie squirmed. "Ahhhh those flowers smell good!"

Grinning, Brooke leaned her head back against the wood of the swing to look up at the sky. "That's funny. I've known you like all my life and I never knew you were cute when you get flustered."

She laughed. "Are you coming on to me, Brooke?"

"Yes, Cassie, yes I am," she replied teasingly. "Remember, I like _Gordie._ You're out of luck."

"DAMN," she laughed. 

"Hey," Brooke suddenly exclaimed. "You can see Orion's belt tonight."

"What?" Cassie demanded. 

"In the sky," she explained, pointing out the constellation. "Can you see it?"

"No…Ohh, yeah I see it. Hey, is that a constellation?" she asked excitedly, and pointed to a cluster of something in the sky. 

"That's a street light." Smirking, Brooke asked, "When's the last time you had enough free time to just sit back and look at the stars?"

"I don't know," Cassie replied, realizing that she'd never in her life found the time for looking at a peaceful night sky. She'd never seen the relevance in it until then. 

Lorelei stared at the phone in the kitchen. 

Her brother hurled peach slices at her. 

Maybe she could phone Anya and wait for an apology?

"Why won't you react?" Alexander grumbled.

She really did miss Anya. She'd never gone so long without talking to her. 

Alexander threw harder.

But Anya had made her cry. She'd hurt her feelings. Anya knew that Lorelei very seldom fell for a guy, yet she took that guy out of her reach. 

"I'm _annoying _you!" 

Then again, she couldn't hold Anya responsible for the fact that Chris liked her better. And she hadn't known that Lorelei liked him when she'd done whatever the hell she had done with him. She was probably just scared of causing a fight. Still--Lorelei figured she had every right to be mad. She would wait for Anya to talk to her first.

"Pay attention to me!" Alexander pleaded. 

Lorelei felt a peach slice go down the back of her sweatpants. "ALEX!" she screeched, throwing it back at him, but missed and hit her older sister, Aurora. 

"LORELEI!" Aurora screeched. 

"I'm sorry, that was in my pants!"


	12. Boys

Gordie let Chris inside, not paying any attention to his father's glare as he led his friend down the hall to his room. Chris, however, smiled politely even though the gesture wasn't returned. 

"I have made a mess," Chris announced. 

"Great. Me too," Gordie replied. "That's why I called you to come over." He paused in front of his closed bedroom door. 

"We're not going in?" he asked. 

"Yes," he said slowly. "But…it's where my mess is."

"In your bed?"

Gordie laughed. "No." He carefully opened the door, sticking his foot out when a brown blur tried to shoot past. 

"Holy mother--" Chris jumped back. "What the hell was that?"

He bent down and picked the ragged animal up. "This is a cat."

"It IS?" He peered closely at it. "Well, I'll be damned. It is. Woah. You have a cat?"

"No."

"I'm confused."

"I'm going to have to tell you about my night in order to explain where this beast comes from."

Chris nodded thoughtfully, going into the room and flopping down on Gordie's bed. "Sounds good. Then I'm going to have to tell you about my day when you're done."

"I am so fucking bored," Vern muttered. 

"You have your own home," Teddy reminded him. 

"It's boring there."

The two of them had opened up an umbrella and set it upside down in the middle of Teddy's basement. They were now tossing rolled up socks into it lazily. 

"I saw you walk home with that Lorelei girl you like again," Vern said monotonously. 

"I already told you--_I don't like her_," Teddy said impatiently. 

"You do so," he laughed.

"I do not!"

"I'll bet you any money you do!"

"FINE! Because I DON'T!"

"You love her."

"Shut up."

"You want to kiss her and hold her hand and buy her presents."

Teddy began to pelt him with socks. "Shut up!"

"Swear on Superman that you don't like her?"

"AUUUGGGGHHH!!!" Teddy roared, tackling him to the ground. 

"I was right!" Vern cried, a shrill laughter in his voice. "I was right!"

"If you tell _anyone_, Verno, I will rip off your leg and hit you with it."

"Heeheeheehee, does she love you too?"

"NO. She's stupid. Apparently she's all cozy with that Aarons jerk."

"Reese? Isn't he going out with that blond girl?"

"Holy shit! You didn't hear? CHAMBERS stole her right from under Reese's nose!"

"WOAH!" Vern cried. "I always knew I liked Chris! _And_ I also always knew you liked Lorelei."

"Shut up."

"You shut up. Retard."

Gordie was flopped over in his beanbag chair laughing hysterically, while Chris convulsed with giggles on the floor (He had fallen off the bed a long time ago). 

Eventually they calmed down, but they couldn't look at each other or else they would most likely start laughing again. Chris chuckled, "This has been a weird week so far."

"And it's only Tuesday," Gordie added. "So, I'm going to rehash this to see if I understand completely. You've got a girl who wants to be with you but can't because her best friend _also _LOVES you. Yeah?"

"It's about damn time I get some lovin'."

Gordie began to giggle again, distractedly scratching Cat under her chin. "I'll say."

"Okay," Chris laughed, using his sleeve to wipe the tears from his face. "Okay, now to you. Yesterday, you hated everything about Brooke, which is the last time I saw you. Then, you get into a fight with her, which _somehow_ makes you realize you can tolerate her after all. Then, you get into _another_ fight with your father, which makes you phone her. So the next time I see you, you have a new friend and a cat?"

Gordie nodded, grinning. "Sounds about right."

They looked at each other from across the room and burst out laughing again.

"That is one sorry looking cat," Chris laughed. "Did you feed it?"  
"Yeah, I gave her milk." He fell over sideways, his entire body shaking with giggles. "And a donut."

"You gave the hobo cat a donut?" Chris cried. 

"Hey, if you were homeless, wouldn't _you_ want a donut?"

"I suppose so…Um, did you give it a name?"

"Cat."

"Creative, Gordie." He grinned. "Does it smell bad?"

"Actually, not really. I tried giving her a bath, but she wouldn't go in the tub. And then I tried throwing a bucketful of soapy water at her but she moved too quick."

"So _that's_ why it smells like Mr. Clean in here." 

"No, Chris, that's my incense." Gordie smiled as Cat attacked a dirty gym sock. "I'm still trying to think of a sneaky way to clean her."

"Got any Windex?"

"You want me to spray my cat with window cleaner?"

Chris bobbed his head up and down.

"Will it kill her?"

"Oh _no_," Chris promised. "It'll make her shiny."

Gordie looked at Cat. "I did tell Brooke that I was going to take her to an animal shelter in the morning. It would be nice if I brought her in looking pretty. Then she might get adopted or something."

"You're not taking this cat anywhere!" Chris snapped. "She's our mascot."


	13. Quirky and Beautiful

The home economics room was beginning to smell like cheese pizza, and the scent drifted slowly into the hallway. 

Lorelei and Anya hadn't gotten much done. 

The two had been forced to be partners to make a pizza because everyone else was so used to them going together that no one bothered asking to pair up with either of them. 

Currently, they weren't speaking to each other. Anya had started off by saying, "Lorelei…" to which Lorelei replied _"What."_ Then Anya chickened out and asked if she would tie her apron in the back for her, a task Lorelei usually did for her without being asked. So Lorelei double knotted the ties, trying to make it as tight as a corset. 

Needless to say, there was an awkward silence between the two.

Lorelei decided she just wanted to make the damn pizza. She didn't care if she had to do everything, even if Anya got the same mark as her for not doing any work. 

"Will you pass me the freaking rolling pin?" she asked pleasantly. 

Anya glanced at her, picked up the dough-covered rolling pin, and as she handed it over to her, said, "What do you want me to do to help?"

"Sit there and look pretty, Anya. It's what you're good at."

"Lorelei--" she pleaded. 

"Forget it."

"Here, I'll start working on the sauce, okay?"

"I don't want your help," she snapped. "I'd rather fuck up on my own and get an F then get an A working with you."

Mrs. Richards came over to see how things were turning out. She frowned upon seeing that they hadn't even made the crust. "Not a whole lot of work being done, is there, girls?"

"Nope," Lorelei replied. 

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to work with her."

"You don't want to work with Anya?" Mrs. Richards asked, baffled. 

"Nope."

"And why not?"

"Because I don't trust her with my pizza!"

"Umm, okay," she said slowly. "I'll check on you in ten minutes. I expect to see some progress, girls."

Lorelei picked up the rolling pin like a weapon and glared at the shapeless mound of dough. Then she looked over at Anya, who was busy trying to grate the block of cheese. "Hey, get away from my cheese."

Anya looked up at her, with her eyes stinging with tears of humiliation. "Lorelei, _stop_. I didn't know, okay? I didn't know you liked him and if I had known, I never would have--I kissed him twice. That's all that happened, and it hasn't happened since I found out that you like him."

"And the award for best friend of the year goes to…"

"Come on, Lie, please just forgive me? You don't have to forget what I did to you, but just believe me that I'm sorry."

"Why, so you can feel better when you're boinking him?"

"I'm not _'boinking' _him--Good Lord, Lorelei."

She scoffed. "Oh, right. I forgot what an immaculate virgin you are."

Anya dropped the cheese grater suddenly. "That's enough. Just stop, dammit! He's all yours! I've known you for thirteen years Lorelei, and I never knew that you would throw away that many years of friendship over one guy. But if he means that much to you, do it."

"Oh, _I'm _the one throwing our friendship away? Who's the one that cheated on her boyfriend with the guy her best friend liked?" 

"I already said, I didn't _know!_" Anya cried. 

"But after you did know, what happened, Anya?" she demanded smugly. "You can't settle for having half the guys in this school salivating after you everywhere you turn--"

"Oh, would you just stop? That's not true at all."

"Shut up! Do you know how hard it is living in your shadow?"

"God, I didn't know what a burden it was being my friend, Lorelei."

Lorelei shrugged. "At least I'm good enough for your leftovers."

"What?"

"Your ex-boyfriend."

"What?" she repeated. 

"Teddy said Reese's just using me, but I don't know, Anya--it felt pretty sincere when he was kissing me."

"Lorelei! You hate Reese! You always have!" Anya cried. "Oh my God, don't settle like this just to get back at me. You have every reason to hate me right now, but Reese isn't making out with you just because he realized how amazing you are."

Lorelei leaned forward into their workstation, putting her head on her arms and smearing flour on her forehead, which Anya brushed off for her. "I don't know what I'm doing, Anya, everything's so fucked up right now…"

"I'm so sorry, Lorelei."

"I just don't get how you can always _have_ someone. And then I'm just the loser that's had one boyfriend in her entire life, which, by the way, only lasted for a week before he found out he was gay."

Anya put her hand on her friend's back. "You're not a loser. You're my best friend. I've seen you at your bests and your worsts. And believe me, even when you're at your worst, you're incredible. I don't know who it will be, but someone is going to see you like how I see you--the _real_ Lorelei with quirks and faults and everything--and you're just going to blow them away with how beautiful you really are."

"Did you rehearse that?" she asked. "I liked it."

"I'm not seeing Chris, Lorelei," Anya murmured. "I couldn't do that to you, not when I knew how much you liked him too. I'm sorry I didn't tell you what had happened between him and me, but I got scared and I didn't want you to hate me."

"Anya--" Lorelei said, startled. 

"It's okay. There's other fish in the sea."

"You hate fish. And you _like_ Chris," she said. "And Chris likes you back. It wouldn't be fair of me to say you couldn't be with him just because I want him; that'd be a double standard. Besides, _I _like fish. Lots of fish for me!"

Anya giggled. "I love you, you strange little cookie."

Lorelei looked up at her. "Wait, a few minutes ago, did you call me a lesbian?"

Her laughter sounding depressed but relieved, Anya asked, "What?"

"What does _quirk_ mean?"

Giggling, she replied, "All the little parts of your personality that make you, you."

"Oh good. I thought it meant something else." She grinned. "Quirk. That's a good word."

Mrs. Richards returned. "How are we doing here?"

Lorelei beamed up at the teacher. "I'm a quirk!"

In the end, they got an F on their pizza due to the fact that they never made one. But at least they earned that F together.


	14. spacewasting chapter

The English substitute had surrendered. After she had been pelted by the eighth spitball, she thought it would be best to sit down at her desk and read her Harlequin romance novel, so as not to be bothered by the demonic English students. 

Chris, Gordie and Anya were all sitting on the same desk, with Anya and Chris sitting side by side and Gordie with his back up against theirs. He had insisted upon calling them Mr. and Mrs. Anya Berkowitz, so they voted him out of the group. 

"Chris, your butt's too big and I hate it and I'm sliding off the desk," Gordie complained. 

"Well, _sorry_, we can't all be the size of a pretzel."

"I'm not twisty!"

"I didn't mean the twisty pretzels, I meant the pretzel _sticks_."

"Okay," Gordie said agreeably. "That's better. Kiss him, Anya."

"ARG," Anya cried, laughing, and pointing a finger away. "We're just friends! We vote you off the island now."

"Fine then, I'll go see if someone else wants to be my true friend." Gordie laughed, hopped off the desk and walked over to where Brooke sat. 

She looked up, her brown eyes slowly taking him in. She was the only one actually doing the assignment. She wasn't a goody-goody; she just didn't have any friends to goof off with. "Hey Gordie," she said, sounding surprised, happy and wary all at once. 

"Hi. My friends kicked me out."

She grinned. "I'm the consolation prize?"

"Nah, you're the _grand_ prize," he said, mock seriously, then closed her books. "Stop doing this learning crap. Visit."

Brooke nodded with a smile. "Did you take the cat into a shelter this morning?"

He looked like he was caught on the spot. He muttered, "Not entirely."

"Not entirely?" she smiled coolly. Was she doing this on purpose--trying to make him fall for her? She wasn't doing a shabby job. "Did you keep the tail?"

His eyes squinted when he laughed. "I was thinking of keeping her for awhile. You know, treat her nice and give her some good food before she has to go to a shitty shelter."

"Oh, you love her," she teased. 

"Do not. I made her sleep in the closet."

She gave him a knowing look. 

"Then the damn thing kept _meowing_ and _meowing _and driving me insane so I threw a blanket over her and, well, I think she's moody because she misses you. Or whatever."

Brooke burst out into laughter. 

"Me and Chris got her marginally clean. You should come over and see. She looks less like a dust bunny now."

Sitting back further in her desk, she smiled up at him. He returned it.

Chris elbowed Anya. "Look!"

She almost fell off the desk. "Oww," she laughed, holding her side. 

"Oops. Sorry. I'm used to beating up my friends. I guess you're slightly more breakable."

"Not really, I just whine more," she giggled. "Look at what?"

"Brooke and Gordie," he whispered. "Gordie and Brooke."

__

"Who and who?" she demanded. 

"They already had a cat together."

__

"What?" she cried. 

"Yeah," he said, nodding. "I think it's _like_."

"They're in like with each other?"

"Yep," he replied. 

She clapped excitedly. "That's freaking cute!"

"Uh-huh. Adorable." He smiled over at her softly. "How's everything with Lorelei?"

__

"GOOD!" Anya practically yelled. 

"Oh good!" he laughed at her excitement. "I take it you talked?"

"Yes. It was a good talk." She smiled, almost wistful. "She said it's okay for you and me to go out and whatnot. She wants us to. But is it okay if we just wait for awhile to make sure everything is all right with her? I mean, she resorted to making out with Reese. Although maybe I wasn't supposed to tell anyone that…_dammit_, I'm so bad for that!"

"Holy crap," he said. "_Why?"_

"Why what? Why is she with Reese, you mean?"

"No, I meant why would someone do that to her? To Lorelei of all people."

She shrugged, looking down at her hands. "Because he figures he can."

"He's a real asshole," he murmured. "Should I talk to her?"

"About what?"

"Reese. He's going to hurt her. Do you think she'd listen to me?"

"I hope so, yeah," she replied. "I think she would."

"He's glaring at us," Chris said, his eyes downcast. "He's a rather scary individual, wouldn't you say?"

"Ohh…" Anya shrugged. "He has his good side."

Chris laughed, as if that was the funniest thing he'd heard all day.


	15. Happiness and Innocence Turn Sad

At lunch, Teddy searched the school for Lorelei. He had decided to be brave. His bravery included him asking Lorelei out. 

"Hey, what are we doing?" Vern asked eagerly, as always at Teddy's side. "Are we playing detective? Aren't we a little old for that?"

"I'm looking for Lorelei." Teddy's eyes scanned the tiny lunchroom, but didn't see her. 

"Ooh, do you want fries with your sex?"

Teddy whirled around to face him. "All right, what THE fuck?"

"You're looking for Lorelei."

"Yes…"

"I thought that meant you were getting laid."

Scoffing, Teddy replied, "You wish. Well, I mean, I wish too, but no. I'm going to tell her the truth."

"Tell the truth?" Vern asked, bewildered. "Isn't that what deathbeds are for?" Then he stopped in his tracks and squawked. "Oh, God, look! Cassie!"

"Who opened the gates of hell?" Teddy said, then laughed because he thought his joke was quite funny.

Vern, however, did not, but that was just because he wasn't actually paying any attention to Teddy. He was staring at Cassie like she was walking down a runway. He envisioned a gentle wind blowing through her hair and a radiant light behind her, etc; the works. 

As she passed she looked at him and smiled slightly. 

"Oh my God!" Vern cried. 

"Oh dear God," Teddy muttered. 

"I'm gonna go follow her now…"

Teddy watched as his best friend trailed behind Cassie like a lovesick puppy. He rolled his eyes in disgust but continued his search. Just as he was about to give up, he saw her come out of the girls' room. "Hey, Lorelei," he called when she looked past him. 

She stopped walking, looked at him, scowled, and waited for him to come up to her. "Hi Teddy," she said, somewhat vaguely and indifferent.

"Are you mad at me?" he asked. 

"Ahh…" She shrugged. "I guess not. I don't know. You're stupid."

"I was just trying to make sure that that butt fucker didn't do anything stupid and hurt you, you know," Teddy told her. "I wasn't trying to make you feel bad or anything."

Lorelei nodded mutely, then put a hand on his shoulder to steady herself while she stood on one leg and inspected the bottom of her other shoe. 

Teddy stared at her. 

When she was finished looking at her shoe, she stood normally and smiled. "Just checking for toilet paper."

"Of course," he laughed. He crossed his arms over his chest, glad that she didn't look like she was going to leave him anytime soon. "Hey, so, uh…" He tried to conjure the nerves to ask her out. "Uh…"

"Uh?" She looked at him expectantly. 

"Uh…"

Chris suddenly came up behind Teddy. "Hello."

"HELLO," Teddy said loudly. He was happy that there was a distraction so that he could have some time to re-grow his backbone. Why was it so hard to ask her out? This was Lorelei, after all--she was harmless and she wouldn't embarrass him. 

"Looks like a heavy conversation," Chris observed. "Should I come back later?"

"Teddy was just talking to me about Reese," Lorelei filled him in. "Did you want something?"

Teddy watched with affection as she turned about four different shades of red.

"Actually, I just wanted to talk to you about Reese," he told her, shrugging. "But I guess if Teddy's already beaten me to it, then you don't really need to hear it twice, right?"

"Uh, right," she said. 

He put his hand on her shoulder the way he would do with Gordie. "So, yeah, well, okay, so just--stay away from Reese, I guess. I wouldn't want to see someone as cool as you get burned by someone as assholey as Reese. I think I'd feel kinda responsible."

"Why?" Lorelei asked, spinning from his touch.

Chris gestured weakly. "Well--you know…with the whole Anya and…me and the whole…uh, lips, and the…bad…"

She smiled gently, rather embarrassed. "It's okay. You and Anya may got on with your bad selves."

They both laughed. Then they looked at each other. Then they stopped laughing abruptly. Then they snickered, somewhat nervously. 

"Well," Chris said, smiling. "I'd better go. I'm supposed to drive Gordie to his house quickly, and we'd better leave if we want to make it back to school before lunch is over."

"Why does Gordie have to go home?"

"Because it suddenly dawned on him during Phys. Ed class that his cat doesn't have a litter box."

"He has a cat?"

"Yeah. I think he and Brooke co-own it, but it lives with him. It's like a joint-custody thing."

Lorelei threw her hands up in the air. "WHAT? BROOKE?"

Chris grinned, shrugging helplessly. "They like each other, I think."

"Oh my Lord, what is happening to this world?" She shook her head. "New couples are sprouting like _rabbits."_

"Rabbits?"

"They fuck a lot."

Chris stared at her.

"Therefore, there's a lot of little rabbits, because they multiply--never mind. It made sense at the time but now it doesn't so leave me alone. Go find Gordie."

Laughing, he said goodbye and then left in search of Gordie. 

When Lorelei looked back at Teddy, he was smiling evilly. 

"Stop looking at me like that, Theodore," she growled. 

"What a charmer you are," he laughed. "And don't ever call me Theodore again."

"Oh my gosh, I just realized how dorky the name Theodore is. No wonder you go by Teddy." 

"Thank you Lorelei."

"Anytime, Teddy," she said, grinning. "Anyway, is there anything else you wanted to talk to me about? I'm hungry. It's lunchtime. I should be eating."

Teddy didn't know what to say. He wanted to tell her so many things, but he didn't know where to start or how to say it. So he just said, "Not really. I'm kinda wondering what you're planning on doing with Reese though. Are you still going to let him see you and stuff?"

"I don't know. Maybe. I don't know. I'm a big girl, Teddy, I'm not going to let him walk all over me."

"I know you're perfectly capable, but he's such a jerk, Lorelei."

She sighed heavily. "He called me beautiful, Teddy."

He looked at her in surprise. _He didn't mean it_, he wanted to yell at her. _If I could just SAY it, I would mean it!_

"I don't know what I'm going to do about him though," she told him. "Now that Anya and I have come to an understanding, it's different, but still…he really did make me feel better yesterday."

Couldn't she _tell_ that he was the one that cared about her? Reese didn't give a shit; he just wanted to get back at Chris and Anya and he didn't care about the girl that he was using to make that happen. He didn't know how funny and uniquely sweet she could be, and he sure as hell didn't know how beautiful she was. Teddy always thought she was smart--so why was she being so stupid? 

"So," he laughed. "Did he nail you yet?"

When she didn't say anything, he looked over at her with a smile, but she was just glaring at him. She shook her head contemptuously. "God, Teddy."

"Come _on_," he said desperately, grabbing her arm when she started to walk away. "It was a _joke_! A light-hearted remark! Cheerful banter!"

"I'm not laughing, am I?"

"No. You look like you want to squash my head in."

She smiled sarcastically. "Yes."

"Look, I'm sorry, all right?" he said softly. "I didn't mean anything by it. I just wish you'd forget about him."

"Why do you even _care_?" Lorelei demanded. 

"Because it's _you_," he snapped angrily.

"Um, pardon me?"

"Um, what?" He felt like puking. Why didn't he ever think before he spoke?

"We're just friends," she said, confused. "I thought we were just friends. You…oh my. Teddy?"

"I have to pee now," he blurted and darted for the bathroom. 

"Teddy, that's the ladies room," she called. 

"Son of a bitch," he muttered, and kept on walking. 

He couldn't get the look that had been on her face out of his mind. Had that been a look of _good_ horror, or _bad_ horror? "Dammit," he murmured. Sadness wasn't an emotion Teddy Duchamp liked to deal with--he was better with anger and all that good stuff. But he realized that the girl that had been starting to introduce him to other feelings, like happiness and innocence, had just made him sad. 


	16. lunch, continued

Chris waited outside while Gordie went in to devise a makeshift litter box for Cat. 

Gordie closed the front door quietly, and then tried to slink stealthily down the hall to his room. 

"Gordie?" his mother called. "Is that you, sweetie?"

"Yeah," he yelled back. 

"What are you doing home?" she asked. She came into the hall from the kitchen, drying her hands on a dishtowel. "It's only noon…right? Isn't it?"

It made him sad to think that his mom could barely keep track of what time it was. He shrugged and explained vaguely, "Ahh…I just forgot to do a few things last night."

"Oh. All right, sweetheart." She turned to walk away but then said, "Oh, about that cat."

Gordie cringed. 

"He used my house plants as a litter box."

"Oh." Gordie held back a grin. "Sorry."

"Your father wants him gone by the weekend."

Suddenly Gordie felt like that cat was his best friend in the world for some very strange reason--considering he hated the thing--and there was no way in hell his father could take her away from him like he tried to take away everything else. "Aw, come on, Ma."

"It's not up to me, Gordie."

"It's not up to him either," he said crossly. "She's mine. She followed me home. I'm keeping her."

"Gordie--"

"No, don't go and take his side!" He shrugged again, now like a little boy unable to defend himself. "My friend and I--we'll clean up any mess she made after school today, okay?"

"Which friend? You know your father doesn't always approve of your company…and he's already in a bad mood over the cat as it is."

"He'll forget about the cat," Gordie promised, knowing Cat would be the last thing on his father's mental list of things Gordie had disappointed him over when he saw who he had brought home from school. 

Vern was desperately racking his brain for a way to initialize conversation with Cassie (whom he was still following, rather stalker-like).

He spotted a piece of paper littered on the floor. He snatched it up and ran to her. "Hey, look, I think you dropped this!"

Cassie turned, her eyes filled with curious expectance. She looked at him, dropped her jaw, and then inspected the paper. "Um, no…I don't think this is mine. It's a detailed diagram of the male reproductive system."

"Oh. Must be mine," he lied. "Oh, wait, no, I didn't mean my _reproductive_ system, I meant it's my diagram."

She smiled; the first patient, amused, kind gesture he'd ever received from her. "Um, I have this fruit cup," she said, white as a sheet, holding up a little tin DeMott's fruit cup as evidence. "And I can't get it open."

"Ooh, I'm really good at that," he said excitedly, taking the fruit cup and peeling back the cover, then handing it back to her proudly. 

"Thanks," Cassie said. "Are your hands shaking?"

Vern shoved his hands into his pockets. "No." 

Cassie suddenly realized that the fact that his hands were shaking because of her was incredibly cute and almost sweet. So she panicked. "Well, nice talking to you, Vern, I have to go. Have a good day."

She couldn't get the look of surprised disappointment in his face as she turned and walked away. Brooke was right about her. No wonder she'd never had a boyfriend. 

"Hey," a low voice from behind said.

Lorelei felt a hand slide around her waist and she looked back to see Reese. "Hi," she replied softly.

"What are you doing?" he asked, kissing her cheek. 

"Eating. And I can't kiss and eat at the same time, so stop that."

"You're eating alone?"

"Mm-hmm." 

Teddy had upset her. She'd spent her entire lunch break standing exactly where he'd left her. Who the hell did he think he was, confusing her when she was already all confused? She had all these feelings--none of which made any damn sense--and then he went and made strange comments that made her think that he liked her or something. Did he like her? Or had she just misunderstood him? Maybe he was just being a good friend and trying to protect her. She didn't know. So she'd been standing outside the girls' bathroom for the past fifteen minutes just thinking and eating strawberries while people walked around her on their lunch breaks.

"You're eating alone outside the bathroom?"

"Yes."

"What, was their a sale on strawberries in there or something?" he asked, pointing to her baggie of strawberries.

"Two-for-one."

"Do you want to skip fourth period and go for a drive with me?" Reese asked her. "You know, like, ice cream and stuff would be involved and stuff?"

"Uh…" She hesitated. She immediately thought, what about Teddy? But then she thought, what _about_ Teddy? She became confused again. But she did really like ice cream. "I guess so. I have French class next, but I've already skipped like every French class this year so why start going now?"

"That's my girl," he laughed, taking her hand and leading her to the front exit. 

Teddy wished Vern wasn't on a mission for a girlfriend. They could be hanging out right now, doing absolutely nothing. But at least when you were with someone else and doing absolutely nothing, it looked cool and indifferent. Whereas when you were completely alone and doing absolutely nothing, you just looked like you had no friends. 

Lorelei must think he was the hugest dork in the world. Because he _was_ a dork. He was more than a dork. He was a loser who would never grow up to be something good…he could barely blame her for not caring less about him--but he still did. When he was around her, he wanted to be good; he wanted to be something good. He tried. How could she not be able to tell how much he tried for her?

"Hey. Can you point me to the shop room?"

Teddy turned when he felt the presence of someone standing next to him. Looking up slowly, he was rather surprised to see a tall girl in a pleated skirt, white button-up blouse, and way too much makeup. Now _this_ was the kind of girl Teddy Duchamp usually went for. 

"Yeah," he replied. "I can take you there myself."

"You think I can't follow directions?" she asked with a playful smirk. 

"Well, I don't know," he retorted. "Considering you're a _girl_ asking about the_ shop _room, I have my doubts."

She didn't appear to be offended, but her stance changed. She was probably close to four inches taller than Teddy (however, being taller than Teddy wasn't a hard feat to accomplish), and he felt a little intimidated standing next to her. There weren't too many girls that looked like her at Castle Rock High. Her hair was platinum blond with dark roots showing. His mother had always had a theory that only floozies dyed their hair. This girl certainly did _look_ like a floozy. Teddy took an immediate liking to her. 

Without any words being exchanged, they began to head off together in the direction of the workshop. 

"I'm Teddy, by the way," he told her. 

She raised an eyebrow. "We're making conversation now?"

"Look, sweetheart, I'm kindly going out of my way to take you where you need to go," he said calmly. He was highly enjoying her. 

"Did you just call me sweetheart?"

"Yes, yes I did."

She grinned. "I'm Ginny."

"Hello," he laughed. "Where are you from? I mean, you're new, right?"

Rolling her eyes, she explained, "Originally, I was living in Portland with my mom. Then I got expelled from three different schools last year, and my mom was like, 'Grr you child' and so she sent me off to live with my dad here. I started at Washington High at the beginning of this year, but then I totally accidentally set fire to a desk and I got expelled. So now I'm here, and hello."

Teddy smiled. Ginny was definitely his type. He could tell already that she was the polar opposite of Lorelei. People watched him walk down the hall with this new, strange looking girl, wondering if there was something going on between them. And he desperately wished that they were watching him in curious wonder as he walked with Lorelei--not some other girl. 


	17. The way it is

When Brooke walked into the Lachance's home after school, she had trouble breathing.

__

I shouldn't be here.

The house felt completely empty, like it had been abandoned years ago. A chill tightened the skin on the back of her neck as she felt as though she'd walked into somewhere haunted. Then she realized, the person that had kept this family alive was dead. And the survivors really were just barely more than his ghost's shadows. 

When she went home, she would be returning to be man who had killed the life of the Lachance's. 

"You okay?" Gordie asked. He'd thought she was following him down the hall to his room, but stopped when he discovered she hadn't even left the front landing. "You're not going to puke, are you?"

She smiled softly, but she was shaking and couldn't believe she'd been able to find a smile to give him. "No, I'm not going to puke."

"Well you look like you're going to puke."

Swallowing her overlapping feelings, she walked quickly to his side. She wanted to take his hand because she was feeling almost frightened. Maybe it was the fact that up and down the hall she was in were pictures of Gordie's family when they were still actually a family. Denny's smile in each of the pictures he was in was the brightest--a reminder of what they all were still missing and wishing to have back again. "I'm okay, Gordie. I just felt dizzy for a second."

"I hope you don't puke when you get dizzy."

"Err, no. I don't think I do." She laughed nervously. "Where's your cat?"

"In my room, I hope." Gordie looked over at her and smiled out of the blue.

There was a light in his eyes and it sparked something in hers. Standing in the hallway of a house haunted by the death of love, Brooke realized that she had never felt more alive. 

What the hell was he doing inviting Brooke Aarons into his bedroom? This was the daughter of the alcoholic who had killed his big brother, for God's sake. 

Suddenly something occurred to him, just as he was putting his hand on the doorknob of his door. Brooke had nothing to do with Denny's death. She had probably been sitting at home that night he had died in the wreck of metal and broken glass. Maybe she had even been doing her homework. She had cried at the funeral; he remembered that. He also remembered hating the way she shook while she cried silently because not a single tear touched his own face. 

How could the death of the person he loved most make him hate? 

There was no malice in anything Brooke did. She _tried_. She never gave up on trying to reach him, no matter how hated she must have felt. 

"Umm…" Brooke said quietly. "Are you having a private moment with your doorknob?"

"Yeah," he sighed. "But I'm done now, don't worry." He pushed opened his door and was greeted by Cat, who rubbed against his leg, purring contentedly. 

"Hi Kitty, you missed me, huh?" As an after-thought, he added, "I really wish you wouldn't do that with my leg."

Brooke beamed. "I thought you named her Cat."

"Uhh, I did."

"You called her Kitty!"

"Perhaps I _did_, but you will forget immediately that it ever happened," he laughed bashfully. 

"You love her."

Pretending to ignore her, Gordie scooped Cat up and held her out to Brooke, who smiled and took her into her arms. 

"So, you actually have _fur_ under all that dirt," she giggled. "You're almost kinda pretty for a little ragamuffin."

"Okay, Brooke. What the _hell_ is a ragamuffin?" Gordie demanded. 

"I don't know; something scruffy, maybe. My mom always calls me that when I first wake up."

He couldn't reply. It was all her fault. It was the smile on her face and the look of simply joy in her eyes as the kitten playfully batted her pale hair. It was everything about her, and it just killed him. 

Gordie's room was tidy and impersonal. There was a desk, a bureau, a bed, and a black bean bag chair, which Gordie immediately sat down on. A poster for _Invasion of the Body Snatchers _hung above his four-poster bed. 

Brooke decided that she should sit on the desk chair rather than on his bed. She was still reeling from the fact that she was in his _room_. She wasn't sure if she'd be able to sit on his _bed _and restrain herself from bursting into high-pitched giggles. 

Silence hung over the room while Gordie let Brooke play with Cat. Suddenly he heard her ask, "Why is there a life-jacket under your bed?"

He grinned. "I have drowning dreams."

Her blue eyes searched his face, waiting for him to continue his explanation, but he never did. "Good enough," she murmured with a wry smirk. "Ow. Ow. Ow!" She held Cat away from her, but her claws clung to the fabric of Brooke's white cardigan sweater. 

"Are you okay?" Gordie asked, ready to give his cat hell. 

"Yeah, your kitty was just trying to grope me, that's all."

He laughed. "So, Brooke?"

"Hum?" Her eyes were wide, blank and extra blue when she looked at him. 

"Do you want to stay for supper?"

Gordie couldn't believe himself the moment the words were out of his mouth. Why did he ask her that? His parents would have strokes and die upon seeing Brooke at the dinner table. 

Brooke looked just as surprised as he felt. 

"I get it," she said after an unbearable utter silence. 

"You get what?"

"Well, I was just thinking to myself, 'his parents will cook me and eat me when they see me,' and then it occurred to me that you're in on their evil plot and you want to…eat…me…?"

Gordie stared at her, flabbergasted. "Holy crap. For someone as smart as you are, you're surprisingly insane."

"So you don't want to eat me?"

He smiled slyly. "I hope you know my mind is permanently in the gutter, Brooke. Unless you actually want a crude and probably degrading remark from me, I suggest you refrain from inviting me to _eat_ you."

"I want not inviting. I was frightened."

"Just warning you," he said. "So, are you interested?"

"In _what?"_

"Having dinner with my happy family," he said slowly. 

"Oh." She shrugged, her fingers fiddling with the coils on one of Gordie's writing notebooks, which he had left on his desk. "Sure, I'll have supper with your family. I hate mine."

Relief flooded Gordie's mind. 

"What do your parents usually think of the girls you bring home?" Brooke asked with a cringe, knowing she wouldn't be well received by Mr. and Mrs. Lachance. 

"I guess I'll find out tonight," Gordie replied ambiguously. 

"Huh?"

"I've never really brought a girl over for them to meet," he said quietly. "Except for Anya, but she's quite different."

Brooke's normally confident voice squeaked as she asked nervously, "Why did you pick me?"

"I didn't pick you. And I don't think you picked me either. I think we're just together and that's the way it is."

Brooke watched him as his eyes drifted to a framed picture of Denny at his graduation. She wondered how he could stand to be with her when Denny was still hurting him so much. 

But they were just together and that's the way it was. 


	18. In The Closet

"What are we doing in your closet?" Lorelei whispered to Anya, although she couldn't actually see her. 

"Hiding," Anya whispered back. "Ooh, I think I just found my old diary!"

"If I could see, I would snatch it from your hands and read it, but I can't see, so therefore, I shall sit here with your hand on my thigh in the depressing darkness of your closet for no reason."

"Lorelei, that's _your_ hand on _my _thigh," she said indignantly. 

"That's not my hand," she giggled. 

Lorelei had gone over to Anya's house when school ended that day, and after they'd ransacked the kitchen, they'd gone into Anya's room, hiding in her closet. They had been in there for about a half-hour at this point. Lorelei was still unclear about the purpose of this 'in-the-closet' activity, but she had no complaints. Strange behavior like this was what the two of them had grown up doing together. 

"I'm surprised she hasn't found us yet," Anya said, sounding quite impressed. 

__

"Whooom?" Lorelei drawled. She was trying to make shadow puppets, but was not succeeding.

"Ilonka. We're playing hide and seek."

"We are?" she demanded. "Why didn't you invite_ me_ to play?"

"I did! We're playing!"

"Are we winning?"

"So far."

"We're morons," Lorelei sighed.

"Yeah…"

Suddenly the closet door burst open, and instead of seeing Ilonka's face, a grinning boy's face popped into view. Anya and Lorelei screamed and jumped up, causing clothes to fall off their hangers and onto them. "Jesus!" they yelled in unison. 

"Hello ladies," Chris laughed. "I never knew I was able to make girls jump like that."

"Quick, quick, close the door!" Anya cried, grabbing his wrist and pulling him into the closet. 

Wedging himself between the two girls on the closet floor amid the fallen blouses and pleated skirts, Chris asked casually, "What's going on?"

Before anyone could answer, the door flew open again. This time it was Ilonka's face they saw as they were bathed in unwelcome light. A smile broke out over her face, and she clutched the closet door tightly in excitement. "I find you Anna!"

Anya grumbled, never one to like losing as she climbed out of the closet. "You win, baby--go hide and I'll come and find you, okay? Hide good!" 

"Count to ten," Ilonka said, her face a mask of seriousness. 

"I'm counting," she said, and her sister stood in the middle of the room looking at her in expectance. _"ONE--"_

Giggling, Ilonka took off running from the room to hide. 

Smiling with warmth, Anya looked back at Chris and Lorelei and explained, "I'll be right back." 

"Close the door on your way out, will you?" Lorelei called, laughing as Anya obediently shut the closet door on them. 

In the pitch-blackness, Lorelei felt Chris move beside her. "Son of a--ow," he muttered. "I think I have a book up my ass."

"There's better places to keep your bathroom reading materials," she giggled. "Hey, it might be Anya's diary. Keep it so that I can read it later."

"Oh, for you, the world," he laughed, shifting around.

"What are you doing?" she asked, wondering why he was moving so much. 

"Undressing."

Lorelei involuntarily squeaked. 

"Kidding, kidding." He tossed the book he'd been sitting on in Lorelei's general direction. 

"Aaah, my eye!"

"Aaah, I'm sorry!"

"Actually, you missed me completely," Lorelei said. "I have false outbursts sometimes because I like to hear people's reactions."

Chris smiled at her, but she would never know. He cleared his throat. "So--"

"Ooh, is this story time?"

"No."

"Fuck."

He burst out laughing. 

"Go on," she sighed. 

"How does it feel to be Teddy Duchamp's first admitted FLAME?"

Lorelei moaned. "I'm not his _flame_, and where did you get that idea?"

"Apparently you were looking elsewhere at lunch today, because I've never seen Teddy look at anyone the way he was looking at you. For a minute there I thought he was gonna throw up on you because I've just never seen him look that way, but then I realized he _likes_ you."

"I thought that that was what he was saying…" She sighed, resting her chin on her knees. 

"Look, maybe you think Teddy's just crazy and that he's no good--Maybe you don't. I know you're an open-minded girl, but I also know that there aren't very many people in this town that see any hope in Teddy." Chris paused, and he could sense her waiting on him to continue. "But--obviously, if he likes a girl like you, he's _trying_. He doesn't want to end up--" He couldn't bring himself to say _like his father. "_Lorelei, drop Reese. Forget about him. He doesn't care if he breaks your heart. And that's something Teddy would never do to you."

"I think I'm in a pickle."

"No, you're not," Chris said. "Who cares about Reese's feelings right now? He doesn't care about _yours_. What do you feel for Teddy?"

"Pickle, I said," she repeated. 

"You feel for his pickle?"

Her laughter echoed in the small closet. "I just mean, it's all messy, what I'm thinking and what I'm feeling. I can easily cut things off with Reese. But…I can't just shut off my feelings for…" She wanted to say "you," but she just couldn't, not even when he couldn't see her blush. 

Chris tousled her hair. "It's okay, kid."

"I don't think I'll be sleeping tonight."

"A lot of sex is to be had?"

"Yes," she lied, and then cackled. "But no. Now I'm all thinking about Teddy and whatnot and I won't be able to sleep."

"You _do_ like him," he teased, poking her in the side. 

"I don't _know!"_

"Hahaha you want on."

"I haven't spent all night debating the Teddy issue, therefore I do not know if I want ON."

"What's with you and the word 'therefore?'"

"Doesn't it make me sound smart?"

"Like a mad scientist."

The closet door opened, Anya flew in, and then it closed again. "Shhhh," she hissed. "We're hiding again."

"This isn't a very original hiding spot, Anya," Lorelei told her. "And besides, once you come out of the closet, you cannot just come back in." 

"Ilonka doesn't seem to mind my unoriginal hiding spots. And I'm ignoring your in the closet joke, if you can't tell." She sounded breathless. "What were you guys doing to keep yourselves occupied?"

"Confiscating your diary and talking about boys," Chris replied. 


	19. Just Love Him

"Mom," Gordie called, walking cautiously into the kitchen where the smell of pot roast was drifting. "Is it okay that I invited a friend over for supper? Will there be enough?"

"Of course, sweetie," she replied. 

As he slipped back down the hall to where he'd left Brooke hiding in his room, he felt pretty confident. His mom seemed to be in a good mood. Of course, his father was a different story, but he was never in a good mood, so Gordie didn't care and he wouldn't let him get to him. 

Brooke looked scared, almost. She was fiddling with the hem of her skirt and trying her best to smile. 

"Come on," he said softly. "Time to face the firing squad."

"What if they don't like my clothes?" she hissed, following him. 

"You dress like my mother." _Odd_, Gordie thought to himself. _That sounded better in my mind then when I said it out loud. _

"What if they don't like blondes?"

"Oh, don't worry. They'll be able to tell that you're not a natural blonde," he teased. 

Giggling, she slapped his shoulder. "Thank you, Gordie."

"Just reassuring you, Brooke." He grinned. 

"Hey, Mom, I want you to meet my friend," Gordie said quietly. "Mama, this is Brooke."

Mrs. Lachance turned around slowly, a dull, dead look in her large brown eyes. Her voice shook as she said hello politely. She eyed Brooke with a repressed fear and then she told them, "You…Gordie, you can sit in Denny's place tonight and…Brooke, is it?"

"Yes ma'am," Brooke murmured. 

Gordie looked at her. He'd never seen her without her shield of composure before then. And he'd never seen her as a beautiful until then. 

It was too quiet at the table. The lack of conversation was worse than usual to Gordie. He was about to tell his parents that Brooke's teachers were already sending out letters of recommendation to Ivy League schools because he thought that might impress them and start a conversation. But when he looked up, his father wasn't eating and his mother had tears in her eyes. 

"Mom," he said quietly and helplessly. 

"Is--is the meat cooked through well enough?" she whispered, always trying to be the good hostess. 

"It's great, Ma, what's _wrong?"_ he pleaded. 

"Nothing, honey."

"Is it because of Brooke?"

Brooke clutched her napkin in a death grip on her lap. "Please, Gordie--"

"Shut up, Brooke," he told her harshly but not meanly. "Tell her to go home then if she's bothering you that badly, Mom."

"Gordon, that's enough," Mr. Lachance growled. It was the first time he'd spoken since he'd laid eyes on Brooke. 

"Maybe you can explain to her why her very presence causes you to shut down," Gordie said. "Because of her last name, you see her, and the only thing you can feel is hate. Explain to her why you hate her so much, because I can't, and she doesn't understand!"

"If only your brother Denny were still around," Mr. Lachance said, shooting a glare at Brooke. "You would have a role model and you wouldn't be going around with such little respect for your parents--who, believe me, only stick around for _you_."

"Stuck around? I didn't need a _presence_, I needed _parents!"_

"You're upsetting your mother, Gordon," he said. 

"It's not my fault that she can't get a life!"

"She just misses Denny! But I wouldn't expect you to understand, you selfish little shit. Denny never would have--"

"Denny's dead!" Brooke cried. 

"Because of your father!" he roared. 

"I've never been able to forgive him, because he didn't even try to change. So I could never dream that you'd be able to either." Brooke's poise was back, but for once, her confidence was both real and brave. "But you have to forgive Gordie. It's not his fault that Denny died. Do not _blame _him for being the other son. He's tried so hard to please you, but you don't care and you've been breaking his heart ever since he was a little boy!"

"How dare you pass judgement on my family?" Mr. Lachance demanded. 

"He's all you have! Have you ever _listened_ to him or tried to know him? Just love him! It's not hard to do!"

"Get out of my house," he said, standing up. 

Gordie and Brooke stood up at the same time. She was ready to retreat and he was bristling with defense. "Just because you don't want to hear the truth, it doesn't give you the right to talk to her like this! You don't know her, you don't want to know her, just like you've never given a shit about me and you never will!"

"It disgusts me that you can claim to respect your brother when you invite _her_ into _his _home and--"

"Fuck you!" Gordie yelled. He felt a twinge of pain when his mother burst into tears, but for once he didn't hate himself. 

"Who the hell do you think you are?" he shouted, taking a step around the table so he was in Gordie's face. 

"Hit me," Gordie said quietly. "Do a little more damage, Dad--just hit me, dammit!"

The father and son stood, staring heatedly at each other. Neither of them would ever be able to say all they were thinking, but they both knew that. 

Gordie brushed by him, leaving Brooke standing alone. Through the whirlwind he was feeling, he managed to see the panic on her face and grabbed her arm, dragging her to his room. 

"Gordie, oh my God," she cried, shaking visibly. Gordie slammed the door behind them. "I'm sorry! My God, I'm so sorry!"

"It's okay." He grabbed his backpack. "That went surprisingly well, actually."

"No…" She wanted to cry, and she couldn't even look at him. 

"Brooke." He looked at her, holding her by the elbow. "Don't worry about it. I've needed to do that for years. Thanks for sticking up for me."

She nodded, the focussed on his bag. "May I ask what the fuck you're doing?"

"I told him. I warned him. If he ever accused me of not respecting Denny again, I'd be gone. I'm done with his shit, Brooke."

The look on Brooke's face softened. 

Gordie shoved a bunch of random clothes into his backpack. "Will you grab Cat for me, Brooke?"

Wordlessly, she picked the tabby up, cradling her. Cat seemed to understand how upset she was, because she snuggled into her arms. 

"You leave first, okay?" he said. "I'll be right behind you, but you have to go first."

Brooke walked ahead of him, never looking back until she reached the front door. Then she looked at him for direction. 

"It's okay. Go," he told her quietly. 

When she slipped out the door, he slung his bag over one shoulder, put his hand on the door and called, "I gotta go. I love you, Mama."


	20. But Not Tonight

"Is something wrong, Fred?" Nicholas, the oldest of the four Lane siblings asked. 

Lorelei looked up at her brother tiredly as he sat down on the couch next to her later that night. "Please don't call me Fred."

"Fred suits you more than Lorelei," he laughed. "Come on. There's something wrong."

"Why do you assume something's wrong?" she stalled. 

"You're trying to eat yogurt without a spoon by sucking it…and you're watching a blank TV…and you're sighing…and you smell like smoke…"

"I do not smell like smoke." Lorelei discreetly smelled her sweater. She did indeed smell like an ashtray. 

"You only actually light your cigarettes and try to smoke them like a normal person when you're worried about something," he reminded her. 

"Niko, you know me too well and it pisses me off," she growled at him. 

"I'll tickle you."

"I'll yell 'INCEST!!!' And Mom will throw you in jail."

"That would never happen. She condones illegal and immoral acts."

"Dammit, that's right…" Lorelei sighed heavily for about the eighteenth time in the past hour. "Leave me alone anyway before I kill you, Niko."

Niko smiled. "Lori likes a BOY!" he sang loudly in a screechy voice. "MOM! Lorelei said she's pregnant! Can we disown her?!"

Lorelei screamed, threw her yogurt container at him and ran down the hall in the direction of her room. 

"What's wrong with you, kid?" Ingrid Duchamp asked her son at supper. Propping his elbow up on the table, he had his chin resting on his hand while he stared, disinterested, at his plate. 

"Nothing," Teddy muttered. 

"Get your elbows off the table."

He looked at her when her eyes were averted to her food. Every night was like this. It was just the two of them now, and every night there was a huge emptiness between them. Maybe deep down, they might give a shit about each other, but on the surface they were complete strangers with the same last name, tied together by the same man. 

Teddy gulped his milk down, then set the glass down on the dilapidated table with a loud sound that got her attention. "I got homework to do."

Mrs. Duchamp knew that that was a lie. Shop courses didn't give out homework because the kind of kids that enrolled in those classes would never do it. But she just shrugged, reached for her cigarette package from the centre of the table and slid one out with a bony hand. "Scrape what you didn't eat into the dog's dish."

He did as he was asked, and then trampled down the creaky uncarpeted stairs to his bedroom. 

Once he'd closed the door, he took a flying leap at his bed, landing with his face in the pillow. 

"Aaaaaaaaaaauughh…ggggghhh…." he groaned into the pillow. 

Lorelei found herself sitting on her bathroom counter, wearing shorts and the shirt she had originally lent Teddy before he'd overflowed the toilet. 

It still smelled like toilet in there rather than peaches, but for some reason, she found it easier to think about Teddy in her bathroom. 

Teddy was absolutely insane; she knew that. But everyone was absolutely insane. Some people were just insane a little louder than others were. Besides, normal people annoyed her. Something about Teddy worried her though. She could tell underneath all the craziness, that he was just a little boy--a little boy with secrets and pain. And she didn't know if she would ever be strong enough to know his secrets or his pain. 

Lorelei found a bottle of red nail polish, and set to painting her toe nails. 

Reese, on the other hand, was less hard to read. She knew his motives. She knew the way his mind worked. All you had to do was think in the vilest way possible, and you would be thinking like Reese. When he came up to her though, there was some definite butterfly action in her stomach happening. He was tall and hot and blond and his smile was irresistible and he said all the right things…

Teddy was nothing like Reese. 

"Shit," she whispered as she realized she'd just gotten nail polish on the bathroom wall. She ripped off a wad of toilet paper, ran it under water, and then rubbed at the wall. "Shit," she said again as the cherry-red paint rubbed off with the nail polish, leaving a large bleached white stain. 

Jumping off the counter and forgetting about her lame-ass guy problems, she searched through her drawers for some nail polish that would match the shade of the paint that was no longer on the wall. 

Then, it occurred to her that this was something Teddy would probably find very humourous and she wished he were there with her to enjoy this.

There was no way in hell some girl he barely knew was going to make Teddy this fucking miserable. 

There were prettier girls in the world, that was for sure. She could be vulgar and crass and temperamental, and her mood swings were worse than a roller coaster. Half the time her socks didn't even match. 

But there wasn't any other girl in the world like her--at least not the world he knew. He loved how vulgar she was, and when she was having a mood swing, he actually wanted to be there for her, and since when did Teddy Duchamp ever feel like _that?_ And he kinda thought her mismatched socks were cute. 

What was he doing, moping around his room over a girl? Tomorrow, he decided, he'd work on forgetting about her. He wasn't supposed to feel this way. Tonight, however, she would be all he would think about. 


	21. Sleeping on the Couch

"Oh shit," Chris groaned, catching a glance of the clock on the wall of the Berkowitz' kitchen. He had stayed longer when Lorelei went home, and he'd had supper with her insanely loud family. 

Anya looked up in surprise from her dish of leftover borscht. "Cheer up. Have some borscht."

"Keep your borscht away from me. I politely ate some because your mother was staring at me, but honestly, I have seen tastier looking things in toilets. Thank you anyway." He stood up uneasily from the table. "I have to go. It's already five minutes past nine and my dad is going to kill me."

"Seriously?" she asked. "Crap. And you walked over here, didn't you? So you don't have your truck. I'll go get my brother to drive you home, okay?"

Chris nodded mutely. His jaw was clenched and he looked pissed. Anya reached across the table and ran her hand through his hair, the same way he'd seen her do with Ilonka. She quickly put her half-eaten borscht into the refrigerator and then left the kitchen in search of her brother. 

As seconds ticked by on the clock, Chris' hands began to sweat and shake with a familiar, dulling fear. He had a feeling he wouldn't even be able to make it to school tomorrow. Even if he tried to explain to his father where he'd been, he'd still get the shit whaled out of him. Mr. Chambers, of course, didn't approve of immigrants like Anya's parents. Nothing would ever pacify that man. No matter what he did, it was wrong, even if he did exactly as he was told. Everything was either not enough and he was just lazy or it was too much and he was trying to show up his family. He was so tired of having to go home where everything hurt. 

Anya came back, a small smirk on her face. "We're lucky you made a good first impression on my brother. He was in his room with his girlfriend of the week and they were rather busy, but he said he could drive you if we'll just give him a moment to…make himself presentable."

Chris smiled. "I can relate. After awhile in my house, I learned to just stay out of my brother's room at all times because I usually would just end up walking in on frightening scenes."

"I thought you said you used to share a room with Eyeball?"

"I did. Sleeping on the couch spared my innocence."

She laughed, then watched with amusement in her eyes as twenty-one-year-old Stefan walked past them to the back door. "You just left poor Lisa in your room?"

"I'll be back," Stefan replied dryly. He already had his shoes on. "Are you coming, Anya?"

"No, I'm just breathing heavily," she retorted, not missing a beat. 

"I tire of your sexual innuendoes."

"Ohh," Chris laughed. "I get it."

Anya laughed with him, suddenly struck by his naiveté. Chris Chambers had seen too much in his seventeen years, but still, she thought, his innocence was both breathtaking and tragic. 

"The…wheels on the bus go round and--"

Anya slapped Stefan brutally across the head. "Stop singing! I'm losing friends!"

"Oh, silly Anya," Stefan said, patting her arm. "It's your smell that's costing you companionship."

"I smell? When did I start smelling?"

"Sometime last week."

Laughing, Anya rested her head against her window. 

Chris watched from the backseat. Anya's family was psychotic, but why couldn't he have something like this? Tossing insults back and forth in his home were meant to hurt, and they usually resulted in black eyes. He'd never experienced this kind of teasing, where they didn't mean it. He was suddenly overwhelmed by sadness and a weight he'd felt all his life as he wished with every prayer he had that Stefan wouldn't take him home; that he'd just keep driving and he'd never have to not be okay again. 

"Let's think of another song," Stefan said, slapping his sister's knee. "How about…hmm."

"How about I sell your nuts to a needy eunuch?"

"Are you threatening me?"

"I'm promising you."

"How can you be friends with this kid?" Stefan asked, looking back at Chris. "Has she sold your nuts yet?"

"Bartered," Chris replied.

"Tsk, Anya, tsk."

"It's the second house on the left side here," Chris told him quietly. The front door was wide open. He could hear his father yelling at someone. "Thanks for the ride, Stefan. I'll see you tomorrow, okay, Anya?"

"Chris--" Anya looked back at him, a wordless plea in her eyes. She didn't want him to intercept his father's anger.

"I really should be getting inside," he told her. Always the scapegoat.

But he couldn't move. His hand touched the cold metal of the door handle, but he couldn't move. 

"Ice cream," Stefan announced. "That's what we need, is some ice cream."

"I have to go," Chris murmured. 

Anya squeezed his hand. "No, you don't. You don't have to go home to this."

"But I'll be in trouble, Anya--"

"Remember how you said sleeping on the couch always spared your innocence?" She smiled. "Well, our couch is free tonight."

Upon seeing Brooke enter the house carrying a fur ball of some sort, followed by Gordie, Reese broke out into a large smile. He yelled, "Hey, Mom! Brooke brought home another stray! Oh, and she has a cat too."

"Oh, look, it's my laughing face," Brooke said sarcastically. She walked past him and went in search of her mother. 

"Hey Lachance," Reese said as the two of them stood alone, silently assessing each other. "What the hell are you doing here, man?"

"Brooke invited me," Gordie replied. 

"Woah," Reese said in amazement. "I thought you despised us. _Especially_ Brooke."

"I barely know you. I can't really despise what I don't know. Although, on a side note, you could stand to be a little nicer to Chris. Anyway, but I do know Brooke, and I definitely don't despise her."

Reese smirked. "So that's why you're here at 10 o'clock at night."

"No, you retard, that's not why I'm here," Gordie said, his eyebrows deepening. "If we were gonna do that, we'd have done it already, considering we were alone in a tree house for the past four hours."

"Doing it in a tree house," Reese said appreciatively. "I'll be adding that to my to-do list."

"I wish you the best of luck."

"Mama," Brooke said, locating her mom in the laundry room, ironing a blouse. "Is it okay if my friend spends the night here? Family troubles."

"Yeah, sure," Glynis Aarons replied. "Is that a cat?"

"Keen eye, Mom."

Mrs. Aarons raised an eyebrow. 

"She belongs to the friend."

"Who's this alleged friend?"

"Oh--just somebody from school."

"Do her parents know she's safe?"

"Uh…_yes_."

"Brooke," Mrs. Aarons said in a warning tone.

"It's not a she-friend," Brooke muttered. 

"I just gave you permission to let a he-friend spend the night?" she shrilled. 

"You most certainly did."

Glaring at her daughter, Mrs. Aarons said, "I don't want him within ten feet of your bedroom, Missy Is that clear?"

"Crystal."

"Hey," Gordie said, relieved when Brooke finally returned. He and Reese had been watching the Partridge Family together. Bonding with the Aarons family was strange.

"Hello," Brooke said back. "I brought blankets."

"Ooh," Reese said, grinning. "Sounds cozy, Brooke. I'd better be leaving now."

"Yes, your absence would be much appreciated." Brooke gave him a sweet, sardonic look as he went down the hall to his room. She spread the blanket over the loveseat without a word, seemingly unaware that Gordie was watching her. "There you go. There's more blankets if you get cold, so just ask. My mom said you're supposed to stay away from my room, but she's just crazy so I ignore her. My room is at the end of the hall upstairs. Follow the sound of Reese's snoring and my room will be right next to his. And just so you know, my dad's out of town for the week, so everything's okay."

Gordie looked at her solemnly. "Thank you, Brooke."

"You're welcome."

"I mean, you're going through so much trouble for me--"

Brooke silenced him with a sharp look. "Gordie, you know that you aren't any trouble to me."

He smiled. "Goodnight, Brooke."

Cat, who was lying at her feet, was picked up by Brooke and handed to Gordie. "Have a good sleep. I'll help you sort everything out in the morning."

As she was walking away, he called, "Brooke?"

She turned around. "Yeah?"

The words he'd wanted to say escaped his mind as soon as their eyes met. "Never mind. Um, just watch out for bed bugs. Did you know that bed bugs bark enthusiastically when they smell human flesh? I read that somewhere. It's true."

The smile she gave him would stay with him all night. 

"Hey kid," Reese said quietly as Brooke passed his door on her way to her room. "You look like you're floating."

Giving him an uncharacteristically affectionate look, Brooke shrugged. "I do feel slightly dizzy."

"What happened with Gordie? Because in my life, I've always known two things: Penguins can't fly and the Lachances hate the Aarons."

"I really don't know why, but Gordie's giving me a chance. His parents, on the other hand, I think almost died when they saw me tonight at their house." A sad look crossed her face. "So he's staying here tonight because of some things they said to him."

"About you?" he demanded.

"No, none of the things he and his dad said to each other had anything to do with me. I was just kind of a catalyst."

"Are you two going out?" Reese asked suddenly. 

"No."

"Do you like him?"

"Yes."

"Does he like you?"

"Are you kidding?" she asked. She shook her head and went to her room.


	22. Good Morning

5:50 AM

Brooke brutally attacked her alarm clock. The shrill ringing persisted in her sleepy mind. She growled at the clock and muttered, "Oh, screw you." 

It was still dark outside, for God's sake. 

6:01

It took Lorelei an extra minute to drag herself out of bed. As she staggered into the hallway to go have a shower, she spotted her sister at the other end of the hall. They stopped, stared at each other, then made a mad dash for the bathroom. 

Lorelei screamed with anger as Aurora skidded into the bathroom and slammed the door. "Damn your long legs, you goddamn GRASSHOPPER!"

6:19

Cassie jerked awake with a start. She'd slept in over an extra hour. 

6:28

Anya entered the kitchen for breakfast. She was surprised to see Chris already half finished his scrambled eggs, sitting between Ilonka and her twenty-year-old sister Natalia. 

"Morning, Anya," Natalia said cheerfully. 

"Good morning," she replied, sitting down across from Chris. They smiled. "Did you sleep okay? I know that couch is kinda squeaky. And bumpy."

"I slept like a log," he told her. 

"Hey Anya, we've decided to trade you for Chris," Natalia said. "_He_ can make toast."

"Yep. I can. Very well, too." Chris nudged the plate stacked with slices of buttered toast towards Anya. "Eat."

6:35

"I have to get an education earlier than you do! Your first class doesn't start until nine!"

The water was turned off momentarily, and Aurora said calmly, "You have your own bathroom, Lorelei. It's not my fault that you made it smell like nail polish remover and it nauseates you."

"If you do not get out of the shower, I'll tell Mom and Dad that you're failing beauty school," Lorelei warned. 

Aurora snorted with laughter and turned the water back on. 

"Get out of the SHOWER!" Lorelei yelled, pounding on the bathroom door. 

"Stop yelling, Lorelei," Mrs. Lane yelled. 

"Aurora's being EVIL!" she yelled. 

"Stop YELLING!"

6:37

Wearing a slip, Cassie flipped frantically through her closet. She didn't know why, but she'd dreamt about that stupid Vern guy, and he was on her mind when she'd woken up. Now he was on her mind while she tried to pick something out to wear. For some reason, she just wanted to look nice for him. What the hell was that all about?

"Cassandra, sweetie, are you up?" Mr. Grey called, opening her bedroom door. 

Cassie jumped. "Dad! I'm half-naked!"

"Ahh, sorry, sorry!"

"Are you going to _close_ the door?" she demanded. She quickly slipped a burgundy blouse over her shoulders. 

"Yes, I'm sorry, sweetheart. Oh, and by the way, that shirt thing you're wearing makes you look very smart."

"Dad. I'm still half-naked. That means you should stop being in here."

"Oh, right. Sorry." He smiled sheepishly and shut her door. 

Scowling, she crossed her room and looked at herself in the full-length mirror. The blouse did make her look smart. Smart and stuck up. She'd never had a boy in mind to want to look nice for. She'd also never wished she had a mother around to show her how to be pretty.

6:41

Aurora finally emerged from the shower. 

"Cow," Lorelei snapped. 

She smiled, wringing out some of the water from her white-blond hair. "Goodness, I never made you out to be such a personal hygiene crusader, Lorelei."

"Shut up. I'm going to freeze off vital body parts because you took up all the hot water and I hate you."

"Run along, chickadee," she said, using her maddening nickname for the younger sister. "You're going to need to really scrub to cleanse yourself fully if you want that Teddy character to realize you're alive."

"Oh MY Lord." Lorelei stared at her. "I might very well kill you. How do you know about Teddy?"

"I read your diary."

She screeched and dove at her throat. 

Aurora screamed, "Are you _trying_ to rip off my towel?!"

"NO I am TRYING to KILL YOU!"

"And I quote: 'I'm just trying to figure out how Teddy feels about me, but at the same time, I'm realizing how much _I_ feel--'"

"Shut up!"

"Do you know how close you are to committing incest, you molester? Get your hand off my chest."

"I'm not trying to commit incest, I'm trying to commit fratricide, you bitch! And my hand is nowhere near your chest, you just WISH it were!"

"Oh yes. Yes, yes. I just cannot resist your beguiling ways. Now stop pretending that I'm Teddy and go take a shower."

7:20

Gordie's eyelashes flittered with the softness of a dream. One hand was tucked under his chin while his other arm was splayed above his head. He'd kicked his blankets off during the night sometime and he'd brought his legs up, tucking them in closer to his body for warmth. 

Brooke hated to wake him. She'd never watched a boy sleep before, and she realized with a sinking, floating sensation that she'd just fallen head over heels. 

Though she would have loved to watch how peaceful he was for longer, she reached out and softly touched his arm. "Gordie," she said. "It's twenty after seven. Reese wants to leave by quarter to eight."

He opened his eyes slowly. It took him a few moments to focus on her, and when he did, he shut his eyes again. "Christ. So it wasn't all a dream."

She smiled. "Good morning, sunshine."

He smiled back, sleepily. "Yes, good morning, Brooke."

Standing up, she said, "Get up. I don't want to be late for school."

7:30

Teddy woke up. He still had his glasses on, and he was wearing what he'd worn yesterday. Apparently he had fallen asleep while moping about Lorelei. 

Lorelei. Goddamn Lorelei. He had fallen asleep with the idea of forgetting about her. If he went to school today, that would never happen. 

So he rolled over and went back to sleep. 

7:56

Reese squeezed into a tight parking space. 

"Reese," Brooke said. "I can't open my door."

"Why? Are you handicapped? Gordie, man, maybe you can help her. You know how girls are."

"You parked too close to the car next to us!"

Reese shrugged. "I have enough room on my side. You figure something out. I know you're smart, Brookie."

8:12

Vern sat on his porch, waiting for Teddy. Usually Teddy picked him up at eight, but now that he'd broken his truck, they walked together. School started in eight minutes. 

He looked down at his neatly pressed trousers and properly buttoned shirt. There was no way he was going to miss school today. He was looking good. Even _Cassie_ would see that. 

"Billy?" he called, getting up and running into the house. "Mom! Will you wake Billy up and make him drive me to school?"

8:13

Mr. Lane dropped Lorelei off a block away from the school, according to her wishes. 

8:15

Stefan dropped Anya and Chris off at the front of the school. 

8:16

Anya and Lorelei found each other. 

"Oh my God!" Anya cried. 

"Oh my God too!" Lorelei said. 

"Guess who slept at my house last night!"

"Guess who I killed this morning!"

They laughed, and started walking together in the direction of first period Social class. 

"I'm guessing you killed a family member," Anya said. "Probably Aurora, since you two hate each other's souls."

"And I'm guessing Chris!"

They giggled wildly. Then they stopped. 

"Wait," they said in unison. "Why?"

Anya grinned. "You first. Why did Aurora have to die this time?"

"Because she read my diary and found out that I like Teddy."

"I thought you liked Chris!" she yelled. 

"I did! I do! But kinda like a big brother now."

"So…what are you going to do about Teddy?"

"I have no clue." She grinned. "Why did Chris spend the night, or dare I ask?"

"He just needed a place to stay."

"Right, right. 'I've lost my bed, can I sleep with you?'"

Laughing, Anya looked over at her. "Oh, shut up, Lorelei. Hahahahaha, Lorelei DUCHAMP."

"Shut up!"

8:18

Gordie slid into his seat next to Chris in Health class. He looked at the clock, saw that there was still a few minutes left to talk, and said, "Holy _shit_."

Chris nodded in agreement. "Definitely holy shit. What's _your_ holy shit about?"

"You wouldn't believe where I slept last night."

"Holy shit! Well, I know you didn't sleep at Anya's, because that's where I slept," Chris replied matter-of-factly. 

"What? Atta boy, Chambers!"

"Thanks. My father's probably shitting bricks, but it was worth it, sleeping on her couch."

Chuckling, Gordie put his hand out, palm up. "Skin it, man."

Chris did, then asked, "What about you?"

"Brooke's."

His eyes widened. "You are so weird."

"Thanks. I know."

"What's with you two?"

"At the risk of sounding after-school-special, we kind of take care of each other."

Chris looked worried. "What happened?"

"I left home, Chris."

"You did fucking what?"

"That house was killing me." He lowered his voice to a near growl. "They took one look at her and they just hated her. They don't think I care about Denny because I care about _her_. And it's been almost five years of not being anything and I'm fucking sick of it. There's nothing wrong with me, is there?"

"No, there isn't."

"It's just them that think that, right?"

"It's just them, yeah, Gordie. They treat you bad, I know. But Gordo, you're gonna have to go home."

"God, I know." He shrugged. "Can I tell you something cheesy?"

"Uh, sure."

"Brooke was the first thing I saw when I woke up this morning…"

"Lucky bastard."

"It made me feel like I was home."

[Author's Note: Sorry, I'm listening to Feels Like Home by Chantal Kreviazuk, and it just kinda reminded me of Gordie, so I apologize for the cheesiness.]

8:19

Brooke watched Cassie enter the Advanced Chemistry lab. Somehow, she looked different. Maybe because her hair was curled out at the ends, instead of lying flat and dull. Or maybe it was the cotton candy pink blouse. Whatever it was, she actually looked pretty. 

They had taken to sitting together in their mutual classes. When Cassie sat down, Brooke said, "You look like you give a shit for once."

"For once, I do."

"You're late. Usually you get here like ten minutes before the bell."

"Yes, well, I slept in. I guess I was having a good dream."

Brooke grinned, but kept her mouth shut.

8:20

The bell rang. 


	23. Borscht, Brownies and Fruit Cups

"Look, Brooke's mommy gave me brownies," Gordie told Chris proudly. They were sitting at their usual table at lunch in the small cafeteria. 

"Anya's mom gave me borscht," Chris sighed. "Bless her heart but not her recipes."

Gordie looked at him with pity. "Here, take a brownie."

__

"One brownie? She packed you eight!"

"Take the goddamn brownie before I eat it, Chambers."

Rolling his eyes, he muttered a thank you and stuck the brownie in his mouth. It was a very good brownie. 

"Chris, I think we took the wrong lunches," Anya announced, approaching the table with Lorelei. She sat down next to Chris. "I asked for borscht and got peanut butter and jelly."

"God bless your mother," Chris said, swapping paper bags with her. 

"Give me back my brownie!" Gordie yelled. 

"I licked it!" Chris cackled. 

"Go to hell."

They grinned at each other. 

"Hey, Lie, I'll give you a banana if you let me have your celery sticks," Anya offered, looking at her friend hopefully. "You like bananas."

"I'm pissed off," Lorelei responded, taking the banana. 

"Why?"

"Because Teddy never showed up today."

"Dammit, Lorelei, you are the most confusing girl in the world," Gordie observed. "Since when do you like Teddy?"

She glared at him. "Eat your friggen brownies, Lachance."

Brooke sat down beside Gordie suddenly, and they all looked up in shock when they saw an equally surprised Vern was with her. Neither Brooke nor Vern ever sat with their group. 

Brooke felt Gordie staring at her. She raised her eyebrows questioningly. 

He shook his head. "Oh, nothing."

"Do you like the brownies?" she asked. 

"Oh Lord," Gordie moaned. "I want to marry your mother."

"Gross. However, she seems to have loved you in return, because she gave you like a dozen brownies and I only got two."

"Eight. Not a dozen. I got eight. And I gave one to Chris."

"Unwillingly," Chris added. 

Gordie dumped his brownies on the table, spreading them out and counting them. "So, I have four left." He slid on brownie over to her. "Now we both have three. There will be no more complaining."

Chris chucked the crust he had peeled off his sandwich at Gordie's head. 

Gordie glared back. 

"Brownie whore," Chris grumbled. 

Lorelei sat up straight abruptly. "Hey! Vern, right?"

Vern looked at her in fear. "I don't think I'm allowed to talk to you."

She exclaimed, "Why?"

"Because Teddy would kill me."

Anya and Chris agreed in unison, "Ooooh."

"Is he here today though?" Lorelei asked. 

"No, he never showed up this morning."

"Cassie!" Brooke called. 

Cassie looked less involved in her thoughts when she heard someone say her name. 

"Over here," Brooke said. 

Smiling with relief, Cassie head over to her. She rarely had time to eat in the cafeteria, but today she didn't have any extra homework or anything to do. She had gone into the lunchroom, unable to find any of her friends, until Brooke yelled to her. 

Then she saw Vern sitting across the table from Brooke. She almost stopped dead in her tracks, but then she regained some composure and sat next to him, because Brooke decided to be a bitch and set her bag on the bench so that Cassie couldn't sit beside her. "You're the craftiest person I have ever met," she growled. 

Brooke smiled, "I'm touched."

She wasn't trying to be crafty; she just thought she should kill two birds with one stone. She wanted to sit with Gordie, and she wanted Cassie to sit with Vern. She knew that Vern, Gordie and Chris used to hang out, so she found him in the hall and dragged him into the lunchroom with her. He had seemed flabbergasted, and she didn't really blame him. She figured she wouldn't feel too out of place if she approached their table with another person who happened to be an old friend of Gordie's. Cassie and she were becoming friends, and would probably have no objections to sitting with her. And since Vern would be there, it all worked very nicely.

Vern said, "Hi, Cassie."

Tearing her evil glare from Brooke, she turned to him and said, "Hi Vern."

"Do you have any fruit cups you need me to open today?"

She reached into her lunch and pulled out a fruit cup, handing it to him. "Yes please…and thanks."

"Goddammit you dropped borscht on the table and it's inching towards me!" Chris exclaimed. 

Anya laughed. "It's coooooming for you!"

"Shut up! Don't even joke about that!"

"I agree, Chris. Borscht should be buried and then blown up and outlawed," Lorelei said. "Toxic vomit, I've always called it."

"I am telling my mother that none of my friends are very appreciative of the meals she prepares for them," Anya giggled. 

While everyone around them was talking about fruit cups and Polish vomit, Brooke looked over at Gordie. "What are you doing after school?"

"Eating more of your brownies?" he asked. 

"So, you're coming home?"

The word home seemed to startle him.

"I meant, with me. I meant, are you coming home with me?"

Gordie was suddenly overcome with an urge to take her hand. She had not-too-slender hands; piano hands, his mother called them. 

He nodded. "I wanna go home with you." 

There was a moment then, where they just looked at each other. The hell with everyone else at the table--they didn't care. When the intensity of the look caused Brooke to blush and bite her lip nervously, Gordie couldn't handle it, so he grabbed her last brownie and stuck the entire thing in his mouth. 

"Gordie!" she screeched. "Spit it out! Spit it out! That's _mine!"_

Gordie laughed hysterically while he chewed with some difficulty. Perhaps shoving a whole brownie in his mouth hadn't been very wise. He just continued to laugh, however, and cower while she attacked him. 

Despite her sadness of the stolen baked goods, Brooke smiled and kind of giggled. "Gordie, just chew before you choke and die, you little shit."

Chris cocked his head at a comedic angle and said, "This is very sweet, really. It's like watching newlyweds."

"Eat me, Chris," Brooke said. "At least we don't act like an old married couple like you and Anya." She looked down at her food. "Oh my God, Gordie, did you eat my sandwich?"

"No. Technically, I'm still eating it." He smiled at her impishly. "You eat too slow. It's your own fault."

"So, my brother Billy's having a party this weekend for Halloween, do you guys want to come?" Vern asked. 

"Why are you addressing the whole table while staring at me?" Cassie asked. 

"Uhh…I don't really have an answer for that," he stammered. 

Instead of being frightened and repulsed, Cassie just smiled eagerly. "It sounds good to me."


	24. Matches

While Teddy was at school the next day, this time, Chris wasn't. Anya and Lorelei sat, mixing their lumpy cookie batter in Home Ec, both of their thoughts preoccupied.

"What do I do?" Lorelei asked, grabbing a chunk of cookie dough and popping it in her mouth. "I mean, do I go up to him at lunch and be like, 'hey baby, let's get it on' or something? What do I do?"

"Well, I wouldn't use the 'let's get it on' line," Anya advised thoughtfully. "And it does not work if you keep eating the cookie dough."

"But I like the cookie dough," she whined, hesitantly putting the dough she was about to eat back in the mixing bowl. 

"Ooh, that looks really good," Patricia Watkins, a shy redhead in most of Anya's classes, said. She looked for permission silently, and then took a fingerful, eating it as she walked away. 

Staring angrily at Anya, Lorelei snapped, "How come you're not biting her head off? You like her better, don't you?"

"Of course I do," Anya replied. "She's not a raging psychotic."

"You have not seen me rage psychotically."

"Sure, I have."

"No, you haven't."

"You're always raging psychotically."

"You wouldn't like me when I'm angry."

"You're right. I don't." 

Lorelei grinned playfully and lunged for her. In the process, she knocked over the mixing bowl full of cookie dough. "Ah, dammit! Look what you made me do!"

"I hope you die a fiery death!"

"I hope you get mauled by mutant squirrels!"

"Lorelei," Anya cooed, a smirk finding its way to her face. Lorelei continued to frown. "I love you."

Lorelei glared at her but then burst out into giggles. "I'm really sad!"

"Back to the cookies! We have to make more cookie dough, thanks to you and your psychoness." While she busied herself dumping the fallen cookie dough into the trash can, she looked up at Lorelei and asked, "Why are you really sad?"

"Because--wait, what's wrong with the stuff on the floor?"

"That's gross, Lorelei."

"What is?"

Anya grinned. "Nothing. Anyway. Sadness. You. Why?"

"Oh right. Because of Teddy."

"For the love of Pete." Anya wiped her hands on her apron. "Lie, the dork is in love with you."

"I don't know if Teddy _believes_ in love," Lorelei pointed out, wagging a finger at Anya like she was striking up a valid point. 

"Well, maybe to Teddy, there's a love-substitute."

"Ooh, you mean like butter for fat people?"

"Yes, like butter for fat people." She shook her head. "Stop interrupting me. So, Teddy's in love…Teddy's in butter with you. Get out the chocolate chips. This is the stupidest conversation I've had in a long time with you. But anyway, you obviously return the feelings for him."

"Oh, but _I _believe in love," Lorelei said. "I don't use fake butter."

Anya stared at her. "Sure. Since we've established that you both _like_ each other, I don't see what the problem is here. You should be having his children by now." She shook her head. "My _God_ you're a weird one."

"But how do I go about telling him that I like him back?" she whined. 

"Kiss him!" she cackled. 

"No!" Her look of repulsion softened into a smile. "Well, there's always that." With a smirk, she elbowed Anya repeatedly. "You look sad, too, Miss Anya. What's on your mind?"

The light-hearted teasing look on Anya's face seemed to crumple. She pursed her lips, and sat down. "Well, Chris isn't here today. And, um, and I haven't talked to him since we took him home after school yesterday. I'm sure he's okay but…he's always okay. And maybe he should let himself not be okay for once, and just ask for help. I don't know."

Lorelei looked down at her hands. "He shouldn't have to not be okay in the first place. How can a dad be able to hurt their kid? How can he not think 'my God, I'm responsible for everything about him' every time he sees him? He should be wanting to protect him, not being the thing that he fears more than anything."

"Arg," Anya said, blinking rapidly. "I feel so much for him. Thinking about how much he goes through really hurts. And then every time I see him, he's always got a smile for me."

Lorelei smiled softly, putting a hand on her friend's shoulder. "Do not cry in our cookies. He'll be okay. He always is, right?"

Nodding, she murmured, "When he needs to be."

Lorelei tapped her foot wildly. She found herself in French class, yet again. Madame Devreaux kept using the word _armure_ and it was annoying her. Didn't that mean love or something?

It didn't matter. French class sucked and so did love. 

She wondered what Teddy was doing. 

She decided to go light some matches outside. The smell of them reminded her of him, and so she shot her hand up in the air and asked to go to the bathroom. 

"What's on your mind?" Teddy asked Ginny. The two of them were sitting on the bike rack at the back of the school. They were supposed to be in shop class, but, they weren't. 

Ginny shrugged. The smoke from her stub of a cigarette snaked in the air, curling around her face. She didn't seem to notice. "Never mind."

He smiled, nudging her. She glared, like she was appalled he would dare touch her. She was so different from Lorelei. Lorelei would just laugh and shove him back. But Ginny…

"Just tell me," he said. "I'm bored as hell."

Ginny looked at him. Her eyes were intense but shadowed by the heavy black makeup she always wore. She said nonchalantly, "Actually, to be honest, I was wondering if you were a virgin."

Teddy coughed; trying to pretend he'd just inhaled some smoke. "Jesus, Ginny. What the hell made you think about that?"

"Well, you're obviously thinking about someone. I don't know who and I don't care. But it just made me wonder about the extent of this relationship you have with whoever the girl is."

"Oh." He nodded. "How did you know I was thinking about a girl?"

"You obviously can't see the look on your face."

"Well, no, I can't. How do you know it wasn't my mom I was thinking about? That's kinda revolting thinking about whether or not I have a sexual relationship with my mother." He grinned. "How do you know it's not _you_ that I'm thinking about?"

"Because guys don't look at me with that sort of expression."

__

"What expression?"

Tiring of his question, she barked, "Shut up, Teddy." With one hand, she seized the collar of his jacket and kissed him. 

He broke away after a great length of time of making out with her and wishing she were someone else. She'd left him breathless. "Do I _look_ like a virgin?"

A crafty smile tugged at her lips. "No. And you definitely don't kiss like one either." 

"Good to know."

"So are you?"

He put his hands around her waist, stroking her stomach through the fabric of her shirt with his thumb. "That's up to you."

They heard a door open. Expecting it to be a teacher looking for skippers, they backed away from each other and grabbed their bags. They looked back to see who it was. 

It wasn't Mr. Grodin or Mr. Pardue or any of the teachers Teddy had been expecting to see. It was Lorelei, frozen in her tracks. She had been in the process of pulling her light brown hair into a ponytail, a book of matches between her teeth. Her grey eyes took in their blushing, awkward situation slowly and silently. She let her hair fall to her shoulders and grabbed the matches in her hand. She stood, in all her 5'4" glory, tall and proud. "God--damn," she said. 

"Lorelei," Teddy called, hopping off the bike rack to run to her. "Don't go, just wait a minute!"

Ginny grabbed him by the arm. "Don't _you_ go, Teddy, please?"

"Oh, do go, Teddy," Lorelei said sarcastically. "Please." She rolled her eyes, turning to go back through the doors she'd just come out of. 

"Ginny, meet the girl I was thinking about," Teddy said, trying to speak loudly enough to bring Lorelei back. "Meet the girl I'm _always_ thinking about, actually."

Lorelei stopped walking, but she put her hand on the door and didn't turn around to face him. 

Ginny let go of his arm. She tossed her cigarette on the ground. Glowing embers like sparks skidded across the asphalt. With a lasting look, she walked away from him. As she passed Lorelei, she raised her eyebrows and looked at her with a forced and phony amiability. "Nice to meet you." She reached for the door, causing Lorelei to wordlessly back away from it, and went inside. 

Looking down at the ground, still not saying anything, Lorelei struck a match, bending her hand so as not to let the flame touch her. Then she let it fall to the ground, smothering it with the toe of her shoe. The smell of a campfire flooded her senses as the match was distinguished. Keeping her gaze on the ground, she walked over to him slowly. 

"Lorelei--" he began to say.

"Shut up," she said softly. Finally, she turned her eyes up to look at him. "Did you kiss her?"

"Yeah, but it didn't mean--"

"You let me fall for you and then I have to walk in on something like that?" she demanded. 

"I'm _sorry!_ Jesus, what more do you _want?"_

"I want you to stop playing with my feelings!"

"Oh, _I'm_ playing with _your_ feelings?" he scoffed, laughing derisively. "You've been flirting with me since day one and putting up eight feet tall barriers between us at the same time!"

"I have not been flirting," she snapped. "I do not flirt." She used her fingers to put quotations around the word _flirt_. 

"Like hell you don't flirt." He crossed his arms over his chest in a stance of defiance. "How else did you make me start to like you and lose sleep over you and start questioning myself because of you?"

"Because you're a moron, I don't know!" she cried. 

"At least I don't change my mind about who I like every three days!"

"Well at least I'm not--_short!"_

"Yes you are! You're the same height as me!"

"Shut up!" she yelled, and then as an afterthought, added, "Asshole."

__

"Bitch."

"I hate you!"

"I hate you more!"

"Fuck you!"

"Fuck you _more!"_

Both of them stood there, trying to come up with something else insulting. Their cheeks were pink and they were glaring at each other. The silence between them was long and laboured.

"Um," Teddy stuttered. "You…suck."

Lorelei glared. "You…do too."

Teddy unfolded his arms from across his chest and took hold of her suddenly. He kissed her harshly but softly. From the way she kissed him back, it was as though she'd been waiting for it. 


	25. Phone Conversations

As soon as Anya walked through the door, she threw her bag on the floor and ran into the kitchen. "Stefan, I need the phone!" she said, grabbing her brother's arm. 

__

"I need the phone," he snapped, shaking free of her grip. 

"Dial-A-Whore can wait!"

He scoffed. "It so happens I am having a civilized conversation with my girlfriend so piss off, you runt."

"Chris wasn't at school today and I'm worried about him and I am not kidding about wanting the goddamn phone, Stefan."

"Growl," he said. "Sorry, Mike, but I have to go. My sister is about to gnaw my limbs off. You've met her. You know how big those beaver teeth are. Alright? I'll talk to you later. Bye."

"I thought you said you were talking to your girlfriend," Anya said grumpily. 

"Yeah. Well. I don't value honesty around you."

After she had flipped him the finger, she took the phone from him. Her fingers felt thick as she dialed Chris' phone number. She prayed silently for someone to answer. 

"Hello?"

Anya felt a wave of nausea flood her stomach when she heard Chris' voice in her ear. "Hey," she said, somewhat eagerly. 

"Hey," he said back, sounding amused at her enthusiasm. 

"…Hi."

"Yeah, hi. We've established the hello part, Anya."

"Why weren't you at school today?" she asked abruptly. 

"I'm okay, Ann."

"Your dad didn't…?"

"Not me. My mom. That's why I missed today. I was making sure she was going to be all right."

"And she is, right?"

"Yeah, she'll be fine with some heavy makeup."

There was a long dead-weight silence. Anya just didn't understand the abuse in the Chambers home. 

Chris knew that, so he changed the subject. "Anything exciting happen today that I unfortunately missed out on?"

"Actually, yes!"

"I'm listening."

"Teddy and Lorelei have started going out."

"Reeeally?"

"Reeeally!"

"I need your gossip, Anya, tell me all about it."

Anya jumped up on the kitchen counter, making herself comfortable. "Well, so Lorelei was sitting in French class--okay, she told me all this after everything happened, but yeah, okay, yes. So she keeps hearing the word _armure_ which she thought meant love, but it actually means armour and _amour _means love but anyway, I explained this to her afterwards. It made her think about Teddy so she went outside to light matches--"

"Why matches?"

"The smell reminds her of him. Don't ask me, I don't know."

"Continue."

"Happily," she giggled. "So when she goes outside, lo and behold, there's Teddy!"

"Ooh!" Chris laughed. 

"However, Teddy is not alone."

"Gasp!"

"He was with Ginny Fallon."  
"Who?"

"A girl."

"Oh."

"And they apparently looked very cozy."

"I find it very cute that you keep changing tenses in this story," Chris interrupted.

"Quiet, you." She paused to laugh. "Anyway, so Lorelei is all angry and hurt and sad, as well she should be. But then Teddy's like 'Ginny, this is the girl that I can't stop thinking about' or some sappy thing like that, which I can totally not imagine coming from Teddy's mouth. But then Ginny left and Teddy and Lorelei fought and then they reconciled."

"You mean they reconciled with their lips?"

"That's what I mean."

"That was a good story," Chris said. "I'll have to make fun of both of them tomorrow."

"I've already taken care of teasing Lorelei."

"Damn you."

"Thanks, I'm sure." She brushed some crumbs off the counter while she thought of what to say. "Not to be blunt or rude or anything, but now that Lorelei's moved on…"

"What's going to happen to us, you mean?" he asked. 

"That's what I mean."

"I'm very comfortable with you, Anya," he told her softly. "I can see myself taking care of you, and I know you already try to take care of me. But I think we should stay the way we are now. We're both happy in each other's company and I don't think we should try and complicate that."

"Don't fix what isn't broken," she murmured.   
He sensed her quietness. "Anya, is that okay?"

"So you have no feelings for me then?"

"That's not it," he insisted. "You're just too good to lose."

She smiled. "You wouldn't lose me. I, like…you're like…I mean, I…you know…"

He laughed. "I love you too, Anya."

"That's what I mean!"

"Hello?"

"Hi, is Vern there?"

"Vern?"

"Sorry, do I have the wrong number?"

"No, no…it's just…Wow. I'll go get him." 

Cassie heard some scuffling as the person who had answered over at the Tessio house put the phone down. She tried to breathe deeply and evenly, all the while wondering just why she had picked up the phone and dialed his number. 

__

"VERN!"

"HUH?"

"Some girl's on the phone for you!"

"That's not funny, Billy!"

"I'm SERIOUS!"

Cassie listened. There was a loud sigh heard, as footsteps became more audible. "Um…hello?" Vern's voice answered cautiously. 

"Hi, Vern? This is Cassie Grey…"

Vern seemed to choke and cough at the same time. "Pardon?"

"Cassie. From school, you know?" She panicked. He didn't even know who she was. That was a bad sign. 

"I thought I had a hearing problem! Um, h-hi…_hello_ Cassie. How are you?"

"I'm good," she replied. "Um…I was just calling to let you know that I can come to that party your brother's having, if the offer still stands."

"Oh, it stands!"

"Good. What time is it?"

"As soon as possible."

Cassie laughed. Then she gave a happy little sigh. 

"Cats or dogs?"

"That's a stupid question. How the hell is that going to help you get to know me better?"

"Answer the goddamn question, Teddy."

Teddy grinned at Lorelei's teasing hostility, then shifted the phone to his other ear. His right ear was sore. They'd been talking on the phone for three and a half hours and going strong. "Dogs. Cats suck. Although I have a cat. But I hate it. Dogs are good."

"Dogs bite my ass."

"On a regular basis?"

"No. Only once."

"This is a stupid conversation, Lorelei."

"You come up with something then!"

"I _will_. What are you wearing?"

"Hehehehe," Gordie giggled, teasing Cat with a piece of string as he sat on Brooke's bedroom floor.

Brooke looked at him and laughed delightedly at his giggle. "Here, try the ribbon."

Gordie accepted the red ribbon that Brooke pulled out of her desk drawer. He dangled it in the air above Cat and the two of them laughed their asses at her futile attempts to catch the ribbon. 

"Brooke," Mrs. Aarons called from deep in the house. "The phone's for you."

Brooke breathed deeply as if she were in labour, placing a hand over her chest. "Must…calm down…"

"Go answer the phone," Gordie giggled. "I bet it's your booooyfrieeend."

She smacked him, and then walked to her bedroom door. "I would appreciate it if you did not snoop through my room while I'm taking this important phone call, Gordie."

"I would appreciate it if you would not suspect such things of me, Brooke," he retorted and burst out into violent laughter as Cat pounced into the wall. 

Brooke grinned, then left. 

"Did you see that smile?" Gordie whispered, picking Cat up. Cat immediately snatched up the ribbon, chewing on it. "I really wish she'd stop doing that to me. I don't know why I'm talking to you, exactly. Hey, look at me when I'm talking to you, Kitty. Do you think it's healthy that I feel sick whenever she's around? But whenever I'm not around her, I feel even worse…Holy fuck. Do I _like_ her?"

Cat suddenly struck him, her claws retracted. 

"I think I do. Oh my. This is bad. But very good. But bad. Goddammit, she's so pretty and great…" Gordie started to giggle. 

Brooke walked in the room. 

Gordie jumped. "I was not talking!"

"No, I know, you were laughing like a hyena. It was very attractive."

"Who was on the phone?"

"Cassie. She wanted to know if I would go to Billy Tessio's party with her because she wants moral support for when she like faints or something upon seeing Vern, AKA the love of her life. I said yes." She sat down on the floor beside him. "Do you want to be my moral support when she abandons me for the love of her life AKA Vern?"

"Are we talking about a date?"

"I don't know, should we be?"

"I don't know." He whined. "I was just talking to Cat before you came in the room. Did you hear any of my conversation? If so, I was temporarily crazy. And by 'pretty' I meant…'pretty BAD' and by 'I like her' I meant 'I DON'T' and--"

"I heard nothing. Stop talking. I think you're embarrassing yourself and that makes me feel bad for you. Hand over Cat before you make her retarded like you."

[Author's Note: Gordie confessing his feelings to Cat was Britt's idea, so all credit goes to her for that :) She's my genius, so thank you for your ideas and your beta-reading skills!! I love you!]


	26. Halloween: Part One

Cassie invited Brooke, who invited Gordie, who invited Chris, who invited Anya, who invited Lorelei, who invited Teddy, who had already been invited by Vern, who had invited Cassie. Besides them, there was quite the turn out for Billy Tessio's Halloween party. 

Lorelei and Teddy arrived the Tessio house first. Just as they were about to enter, four kids in varying costumes pushed in front of them, holding pillowcases. 

"Hey, back of the line, you little ankle-biters," Teddy said to the children. 

"Teddy," Lorelei laughed. "Don't be the Halloween Scrooge. There's no candy at this house, little people. They're only serving beverages with high alcoholic contents. Happy Halloween!"

As the nerve-wracked kids went back down the porch steps, Teddy looked at Lorelei suspiciously. "Why are you so chipper?"

"Maybe I have Halloween spirit."

"So you admit that you're a witch…"

She giggled and linked her arm through his. He pushed open the front door, taking in the party scene. 

"Hey look, drunk half-naked dancing!" Lorelei pointed out to Teddy cheerfully. "I love the nightlife."

"Hey guys!" Vern yelled, veering past a couple making out intensely. "I was beginning to think that no one was going to show up!"

"Um, Vern, there's like fifty people in your living room," Teddy told him. "I think it's safe to say that the turn out is good."

"I meant people that don't get their kicks out of giving me wedgies."

"Yeah," Teddy said sympathetically. "Your brother's got some unique friends."

"ANYAAAAAAA!!!!!" Lorelei squealed, jumping up and waving the hand that was holding Teddy's above her head. "Over HEEERE ANYA!!!"

"You never greet me that way," Teddy said indignantly. 

"I think it's the party atmosphere," she explained calmly. "I feel awfully light-headed, but in a good way. Like I'm on like…helium. Yeah, helium. That's what they put in blimps, I think?"

Vern turned around and shouted, "No one give this girl anything to drink!"

Anya and Chris made their way over to the group, dressed in full costumes. 

"Are you supposed to be a priest?" Vern asked Chris. 

Chris looked down at his long brown robes. "Actually, I'm a monk."

"Why do you have a sword?" Teddy asked. 

"Because I wanted to carry one around. I guess I'm a monk crusader."

Anya, who was a nun, said proudly, "Chris gave me a sword too! I'm not allowed to stab him anymore though." She patted her belly, which was large, due to the fact that she had stuffed pillows under her costume. "I'm a sword-wielding pregnant nun."

"CHRISTOPHER!" Lorelei scolded. "Impregnating my holy friend with your, uh, holy, uh, crusader? Wow, can you imagine if a monk and a nun really _did_--"

"Hey look--Gordie!" Anya interrupted. 

Gordie, accompanied by Brooke and Cassie, spotted them right away. "Hey," he said. "Vern, Billy's already puking. He actually puked all over the door."

"He doesn't hold in beer to well," Vern explained. _"I_ do. I'm not a pussy like him. Nope."

Teddy poked a costume-less Gordie in the chest. "What are _you_ supposed to be?"

He raised an eyebrow at Teddy's lack of costume and shoved him in return. "Same as you."

"You're a superhero disguised as a teenage boy _TOO_?" Teddy gasped. 

"Yup," he laughed. He glanced at Brooke, who was looking shy, and put her in a friendly headlock, taking her off guard and making her give a startled laugh. Then he turned to Anya, taking in her nun-ness. "Blasphemy."

"Hey, no one ever said _how_ I get pregnant. Maybe it was an Immaculate Conception. It's happened before you know."

"I wasn't referring to your pregnancy. I was referring to _you_ as a holy woman. God's probably ready to throw lightening bolts at you."

There was a quiet moment, when the group of eight just stood there together. Gordie, Chris, Teddy and Vern exchanged looks. It was almost like old times, they thought--until they looked at the other four members of the group. Times do change. 

After awhile, they split up to mingle. There weren't many other high schoolers at the party. Most of them were college-aged, although probably none of them were college students. All the original Cobras had shown up, as well as pretty much everyone who had heard about the party and were considered cool enough to not be thrown out. 

This wasn't Cassie's idea of a good time. Some stranger, missing his pants, had shoved a bottle of beer in her hand. Since then, she had been sitting alone on the counter of the Tessio's kitchen, staring at the unopened drink. She was lonely. And she was feeling how out of place she really was. 

"I am not your barf bucket bitch, Billy!" Vern shouted over his shoulder as he entered the kitchen, his arms full of empty bottles. He looked up, saw Cassie, and almost dropped everything he was holding. "Cassie, hi!" he exclaimed. 

"Hi Vern," she said back. "Do you want help with those?"

He looked down at the bottles as if just noticing them for the first time. "Oh, no, I'm good, thanks." He dumped them into the recycling bin. "Why are you sitting in here all alone?"

"I'm not alone," Cassie said, smiling. "You're here."

Vern grinned, crossed the kitchen, and hopped up next to her on the counter. "I take it you're not having a good time?"

"I just…" She shrugged. "I don't fit in."

"Sure you do," he protested. "I wanted you here, Cassie."

"I don't mean just here. I don't fit in anywhere."

"What do you mean? You have tonnes of friends."

"I guess I've spent all my time trying to be the best that I forgot to learn how to be a part of everyone else," she said, with another shrug. "And, yeah, I have friends, but I'm not the girl they call for slumber parties or to hook me up with some guy or whatever. I'm the girl they call for math help."

"Well--" Vern tried to think of something nice to say to her. 

"I mean, I have no idea how to behave in this kind of setting. I'm always holding back."

"Um--"

"And you're the worst," she said. 

"What?"

"I just want to be around you, but I don't know how to be."

Vern looked at Cassie, too shocked to smile at the words he had dreamt of hearing. "Cassie…"

She peered up at him. 

"You're around me right now, and I think you're sincerely cool. And if you're holding back…then wow."

Her eyes lost cynicism as they searched his face for sincerity and found it. 

"Cassie, you don't have to hold back around me because I already know how boss you are. So don't hold back."

She decided to obey. In one quick motion without a second thought to doubt, she leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek.

Vern giggled as if he were twelve years old, and kissed her in return.

In shock over her first kiss, Cassie dropped the beer she'd forgotten she was holding. 

As they stared at the foamy mess on the floor, Vern laughed. "I said 'don't hold back,' not 'don't hold _beer.'"_

"Let me HAVE SOME!" Lorelei pleaded. 

"No," Teddy replied. 

"GIVE IT."

"No."

"Please?"

"Ummmm…"

"Yes! Yes?"

"No."

"Damn you!" she cried. "I just want a sip."

"You're already bouncing off the walls, Lore," Teddy told her as they stood by the blaring record player. He was flipping through the records that Vern's brother owned. "I'm able to drink responsibly at parties. You, obviously, can't even breathe air responsibly."

"You're my boyfriend. You're supposed to give your girlfriend beer. I'm sure it's in the dating handbook."

"That's only when I want to get you faced so I can have drunken yet consensual sex with you."

"You _don't?"_

"Jesus. I can't win with you." Teddy rolled his eyes and handed her his mostly empty drink. "Don't take too much. If you do, you're getting me another one."

"Goody!" Lorelei grabbed it and took a generous swig. Her delighted expression turned to horror and disgust. "Eww! That's NASTY! Let me try some more."

"I'm enrolling you in AA, my little junior alcoholic."

"Do they serve drinks there?"

"Brooke!" Cassie hissed, sticking her head into the bedroom where Brooke and Gordie were in, playing Go Fish together. Neither of them were very social people. "I have to talk to you!"

"Okay, just give me a few minutes. I'm actually winning this hand," Brooke told her, not looking up from her fan of cards. "Got any three's?"

"Nope," Gordie replied, grinning smugly. You can never be sure of anything in the game of Go Fish, Brooke. Got any nine's?"

She resentfully handed her nine of clubs to him, then looked at Cassie, surprised she was still standing in the door frame. "I'll meet up with you downstairs, okay, Cass?"

"Downstairs where?"

"Uh, the kitchen."

"Great." She smiled. "I'll leave now, in case this turns into a rousing game of strip Go Fish." She turned and left the bedroom.

Rearranging his cards silently, Gordie then asked, "Five's?" She had one of those as well. "Um…Jack's?" Go Fish was not Brooke's game. "Bahaha I'm rich. Seven's?"

"Screw you." She flipped him a card. "This game is stupid and so are you."

"I like it," he laughed. "Two's?"

"No. HA!" She was happy once more. "Do you have that three yet?"

"Nope. Got any king's?"

A king she did have indeed. But something had been on her mind all week, and she felt like she was procrastinating. "Gordie?"

He glanced up from his cards, a lock of hair falling over his forehead. Damn his faulty hair products. 

"I have many faults, you see. For example, I'm terrible at even the most simplistic of card games. Also, I can't dance. And I always leave my socks all over the house, especially in the couch cushions. And I'm really bad for eavesdropping. And I drink from the milk carton when no one's home."

"That's nice. What does that have to do with you having any king's? Gordie's eyes narrowed. "Heyyy, what do you mean by you're bad for _eavesdropping?"_

"Well…"

"You were listening to my conversation with Cat."

"That's what I like about you--you're very smart," she said cheerfully. 

"I'm highly embarrassed."

"Don't be, Gordie--"

"I confessed my feelings for you to a homeless animal while you stood outside the door!"

"Gordie, what does it matter? You know I feel the same way about you," Brooke told him, somewhat irritated, but still gently forceful. "I always have."

"Because I can't let go of Denny."

"What?"

"You make me think about his death. And the finality of it and the fact that I'm never going to see him again. The reason he's dead is the reason you're alive, and that keeps running through my head."

"Dammit Gordie, my dad has nothing to do with this! And neither does Denny. It's about _you _and _me._ Not old mistakes I am in love with you, Gordie, why can't you _think_ of that when you think of me, and not the family I come from? You don't do that to Chris."

"Don't bring Chris into this, because it's totally different with him." He sighed deeply. "I just miss him so bad, Brooke."

"I _know_! Jesus Christ," she said, rising to her feet as tears filled her eyes. "But he's gone, Gordie. I'm so sorry, but he died, six years ago. I'm right in front of you. I think I've started to love you. I want to be here for you when you need someone. Don't lose me."

"Lose you?" Gordie repeated, his eyes wide and innocent. He gingerly took her hand to pull her back down to the floor, to his level. "Where would you go?"

"I'm not going anywhere, Gordie, that's what I'm trying to say. I can be here for you, now that Denny can't, not physically. I'm just saying, the more you push me away…the more you lose me."

"Brooke…"

She swiped at her eyes. "God damn you, Gordie Lachance. You make me cry."

Gordie's expression softened as he tucked his hand into the sleeve of his sweater and wiped away her tears and streaks of mascara from her rosy cheeks. As more tears flowed, he gave up and pulled her into his arms. "Why are you crying, Brooke?"

"I've never…wanted anything so much that it hurts…and what I want won't have me because…I hurt him just with my presence."

"That's not true," he told her. 

"Then prove it."

Gordie looked down at her. She had her head resting on his shoulder, trusting him. Her lips had never looked more soft, or cherry pink, or vulnerable to him than they did right then. 

__

I just want to kiss you, he thought, and grimaced. "I can't prove it right now, Brooke. But I can promise that I'm going to love you, okay?"

"Don't bother, you asshole. You'll never say it and you'll never show it." She struggled out of his arms, fed up. 

He pulled her back down again, strongly enough that he almost hurt her. But his hands were gentle as he took her face in them. He moved her hair out of her face, pressing his lips to her forehead. "That's me showing my promise," he muttered. "That's all I have."

"It's not all you have," she murmured. 


	27. Halloween: Part Two

"Hello, ladies," Gordie said, approaching Chris and Anya, who were sitting together on a couch. He squeezed between them. 

"This couch is too small, Gordie," Chris grumbled. 

"Yeah, and I got a big butt too," he laughed. He wiggled around and then put his arms around both of their shoulders. "How is the party treating you two?"

"Good," Chris said. "Except some random girl kissed me and it was gross and she tasted like vomit. So I was like 'back off bitch.'"

"Actually, what he said was 'Pardon me, I think you're confused and intoxicated, Miss,'" Anya told Gordie. 

"Yes, but I was thinking 'back of bitch,'" Chris grumbled. 

"Chris, you're such a nice young man," Gordie laughed. He looked over at Anya's pregnant belly and noticed she had a wine cooler resting on it. "You should not be drinking in your condition!"

"She's drinking for three," Chris said. 

"Three?"

"Yes, she's drinking for herself, for the baby AKA pillow, and for me."

"For you? You never drink, you retard."

"I know!" He looked at Gordie, with a smiling look of impatience. "Must I explain _everything_ to you, Gordie?"

"Usually." He sighed. "Chris? I gotta ask you about something, later, okay?"

"Why not now?"

"Because I'm still thinking about it on my own."

"All right, man. Don't think too hard."

You Didn't Have to be So Nice by the Lovin' Spoonfuls suddenly started to play. Chris appeared troubled. "That's weird. I never saw Billy as the type to listen to the Lovin' Spoonfuls. No matter. Anya, get up and dance with me."

"But my back is killing me!" she griped. 

"I don't care!"

__

"That's because _you're _not the one pretending to be pregnant."

Chris got up and whacked her with his sword.   
"Fine," she sighed. She struggled to her feet, making Chris and Gordie laugh hysterically, because she looked like an upside down ladybug. "Let's 'dance,' damn you."

Chris looked at Gordie. "You're sure you don't want to talk now?"

"I'm sure. 'Dance,' damn you," Gordie laughed. "I'll be here when you get back."

"Okay, man, I'll be back…it won't take long for me to make an ass of myself, I'm sure." He grinned and grabbed Anya by the hand. "Holy mother! Your hands are like ice, woman."

"Get used to it."

Gordie watched them as Chris tried to get his arms around Anya's waist, but couldn't because of her bulging middle. The two of them laughed and settled on doing a psychotic swing dance. Anya was apparently quite drunk. It made him sad…his two best friends together while he sat alone, berating himself for being such a dick to the only girl that he could ever see himself loving.

"He's a dick," Cassie said. 

"He's not a dick," Brooke insisted, but it was hard to insist something with any gusto when you had the hiccups from crying too hard. 

"He's a dick! It's not your fault he can't pick up the pieces."

"It's not his fault either." Brooke slumped over the kitchen table, her hair like a curtain over her face. "I just wish that I could be someone else."

"Brooke," Cassie murmured, unsure of what to do. She settled on patting her on the back. "He likes you for you. He…just doesn't know what to do with his feelings yet. Think about it from his point of view."

"I have thought about it from his fucking point of view!" Brooke snapped. "All I fucking _do_ is think about him!"

"Okay…" Cassie sighed. She didn't know what to do.

"I wish everything could be different," she whimpered. "I just…wish…I wish Gordie…" She looked up, her eyes rimmed with pink and her cheeks blazing. "I don't know. I want Gordie, and I claim to want the best for him…so maybe I should just stay away from him completely."

The sound of vomit would remain in Lorelei's mind for a very long time. She was just standing there peacefully…well, her lips were kind of attached to Teddy's…but she was just standing there, minding her own business when Vern came up to them, staggering.

"Hey, guys, I think I've had too much to dri--"

And then suddenly, Lorelei was covered in Vern barf.

"Holy SHIT!" she screamed, flying away from both Teddy and Vern. "Son of a fucking goddammit EWWWWW!"

"Holy shit, I'm sor--" Vern began to say, but then had to leave so that he could throw up again. 

"Teddyyyy," she whined. "I'm appalled!"

Teddy was cackling while he said, "Come on, I'll take you home. I think you're quite drunk yourself anyway."

"I'm not _drunk_."

"You are too. You're swaying, and you're letting me make out with you more than usual."

"That's because I love you, man!"

"Come on," he laughed, and led her outside. He didn't think he needed to say goodbye to anyone--everyone but Chris and Gordie were drunk, as far as he could tell. Even Cassie Grey and Brooke Aarons, Castle Rock High's biggest brains, were giggling and crying and drinking in the kitchen, last time he'd seen them.

As they walked down the middle of the street, with him mostly having to hold her up to prevent her from collapsing, Lorelei suddenly squealed. "Oh heavenous joy!"

"What the hell?" he demanded. 

She swayed for a moment, then stooped to pick something up off the road. "A perfectly good Tootsie Roll, fallen out of the treacherous grip of some unfortunate trick or treater! Mwahahahaha!"

"You're not going to eat that, are you? Shit, Lorelei, it's got _tire_ marks in it. It's been _run over._"

She fought with the wrapper, and then broke the Tootsie Roll in half. "Want some?"

He put up a hand and said politely, "No thank you."

She stared at him. 

"What?" he demanded. 

She walked away. 

"Are you mad because I won't eat your Halloween roadkill?" he laughed. 

Giggling, Lorelei took his hand and said cheerfully, "Nope!" She went to pop the candy in her mouth. Teddy watched in slow motion as she dropped it on the road. "NOOOOooooo!" she screamed. 

Teddy then watched as she ate it anyway.

__

"Shhhh," Gordie hissed.

"That was a kick ass party!" Brooke practically yelled as he tried to sneak them into the house quietly around two AM.

"You've never been drunk before, have you?" he sighed. 

"Not really!"

"Okay, I understand that you decided to drink your troubles away with the future valedictorian tonight, but you must restrain your intoxication until I get you into bed."

"Get me into bed, eh?" she snickered, jabbing him in the ribs, and tripping up the stairs. "For someone who can't stop pushing me away, you sure cut right to the chase, don't you?"  
"Shut up," he said kindly, finally getting her inside her room. He closed the door behind them, trying to minimize the sound. She sat down heavily on the bed and he knelt to slip off her shoes. "You fucked up tonight, Brooke."

"So did you, Gordie."

"I can't believe you had to get plastered just because I didn't tell you what you wanted to hear."

"Well I'm certainly more cheerful now."

"You won't be in the morning."

Suddenly Cat crawled out from under the bed. Brooke squealed. 

"It's just Cat, Brooke."

"Oh I don't like cats when I'm drunk."

Gordie shook his head. "I'm going to bed. Try not to puke in your sleep and die from choking on it."

"Aye, aye."

"Goodnight, Brooke."

"Night Gordie, I love you," she yawned, and fell back against her pillow with her eyes closed. He realized she was already asleep. 

He stared at her. "I think I might love you too, you retard," he muttered, and flipped off her light.

Author's Note: Many people to thank :) Well, three. Okay, thanks to Caroline (The Masked Penguin) for suggesting the You Didn't Have to be so Nice song…I've discovered that I too love it. And thanks to Robyn for going for a walk with me yesterday and eating candy roadkill off the middle of the road and letting me use your…uniqueness…in my story. LoL, you're basically the Lorelei in my life :) And also, thanks as always to Britt for being the greatest beta-reader in the history of beta-reading. I love you :)


	28. Sunday Morning After

Being shaken awake the next morning didn't help Lorelei's hangover very much. Opening one eye and finding that her vision was blurred and bright lights hated her, she saw Aurora and Alexander. Aurora stood by her bedside, looking smug, while Alexander sat on her legs and bounced. 

"Look how bright the sun is!" Aurora said perkily. 

Covering her eyes with her arm, she moaned. "Daaaamn…" She was amazed at how heavy her body seemed, despite all the throwing up she'd done throughout the night. 

"How was your night?"

"I don't remember."

"I see. That explains your lack of eyebrows."

"WHAT?"

Aurora giggled. "Kidding."

"Thank God." Lorelei groaned. "I could have been impregnated by a hobgoblin for all I know. I'm never drinking again."

"Why is there a Tootsie Roll wrapper stuck to your face?" Alexander asked, peeling it off her forehead and sniffing it. 

"Hmm. I don't know."

"Cassie, honey, it's almost two o'clock," Mr. Grey said, coming into his daughter's room and throwing back her curtains. 

Cassie squeaked and pulled the covers above her head. "It's burns…"

"Are you not feeling well, sweetheart?"

"Noo."

"Okay, well, I'll leave you alone. I'll bring up some soup later. Do you need anything right now?"

"No thanks, Dad." When he left her with a kind, stupid smile, she realized how much of a dumbass her dad was. She almost wished he'd realized that she was hungover and he'd gotten mad. She wished people knew she was less than perfect. 

"Okay, everybody, she's coming!" Reese whispered excitedly to Mrs. Aarons and Gordie as they were sitting at the table and eating soup for lunch. "Start making noise!"

Brooke shot him an icy look as she passed the table and went straight for the medicine cabinet. 

"How are you doing?" Gordie asked her. The concern that was missing from his voice was clear in his eyes. 

"Erk," she replied. She located the Pepto Bismol and poured it into a glass. 

Reese was busy tapping his spoon on the side of his glass repeatedly. It sounded as though he was trying to play Jingle Bells, but the glass just wasn't cooperating. 

Gordie seized the spoon out of Reese's hand. "Stop that immediately." He looked at Brooke. "I don't think you should drink a cup of Pepto Bismol. You might suffer some consequences."

"I wasn't gonna drink it all at once," she mumbled. "I thought it would save me a few trips to the kitchen if I just carried it around with me." She came and sat down next to him. 

"Brooke," Mrs. Aarons said flatly. "You and I are going to have a talk privately later on."

"Mom, I'm in grade _twelve_ now, I think I'm responsible enough to make my own choices--"

"Brooke," she said in a warning voice. 

"It was my fault, Mrs. Aarons," Gordie muttered. "We had a fight."

Brooke glared at him and pushed back away from the table. "I don't want to talk to anybody. Just leave me alone."

"Oh, good Lord, child," Mrs. Aarons sighed, following her daughter to her bedroom. 

"Brookie, you forgot your antacid," Reese called helpfully, looking at the glass of Pepto Bismol with sympathy, like it might be lonely. 

Gordie stared down at his barely touched tomato soup. "I have to go home." 

"Need a change of underwear?" Reese asked. "Just turn it inside out."

"Sick, man. I can't believe Anya stayed with you for four years," Gordie said, laughing uncertainly. "I just think I should leave."

"Why?"

"I'm upsetting Brooke."

"So what? I always upset her. Just yesterday, I pushed her down the stairs with my ass and she hit her head on several of the stairs and cried. I don't care. Neither should you."

"You ass-rammed your sister?" Gordie demanded. 

"As a matter of fact, yes…"

"That's horrendous." He shrugged. "I'm hurting her in a different way. I made her cry too last night, but not because I beat her up like you always do. And I can't stand the fact that I did that to her."

Reese smirked. "So you don't like her back, eh?"

"I'm frightened that you've been observing us," Gordie said, giving him a strange look. "But I _do_ like her back. Your sister is an amazing girl, and I've never really felt this strongly about anything. It's just that…I don't know anymore."

"It's about your brother, right?" 

"Holy fuck, Reese. Stop being intuitive. It doesn't suit you."

"Yeah, I know, I surprise even the biggest skeptics. But you can't be with her because of Denny. Right?"

"Right."

Reese raised his eyebrows. "Understandable. I remember Denny. He was good to you. But you know what? It's been six years, and it's his fault that you're probably the saddest guy I know because he keeps on breaking your heart and the same with your parents. If you feel so strongly about Brooke, you wouldn't let him do that to her too."

"There's something wrong with you today," Gordie said. "You seem to be out of character."

"Meh," he said indifferently. "I care about her too. And I also like you. I'm mostly just looking out for myself here because I would feel pretty shitty if I had to beat the crap out of my friend for burning my sister."

"Okay, who the fuck are you and what did you do with the asshole formerly known as Reese?"

"He's in the basement, Gordie. Um, yeah. Um, I'm like, a reincarnation or something. I don't know! I'm trying to be fucking _nice_ to you and you get _suspicious!"_

"That's because you're _creepy!"_

"Fuck off and go tell Brooke you want her!"

"You!"

The two boys stopped and then said, "Eww!"

Gordie broke into a smile. "Thanks for being weird today, Reese."

"Anytime, Gordie."

It was weird waking up from a dream that wasn't about war or the army or the usual stuff. Teddy rolled over onto his side, rubbing his eyes, and looked at the clock on his bedside table. After squinting, he read that it was almost eleven. He reached out a hand and located his glasses. 

Staring up at the ceiling now that he could see clearly, he went over the dream he'd just had. Usually whenever he dreamt about the opposite sex, he would wake up--quite frankly--somewhat hot and bothered. But dreaming about Lorelei left him to wake up slowly, and almost peacefully. She'd been drunk last night when she had kissed him goodnight, but he walked home totally oblivious to everything around him except for the fact that he had a girl like her. And now, waking up after dreaming about her, he felt content and pretty much just glad to be alive. Because Lorelei wasn't just a dream. 

Pulling a shirt over his head, he made his way out of his hazardously untidy room and went upstairs to the kitchen. He was hungry. Maybe after he ate some cereal, he would call Lorelei and see if she wanted to go to the diner for lunch with him. Then he saw a man sitting at the table. His back was to him, but Teddy could see the cigarette smoke floating in the air. His mother was standing at the stove in her weathered, moth-eaten housecoat, looking at the man with vulnerability in her eyes. 

__

That's odd, Teddy thought to himself. _Usually Mom's little guests don't stick around for breakfast. Maybe I should put some pants on. _He looked down at his boxers. They were clean. He didn't care if his mom's boyfriend saw him in his undergarments; he just wanted to get some cereal and then get out of the house to see his girlfriend. 

"Hey, Ted," the man said in a gruff, familiar voice that instantly made Teddy want to cry. "How about grabbing the syrup for your old man?"


	29. Heroes

"Hey-lo," Lorelei said, walking up to Teddy with her little brother trailing behind her. 

"Hi," he said, reserved. 

She took a seat next to him on the bench he was sitting on in the park. It was late afternoon, and her hangover was fading.

"Can I drop kick you in the head?" Alexander asked Teddy conversationally. 

Teddy looked at Lorelei for help. 

She dug through her bag and handed her brother two one-dollar bills. "Don't spend that all in one place now. And buy me something pretty."

When he took off singing about his newfound wealth, Lorelei turned to Teddy. "Me and the little monster were on our way to Peterson's. What are you doing here all by your lonesome?"

He shrugged. "Didn't want to be home."

"Oh," she said, unsure of what else to say. "So, are you feeling as sick as I do?"

He shrugged again. 

"Teddy, what's wrong?" she asked, a quiet plea in her grey eyes. 

"I dreamt about you last night," he said, clasping her hand with both of his. 

"That's what's wrong?"

"No. That's all that's right."

"Brooke?" Gordie gently tapped on her half-open door. "Can I come in?"

"I guess," she muttered. 

He slipped inside and shut the door. "Let's talk."

"About what?" she asked in a dull voice. She was sitting on her bed, reading. She looked sick and worn out. She wasn't pretty today. 

"I don't know. Let's just talk."

"My mom just reamed me out, Gordie. I don't know if I want to sit through one of your talks, all right?"

"I've come to the conclusion that I think I love you."

"What the hell?"

"You were so weak last night, Brooke, and at first it disgusted me," he said. "But then I wanted to make everything right for you. I wanted to make it all go away. I just realized that for everything to be right for you, I can't go away."

"Gordie--"

"Denny's going to stick with me for the rest of my life. You understand that. You don't just go, 'move on, kid, you're not gonna bring him back by moping around.' You never tell me what I want to hear. Instead I always hear what I need to hear from you. I don't want to let you leave my life like Denny did. I didn't have a choice with him but I do with you and I'm not going to screw it all up this time."

Brooke went wide-eyed. "Was it just the ringing in my head or did you actually say that?"

"I certainly hope I just said that, because I've been rehearsing it in front of the mirror for the past twenty minutes."

"My dad came home."

Lorelei's jaw dropped. "Holy crap."

"I don't want it all to suck again, Lore," he said, looking so much like a little boy that it nearly broke her heart. "I was starting to get used to being happy. I don't want to go back to being that kid he made me be. I don't want him to be my hero again."

Her eyes searched his face. She watched, as he seemed to teeter on the brink of falling apart. Shaking her head, she slipped her arm around him and pulled him into a hug. "Maybe he's changing, Teddy. Maybe he found the hero he used to be."

"No," he said, breathing in the scent of her. It only he could just pause everything and keep it like this, right here, with her. "That hero died in the war. Heroes don't get locked in mental institutions. My dad nearly killed me when I was a kid--when I still looked up to him and wanted to be just like him, he just about killed me. He fucked me up so that I never had a chance to be…good. Heroes don't do that."

"Teddy, you're better than any hero. You'll be okay." She played with his thick sandy hair soothingly. "And if you ever don't feel up to being okay, you know where to find me."

"I don't know how I managed to find you while I kept screwing up," he muttered, laying his head on her shoulder and leaning into her with heavy trust. "Everything I've ever done has been stupid or reckless and always wrong so where did I go right?"

Lorelei smiled. "I love you, Teddy."

For the first time in his battered life, he didn't immediately dismiss those words as a lie. 


	30. After School

"You might have to take the--"

"Don't SAY IT!" Chris cried, horrified. 

"But if you want to go home--"

"Lalalalalala!" He clamped his hands over his ears. 

"--Unless of course you want to sleep in the bathroom--"

"I can't hear you because I'm not listening!"

"But I think the janitor might kick you out."

"Oh, Anya please no," he begged. 

"There's nothing wrong with taking the school bus, Chris."

"You mean the CHEESE WAGON?! I REFUSE!"

Anya knew she shouldn't find Chris' alarm funny, so she tried to conceal her laughter with coughing. "I have to go home with Mary to work on our Physics, so I cannot drive you home. I'm sorry that your method of transportation is in the shop. You're sure Gordie can't drive you?"

"Yes. Gordie's insane and really annoying. He was like 'I am going to walk home in the newly fallen snow with BROOKE so we can DO IT along the way, sorry PAL.'" Chris glowered. 

Anya patted him on the shoulder, giggling. "Come on, Grumplestilskin. I'll walk you to your bus."

Lorelei caught up to Teddy, but she had to run to do so. He'd been quiet and standoffish all day, but she had been offended when he started walking home without her. "Hey, got a light?" she called, out of breath. 

Teddy turned around, tears in his eyes. 

Lorelei melted. "God, Teddy," she murmured. 

Cassie smiled as Vern tried to walk slightly ahead of her through the shin-deep snow that had fallen the night before, while still holding her hand. He claimed to be trying to make it easier for her to get through the snow by stepping in his footsteps. It wasn't really working, but he didn't have the heart to tell him that. 

With her free hand, she dug through her purse. "Want one, Vern?" she asked. 

He looked back at her, squinting at the glaring snow and low bright afternoon sun. "Oh my GOD," he exclaimed. He stopped all motion. 

She grinned, but was somewhat startled by his outburst. 

"Don't tell me that's cherry-flavoured."

"There's other flavours?"

"If that is cherry-flavoured Pez, I will love you forever!"

Cassie laughed and popped several candies into his hand. "Well, that's certainly something to look forward to."

Reese was excited about the drive home from school. With Brooke and Reese not present and constantly griping, he now had complete control of the radio. 

As he went out the back door of the school, pulling out his car keys, he saw a girl sitting on the steps. Since there was a snowfall last night, she was sitting on her purse to keep her butt snow-free. When he got closer, he saw that she was evidently crying, but all he could see was the back of her so he didn't know who it was. He figured he would get to make fun of the girl, and tried to come up with a good one-liner. 

Then he saw that it was Ginny Fallon, the new girl from Portland, the girl who tried to set fire to his hair every day in Math class. 

He sat down beside her. "Hey, Ginny."

She jumped. Mascara streaked her face and her bottom lip quivered. "Oh, hey…"

"What are you doing crying out here all by yourself?" he asked. "Did you poke yourself in the eye with eyeliner?"

"I was going to walk home…my boyfriend decided to dump me today, you see." She smiled and wiped her nose with her jacket sleeve. "I didn't make it too far."

"Your boyfriend dumped you? Did he realize he wasn't good enough for you or something?"

Laughing sadly, she shook her head. 

Reese jingled his keys. "Well, let me give you a lift home."

"Really?" Ginny looked genuinely surprised at his offer. "What about your sister and your little boyfriend?"

"Um, he's HER boyfriend, not MINE. And they're walking."

The doors behind them opened and animated voices followed. 

Brooke's voice said, "Well, hello."

Reese turned to see his sister and Gordie. They were eyeing them carefully. 

"Hey, THAT'S why you're so WEIRD lately!" Gordie exclaimed. 

"Shut up before I remove your testicles," Reese warned. "Run along. It's a long walk."

"We plan on taking the _long_ route," Brooke said indignantly. 

"GoodBYE," Gordie grumbled, never one to much care for having his testicles threatened. 

When the two of them continued on their way and disappeared from sight, Reese looked back at Ginny, who was no longer crying. "The offer is still valid."

Smirking, she asked, "Can I drive?"

"No."

"Can I control the radio?"

"Of course."

Brooke and Gordie got side-tracked on their way home from school. They realized that the snow was perfect snowball snow, and therefore began making a snowman. His name was Hector. 

Patting some extra snow onto Hector's middle, Brooke asked, "So why exactly was Reese being weird? I was confused, because you seem to have figured his problem out. I've lived with him for sixteen and a half years and you've lived with him for like…not long, and so I feel stupid and unobservant."

"Reese wants in Ginny's pants."

"I'm appalled," she muttered. 

Gordie shrugged. "She's kinda hot."

Brooke glared. 

"I mean if you don't look at her face," he sputtered, trying to recover. 

"Try again," she sighed. 

"I mean if you like girls that Reese likes."

"That's not what you meant at all, but I'll just ignore you." Brooke stared skeptically at the creation and put her hands on her hips. "Hector's nose should be longer."

Gordie shook his head. "Don't tamper with perfection, Brooke."

She appeared indecisive. "No, his nose is definitely too stubby."

"Yeah, well, maybe he's sensitive about his stubbiness."

"Yeah, and I bet you can relate," she shot back. 

"Oooh." Gordie grinned evilly. "Now you die." He hopped around their snowman and clobbered her into the snow. She screamed, her high pitched laughter surprised and gleeful. 

Gordie balled up some snow and held it above her head while he pinned her down with his other arm. 

"NOOooo!" She squealed. "Nonononononuh--" Her protests were cut off when he dumped the snow on her face in what would result in the most vicious face-wash she had had thus far in her life.

"Do you take it back?" he yelled above her shrieks. 

"Take WHAT back?" she cried. 

"That I'm stubby!"

"I can't do anything about your stubbiness!"

"I'm not stubby!"

"In comparison to WHO?"

"EVERYONE! Now take it back!"

"Nope!"

"Please? You've discredited me as the long-schlonged man that I really am!"

Laughing, she sputtered, "Fine! Get off me!"

"Thank you," he giggled, sitting up.

Brooke spat out some snow, breathing hard. She looked up at him as he looked off to the side with an enigmatic smile on his pink face. Snowflakes settled on his hair and his shoulders and his eyelashes. She sat up and kissed him on an impulse, bumping noses and accidentally knocking him backward in the snow.

Giggling, she rolled over into the snow, lying next to him and not caring about the snow that was probably finding its way into her pants. "But I won't take _that_ back."

"I would never ask you too," he laughed. 

"Don't make me," Chris whined, standing in front of the bus with Anya. 

"It's like a twelve-minute ride," Anya laughed, patting his arm. "Have faith. You'll live."

"You owe me huge," he muttered, and then climbed the 'watch-your-step' stairs of the bus. He gazed around, having to duck his head a little because of the low roof. Moving past the freshmen and sophomores, he slid into an empty seat three from the back. 

"Hey, Chris," the guy sitting in front of him with a girl said. His name was Dixon Hennessy, and Chris had known him since grade school. "What the hell are you doing on the loser-cruiser?"

"I have no friends," he replied. 

"Dixon has no license," Molly Hennessy, Dixon's younger sister, piped up. 

"I got my license suspended," Dixon sighed. "I was doing donuts on the mayor's lawn. He's got a mighty big lawn, you know."

Molly grinned impishly. "I would advise you not to question his motives."

"Shut up, pipsqueak," Dixon said kindly. "Oh, uh, this is my sister Bertha, if you care."

"I'm not a Bertha!" 

Chris laughed at her wounded expression. "I empathize, Molly. I got a brother too."

"Dixon steals from orphans," Molly said brightly. "And from grandmas. And me."

"My brother has been in JAIL."

"You win," she said. 

"MOLLY, you're your pennies EVERYWHERE!" Dixon announced, holding up a penny. "You should really learn to invest your nightly earnings in a BANK, you penny-whore."

"Dixon," she sighed, blushing. "You have embarrassed me so suddenly in front of my new friend that I am unable to come up with a witty insult."

"Pennies!" Dixon cried, flinging pennies merrily at the roof. "One cent! Two cents! Three cents! Four--"

"DIXON!" the bus driver, a big-haired lady named Janet shouted. "You're gonna put someone's eye out! Get up here and sit at the front with me!"

"NO, Janet, I'll stop!" he yelled. 

"Get up here!"

"I'll give you a penny!"

"Dixon! You have until the count of five! Five, four, three--"

"Okay, okay, I'm coming!" he barked, grabbing his bag, pushing his sister out of the seat and sauntering to the front of the bus. "Heya, Janet, how's the hubby treatin' ya?"

Molly climbed wearily back into her seat. 

Chris smiled. "He's always been a different duck, hasn't he?"

"Since birth," she sighed. "He's beginning to get intimate with the bus driver."

"Seriously?" he gasped. 

"Ew, no." She looked contemplative. "Well, I hope not. Well, you never know. Possibly. Anything's possible with Dixon. Probably. Yes."

"So how did you get normal?"

"I was adopted."

"Really?"

"In my dreams, I am."

Chris laughed. "What grade are you in? Ten, right?"

"Yep. I'm lowly." She bit her nails and then asked, "So, Chris, what did you do today?"

"Read a thesaurus and hated Anya Berkowitz."

"Why and why?"

"Because it was fun and because she's mean." He smiled shyly. "I could tell you all sorts of words meaning 'sexually immoral man.' I've truly enhanced my vocabulary."

She grinned. "Explain."

"I was bored off my rocket in Study Hall, and my friend Gordie--do you know Gordie Lachance?" She nodded. "Well, he was actually doing homework, and he said, 'what's another word for said?' So _I_ said, 'I will read this thesaurus and tell you' and then I got so engrossed with how dirty the book was that I never got back to him."

"I see," Molly laughed. "That's a good story. Tell it at parties."

After about ten minutes of easy conversation, the bus came to stop, and Molly moved to get up. Then she got pelted by a penny, via Dixon. She sat back down. "I am not going home with him," she decided. 

"MOLLY are you coming?" Dixon yelled.

"Yep! Be right there!" She stood up, and when he got off the bus, she sat back down, and Janet closed the bus doors. Molly waved at her brother through the window. 

"I'd like to trade you in for my brother," Chris laughed. "Actually, I think I'd like to trade you in for my mother. Can I take you home with me?"

"You don't throw pennies, do you?"


	31. after school continued

****

There were a few reasons as to why Chris didn't want to take Molly home with him. Firstly, he barely knew her. For all he knew, she could carry a machete under her jacket. Secondly, he wanted her to like him. That probably wouldn't happen if she saw what kind of home he came from. And lastly, he wanted ice cream. 

"Anything else?" the server asked with perky, carbon-copy politeness. 

Chris smiled, reserved. "Nuts, please."

"Okay. That's it?"

"Yes. Please don't be stingy with my nuts."

Molly, who already had her ice cream and was standing quietly at his side, looked up abruptly with shocked amusement at Chris, and had to cover her mouth to keep from spewing vanilla. 

Raising an eyebrow, Chris gave her a smiling, questioning look. 

"That came out wrong," she giggled. 

"I'll say," he laughed, wiping his sleeve. 

"Gauh! Did I spit ice cream on you?" she demanded. 

"No. But I thought it would be cute to worry you. And I was right."

She grinned. "A man's intuition never fails, eh?"

"Not this man's." Chris paid the server, took his ice cream cone from her, and said thank you quietly. Then he led Molly to a corner booth where they sat down across from each other. "I like my nuts."

Molly nodded in agreement, staring at his ice cream. "You certainly have a lot of them."

"Are you gonna eat your cherry?" he asked.

She had barely even touched her food, whereas Chris was already about a quarter done, and she was therefore astonished. "Um, no, but I think you are."

"Damn straight." He reached across the table and grabbed the maraschino cherry. "Oh. Sorry. Is damn bad?"

"Huh?"

"Are you one of those girls that don't like it when guys swear because they have delicate ears?"

"Fuck no."

"No, I don't want you to meet him," Teddy snapped, taking his hand away from Lorelei and shoving it in his pocket. 

"That's fine," she sighed exasperatedly. "But this is stupid, Teddy. Don't leave me out in the cold. I'm trying to help you."

"God, Lore, did I ask for your help?"

"No! And that's why I'm trying to!" she cried. "You're so scared to go home to this man that it almost makes you cry, and you know, it's not fair to make me so helpless."

"'Helpless,'" he snorted. 

Lorelei shot him a pissed off look. 

He returned it. 

The two of them had been walking home from school, and Lorelei had been unsuccessfully trying the entire walk to persuade Teddy to talk to her about what was going on in his head. Every innocent question she asked was cut off with a cheap backfire that was meant to hurt. Now, the pair, their cheeks angrily pink and their eyes blazing with defiance, stood together at the corner of Adelaide and Maple Street. This is where they would part, if Teddy didn't always walk her home. But today, it seemed as though Lorelei would be walking alone, with the rate they were going at.

"If you want to camp out or something at my place--you're welcome, you know," she muttered. 

"I can take care of myself," he replied. 

"You can not, Teddy." She glared at him disbelieving and hurt. "You are still such a little kid, and you know it."

"Stop it, Lorelei," he pleaded. "Stop trying to fix me, because you can't. Don't get tangled up in this whole mess. This is my life to deal with; not yours. Stay out of it."

"But if you'd just talk to me--"

"I said stay out of it," he barked. "If I wanted to fill you in on my innermost feelings, I'd let you know. But that's not what you're here for, now is it?"

A look of confusion touched her eyes. "Oh. What am I here for, then?"

"You're my girlfriend. Not my shrink. I don't need you for this, okay?"

"Really," she muttered. "I'd inquire as to what you do need me for, but I'm supposed to be staying out of your life." She shook her head, and then turned to walk away. 

"Lorelei--" he sighed, taking long steps to fall into stride with her. "Let me walk you home."

"Oh, I don't think I need you for this," she said sarcastically.

"Fuck, Lore, stop making such a big deal out of this!" He stopped following her and just stared at her retreating back. 

"Okay. How's this?" She never once looked back at him, but she may have quickened her pace slightly. 

"I should go home now…" 

"Yeah, I should go inside…

"Okay…"

"Bye…"

Totally ignoring any thoughts of parting, Cassie and Vern stood on her porch, making out for several additional minutes. They were doing their bests to get their arms around each other fully, but it was a difficult task to accomplish because of their bulky winter jackets. 

"Cassandra, what are you _doing_ out--"

Vern flew back away from Cassie, stumbling on the porch steps and sticking his hands in the air, palms open, upon seeing Mr. Grey suddenly appear in the doorway. 

"I didn't touch a hair on her head!" he exclaimed. "Please don't say you have a shotgun!"

Mr. Grey's jaw dropped. 

"I can't run very fast!"

Cassie covered her face with her hand. 

"I have to go home now and study!" Vern took off running down the street, slipping on a patch of ice but not falling. 

Cassie looked at her father fearfully. "Hi?"

Mr. Grey stared at his daughter, resentful affection for her in his small smile. "It takes you seventeen years to discover the opposite sex, and then when you do, that's the one you pick?"

"Meh. He picked me, actually."

"Well, _naturally_, but--"

"But nothing, Daddy, he's so amazing you wouldn't believe it." She hugged him. "But don't _worry_," she giggled. "You're still the number one man in my life. I didn't mean that in a child-molester type of way, either."

"Oh, Lord. What has this boy been teaching you?"

She laughed, realizing how weirdly happy and giddy she was as she soared on the best feeling in the world. 

"I feel weird," Brooke murmured, still able to distantly feel the pressure of Gordie's lips on hers. 

"Good. That means I'm doing something right," he muttered back. 

"I don't mean in an _orgasmic_ way, you fuck ass," she laughed, sinking deeper into his arms as they sat on her bed. "Cat just walked in the room, you see, and, well…it's weird that she just sits there and watches us make out."

"Brookeson," he sighed, abusing the maddening nickname for her he'd recently made up on his own. "It's a cat. A non-sentient creature. What do you think she's doing, taking notes?"

"It's still weird."

"You're weird. Shut up." Smiling, he leaned back in to kiss her again. Judging by her receptiveness, she didn't seem to object. 

Brooke broke away just long enough to inform him, "I'm falling off the bed."

"Sorry." He made more room for her, and as Brooke readjusted herself, he studied Cat, his eyebrows deepening. She was definitely watching them. She was watching them quite intently, in fact. When Brooke kissed him again, he drew back from her. "You're right. It's unnerving. What if we emotionally scar Cat for life?"

Brooke leaned back on her elbows, laughing. "What do you propose we do?"

"Well, you know how I'm always proposing sex?"

"Don't cause me to beat you with a pillow again. You didn't like it last time."

"That's because you made my _lip_ bleed."

"Then stop proposing sex."

"Never." He watched in horror as Cat slowly slunk her way under the bed. "We are _leaving_. That's just _weird._"

Somehow, Ginny suckered Reese into letting her drive his car. Every bump they went over made him hold his breath and clutch his seat. 

"Ginny…?"

"Yeah?" she asked eagerly with an evil, adrenaline-filled grin on her face. 

He tried to calm his breathing. "You're only supposed to use one foot…"

"For what?"

"The pedals. Just use your right foot. You're kinda making me nervous with both of your feet hovering over the pedals."

"Sure, but when I have _both_ feet ready, this way if I see a child or elderly person, I can _really_ accelerate."

"Yes. Please don't break my car."

She reached over, taking her eyes off the road, and messed up his hair. "It's surprising. That you don't have a girlfriend, I mean."

"I had a girlfriend," he muttered with a shrug. "For four years. Look at the road, Ginny."

"Why'd you break up?" Ginny grinned. She never really _smiled_--she just had this feverish grin that made her features less toughened and worldlier yet innocent. "Tell me about your love life."

"Trying to set me ablaze hardly qualifies for knowing me well enough to request a heart to heart."

"True, but I could total your car."

Sighing, Reese shrugged. "You know who Anya Berkowitz is?"

"Happy cheerleader type?"

"Yeah. She's great."

"Sure. You went out with her?" She snorted. "Doesn't surprise me. You two would make the perfect homecoming king and queen."

"Yeah, we were together since grade eight." He attempted to change the station on the radio, but she deftly slapped his hand away. Giving up, he continued, "But then this year, she dumped me for Chris Chambers."

__

"Really." She kept taking frequent looks at him, interested. "Wow. You gotta give her credit--at least she's not as closed-minded as the rest of the stupid fucks in our school. Most people take one look at that kid and figure he's some low-life, but he's actually freaky-smart. Plus he's one tough little mother." 

"Yeah, I know," Reese lied. What was with Chris and him having a positive impact on the female folk at Castle Rock High? Or at least the girls that _he_ liked, anyway. "Wait--are you calling me closed-minded?"

"No, why?"

"Chris Chambers _is_ a low-life."

"Oh, _fuck_, Aarons, don't give me that. That guy's got a spine. He's got balls. He's a lot more man than anyone at our damn school, and he doesn't have to prove it by telling everyone how big his dick is or bragging about how many chicks he can nail per night. Just because some bubble-head lost interest in you and started liking him doesn't mean you can submit yourself to popular belief." After delivering her speech, she ran a hand through her hair and looked at him again. "Then what happened after your teeny-bopper dumped you?"

"Well, I tried to go after her best friend," he said, his voice resentful, but his face sporting a sly smirk. 

"Oh, I love _you_," she laughed. 

"That didn't work, because fuckin' _everybody_ was telling her that I was _using_ her. Then she discovers she's got the hots for Chris Chambers' future cell-mate, Teddy Duchamp, and everyone forgets about Reese."

"Teddy Duchamp?" She asked. "I know him. Actually, I was making out with him when your little girlfriend discovered her hots for him. It pissed me off. But I like her. I never did catch her name."

"Lorelei."

"No. I'm _Ginny_."

He burst out laughing. "Her name was Lorelei."

"Ohh. That's a weird name. Hey, your name is _Reese._ That's weird too."

"Yes, Virginia."

"Don't call me Virginia. I'll murder your dog."

"I don't have a dog. My sister kinda has a cat. It suddenly appeared when she and Lachance started being buddy-buddy. I think it's their love child."

"Well I'll kill that."

"They'll kill you."

"I'll kill your _car_."

"NO!" He gripped his seat tighter. "That better just be my imagination and my car is not speeding up!"

"Oh, it's the car, not your imagination," she cackled. "You're going to get a speeding ticket."

"Like hell I am! Stop driving!"

"Weeeeeee!"

"Ginny!" he yelled. "You just passed a donut shop! Now there is a FUCKING cop trailing us!"

"What?"

"Donuts--! Equals cops--!" He tried to reach for the wheel, and shouted, "--Equals I hate you!"

She pulled over safely to the side of the road. "Don't worry. I have experience with cops."

"I'm sure you do, you stupid felon."

She rolled the window down calmly. "Hi!"

"Ginny, what are you doing _driving_?" the officer demanded before he even got to the car. "Your mother told me that the last time you were allowed to drive, you chased first-graders for three blocks."

"Oh, memories," she sighed wistfully. 

"Who's car is this?"

"His," Ginny said, jerking a thumb at Reese.

The officer leaned against the car to get a look at Reese. "This your car?"

"Yes, sir."

"Is this your boyfriend, Ginny?"

"YES."

"You know the rule about dating in my house! No dating until you're--"

"I'm not _in_ your house, I'm in his _car!"_

"Um, excuse me, but could you charge her on the grounds of a double kidnapping?" Reese asked meekly.

"I kidnapped nothing. You offered to drive me home," she said. 

"Yes. But then you kidnapped me. And my car."

"Oh, we had FUN," she laughed. 

"Come on, Ginny, I'm taking you home now," the officer said gruffly. 

"I must go now." She stepped on the gas pedal. 

As they sped away, skidding slightly on ice before she regained control, Reese stared at her in awe. When she said nothing, he yelled, "Are you fucking out of your MIND?"

"Oh, that was my dad. The worst he can do is take off my door."

"Your door?"

"Yeah. When he's mad, he takes off my door. It's weird. One time, when my folks were still together, I accidentally walked in on their anniversary sex and my dad just fucking_ chased_ me downstairs--once he put some underwear on, that is--and then he removed my door. He's kept up the tradition ever since."

"I don't get it."

"Neither do I."

"Hey, wait a second. Who said I had to be your boyfriend?" he demanded.

"Wanna be?"

"Can I drive now?"

"No."

"Can I have my car back sometime?"

"Sometime."

"Then of course I want to be."


	32. Retards

"I am soooo sick of this brat," Dixon announced the next day at lunch. "Take her. God, take her."

Chris was shooting peas at Gordie through a straw, making Gordie giggle and Brooke irritable. Politely, he set his straw down and looked at Dixon with expectance. "Hey. What?"

Dixon and Molly sat down together, with Molly taking a seat next to Chris. Pulling two sandwiches out of his brown paper bag, Dixon grumbled, "She's pissing me off my gourd."

"That's a weird phrase," Brooke commented. 

__

"Molly?" Chris demanded, laughing, and resting his elbow on her shoulder. "But she's so _cute_."

"Bah," Dixon snorted. "Are those brownies I see?"

"Back off, Hennessy," Gordie snapped. "These are special brownies that I do not share with anyone, and certainly not with the likes of you. You can have my sandwich though."

Shrugging, Dixon said, "Works for me."

"I'm really not annoying," Molly insisted feebly. 

Her brother laughed. It was cruel, mocking laughter. "She ran up to me as I was about to build up the nerve to sit with Mary Miller, and she was like 'Dixon! Dixon! Take me to Chris! I'm too shy! I need you!'"

Molly blushed, and tried to deny that but just stammered instead. 

"Heh, heh," Gordie chuckled. "Aren't you in like grade two?"

"No," Molly said adamantly. "I'm in grade _ten_."

"Ooh," he said happily. "Chris, you pedophile!"

Anya, who had been quiet since the two siblings had arrived at the table, appeared somewhat rejected. She looked at Chris with silent questions in her eyes. 

Chris caught the look and was unable to smile at her. Was he hurting her?

"Guys, this is Molly," he said, not looking Anya in the eye. "We officially met yesterday." 

"Oh, are you Dixon's sister?" Brooke asked. 

"No. He's _my_ brother."

Brooke looked at Chris. "She's a weird one."

"Yes," Gordie agreed. "We'll keep her."

Anya looked relieved when she saw Lorelei enter the cafeteria, followed by Teddy. She rarely saw her best friend anymore, and she wanted her company right now, what with Chris and this new girl Molly exchanging all these secretively shy looks. 

Then Lorelei veered off, and she and Teddy sat down at a table by themselves. 

Dixon watched as Anya's shoulders slumped, but said nothing to her. 

"I don't want us to be mad anymore," Teddy murmured, wordlessly exchanging his pudding--his vanilla for Lorelei's chocolate--as they did everyday. 

"Neither do I," she said, sitting with her back rigid and her face set emotionlessly. 

"I love how you don't take shit from anyone," he told her. "But I also hate it, because that means you won't take shit from _me_, and I know how much I always fuck up…" He took off his thick glasses, rubbed them with the hem of his shirt and then replaced them. His eyes were full of defeat, regret, and painful lifelessness. "I was lying in bed last night, and I just missed you so bad. I wanted you to be there so I could just say goodnight to you, so that you'd be there when I woke up, so that I wouldn't have to be alone in that house. I realized that you're the one thing in my life that's worth anything. And you would think when someone like _me_ gets someone like_ you; _I wouldn't just let you walk away like I did yesterday."

Lorelei continued to look down at the table, but then, when she looked up, her grey eyes were vulnerable and forgiving. "I'm sorry about yesterday, I didn't mean to pry, I just--"

Teddy shook his head. "Don't."

"I really do love you, Teddy. I don't think you always believe me when I say that, but it's true."

He smirked. "I believe it when it comes from you."

"I need a new spoon," Molly decided. "Mine doesn't seem to be clean."

Dixon looked at her appraisingly. "Thank you for the update."

"Anytime!" she said cheerfully, standing up. "I'll be right back. Please don't move to another table to try and ditch me."

Chris laughed. "We'd do no such thing."

"No?" Dixon frowned. "Dammit."

After Gordie watched Chris watch Molly walk away, with her light brown hair pulled back into a carefree ponytail swishing with each step, he cracked his knuckles and pushed his tray away from him. "Well." He placed his hand over Brooke's with a large grin. "There's still some time before the bell. We'll be disappearing now. Enjoy the rest of your lunch period."

"Gordo, there's like seven minutes left," Chris informed him. 

His eyes stared at him innocently. "Meaning what? Seven minutes isn't long enough to do it?"

Brooke rolled her eyes. 

Gordie poked her. "Don't roll your eyes at our sex life!"

"We don't _have_ a sex life, Gordie."

"That can change."

She laughed and followed him out of the cafeteria. 

"MRAG!" 

Chris and Anya turned to stare at Dixon, who had had an outburst. 

"You okay, buddy?" Chris asked cautiously. 

Dixon began to pant. 

Anya seemed to be troubled. She squinted her eyes at him. "Maybe we shouldn't watch. I think he might be orgasming…"

"Close enough," Dixon said. "I see Mary. She's sitting alone. Reading a book. Eating Jell-O. I must go skronk her now."

This time, Chris watched Anya as she watched Dixon walk away. 

When she turned back around in her seat, they looked at each other silently. There was a dull, uncomfortable silence between the two of them. Chris cleared his throat. "So, what do you think of Molly?"

Sighing, Anya rested her chin on her hand as she chewed on a carrot, trying to look indifferent. "I don't know."

"You must think _something_."

"Okay. Wanna know what I think? I think that what I think doesn't matter to you. That's what I think."

He raised his eyebrows at her in surprise. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"I fell in love with you, Chris, but I asked you to wait for me. Then you decided that you wanted to be friends, not taking into consideration how much I'd fallen for you. Then you ask me what I _think_ of your new _crush?"_

"Jesus Murphy," he sighed. "Anya, I'm sorry."

"She's cute."

"Huh?"

"You asked me what I thought of her."

"You think she's cute?"

"Don't you?" She smiled wryly. "I think if you like this kid, you should ask her out. She obviously has it bad for you already."

"But Anya, I had no idea I was making you feel this--"

"You can't begin to understand how happy I am when you're happy. So just be happy, you retard."

Chris smiled tenderly at her, leaned across the table and kissed her forehead. "I kinda love you. Double retard."

She laughed. "Yeah. You're kinda neat too. I can't think of another insult."

"Retard's good."

"Yeah. RETARD."


	33. Gordie's Grasshopper

****

[Author's Note: Yep, it's been awhile since I wrote in this thingy, but not until this morning did I know what the hell to do with it. I had Where-Did-I-Go-Right-block. So, thank you to Veronica for helping me work stuff out! And Britt, I know you've been all busy-full lately, so I thought I'd just go ahead and post this and not bother you. Love ya both!!]

Chris Chambers, kid brother to Eyeball Chambers, was standing at the door of the future valedictorian's cozy homespun house. He rapped on the door and waited. When no one answered, he leaned his forehead against the wood and muttered, "I just saw you go _in…_horny son of a bitch…just answer the fricken door, you oversexed--" He stumbled forward as the door swung open. "HI."

Brooke smiled. She rested her weight on her left side, and as she stood that way Chris could see all too well what his best friend saw in this girl. "Hi. I presume I'm not the one you want to see."

"Of course you're the one I want to see. But I want to _talk_ to Gordie."

She laughed. It was weird, seeing Brooke Aarons laugh with such ease, like she didn't have a trace of that chip she used to have on her shoulder. She was happy, and it lit her up. "Come on in, he's up in my room."

"Ahh, right where you left him, chained to the bed, I suppose."

"Yes. I'm going to go make some hot chocolate, would you like some?"

"Are you going to pour the chocolate all over Gordie's naked body? Oh my God, why did I just have that thought?" Chris shuddered. "No thank you, Brooke. Oh my God. Where's your room?"

"Upstairs. It's the room with Gordie in it." She left him and disappeared into the kitchen. 

Chris kicked off his snow-soaked shoes and climbed up the stairs, the plush carpet a strange feeling to his socked feet. He was used to ratty carpet marred with unknown stains. Instead of smelling like cigarette smoke and hangovers, the Aarons' house smelled like chicken broth. It was nice. 

Finally, he located the room. He pushed open the half-closed door loudly; scaring the shit out of Gordie and making him fly up in the air like a terrified farmyard bird such as a chicken, or an emu. "Where's all the ropes and whips?"

"CHRIS!" Gordie yelled angrily. "What in God's _name_ are you doing in Brooke's bedroom? Mother Christ! GOD, my fucking HEART!"

"That'll teach you to rifle through your girlfriend's underwear drawer when she steps out of the room for a moment," Chris said smugly. 

"I wasn't _rifling_," he snapped. 

"I hope you weren't _modeling_."

"I hate your fucking guts."

"Ah, you only say that because I caught you being evil."

"Yeah. What the fuck do you want?"

"Your advice."

"I am pretty wise, aren't I?"

"Yeah. So I'll just let you slip into something a little more comfortable…"

"If you are referring to Brooke's panties, which I was _not_ examining (_that_ closely), you may screw yourself."

Chris laughed. "Gordie, Gordie, Gordie. You certainly are funny when you're guilty."

Gordie frowned, but a smile slipped through when he met his best friend in the eye. He made himself comfortable on Brooke's bed, stretching his legs out in front of him and crossing his feet at the ankles. "All right, what do you need guidance in, young grasshopper?"

"Chicks."

"I got a hot one!"

Chris gave him a funny look. 

Gordie's proud, loving smile faded, and he returned the funny look to Chris. "…You can't have her."

"I wasn't asking for her."

"Well then, ask away!"

"So, Molly's adorable, right."

"Yeah. Ya pedophile. I mean…she's a lucky girl!"

"We've already gone through the pedophilia bit," Chris said impatiently. "Anyway, I like Molly. I can see myself like taking her to movies and holding her hand and--"

"Shut up. I don't want to hear your goo."

"What the hell are you talking about my goo for? Gordie, that's wrroooong."

"I meant your corniness, asshole!"

"Oh. You shut up too then, I'm spilling my heart here." He cleared his throat, composing himself. "Back to my story. Molly is sweet. But Anya, pissed me off today. She was trying to be all supportive of Molly and me, but she obviously was sad about seeing me with someone else."

"So…"

"So I don't know what the fuck to do!"

"Okay." Gordie cracked his knuckles, and rearranged himself so that he was sitting in the lotus position. "So, you can see yourself with Molly, correct?"

"Yes."

"You can see her as your girlfriend?"

"Yes."

"And you love Anya."

Chris faltered. It wasn't as though he had to debate whether or not he loved her; it made him sad to think of the fact that they did in fact love each other, purely and honestly. "Yes."

"Well, there you go."

"There I go where?" Chris demanded. "There was no advice!"

"I've addressed your problem. You fix it."

"You lick balls!"

Gordie burst into laughter. "Sorry, Chris."

Chris glared. 

"Hey, I can't tell you what to do on this. Just…you know. There you go. Go do it right. I think you know what it is you need to do."

"Are you doing psycho-babble?" he asked suspiciously. "You _know_ the right answer, _don't_ you? And you're not telling me because you're a dick face."

"No, I have no idea which one you should be with. But _you_ do."

"How profound," he muttered. 

"Thanks. I made it up on the spot." He grinned, effortlessly receiving a smile in return from Chris. "I can hear Brooke. Don't mention panties."

Brooke breezed into the room, holding two mugs of hot chocolate. As she handed one steaming cup to Gordie, she raised an eyebrow and asked, "What's this about panties?"

"Nothing."

"Goddammit Gordie, do I need to put a lock on all my drawers?"

"Just neuter him," Chris suggested. Gordie looked down at himself, his expression wounded. Laughing, Chris said, "But I should get going. I have matters to attend to."

"He means he needs to go about _not_ getting any," Gordie said cheerfully.

"Much like you!" Brooke chirped, poking her boyfriend on the nose. "No _wonder _you two are such good friends!"

"What do you mean by that?" Gordie demanded. "Was that a crack at my sexual orientation? We're not gay. That wasn't funny."


	34. In His Image

"Wanna see my stomach jiggle?" Alexander pulled up the front of his shirt before Lorelei could stop him, and began to perform a belly dance. "Woooh!"

Teddy looked at Lorelei for guidance. "I feel like I should be sticking dollar bills down his pants."

Lorelei shook her head pleadingly. "This is gross enough as it is."

"Gross?" Alexander demanded. "You gross at my sexy moves--" Lorelei pushed him, causing him to spill his grape juice (which he somehow managed to spill-lessly hold while belly dancing) all over the front of Teddy's white T-shirt. "Look what you did."

"Ahhhh, I'm sorry!" she cried. "Ooh, stickiful. Come on, I'll find you a shirt of mine to change into. Although the purple look does good things for you. We'll have to find something in a similar hue for you to wear."

"Much like the pink shirt you made me wear last week after you squirted mustard at me?"

"Yes, but better."

With his hand in Lorelei's, Teddy let himself be guided to her room. He loved being in her bedroom. Besides the obvious reasons (ah, teenage-boy-dom), he just loved how safe he felt in her room. Not to mention it smelled good. 

Flipping through her closet, Lorelei sang, "One-eyed-one-horned, flying purple--"

"I'm not going home dressed in purple," Teddy told her firmly. 

"Oh," she muttered. "Sigh, kaput goes my fun."

She tossed him a flannel work shirt, belonging originally to her father. "You may change now."

"Thanks." He balled the shirt up, waiting for her to leave so he could dress. But she just laid down on her bed and flipped through a magazine. "Um, privacy?"

"Huh?" She stared blankly. 

"Can you leave for a minute?"

"Why, do you got something under there you're hiding?"

"No, I just--would you like me watching you get dressed?"

"I'm not WATCHING. I'm READING." She sighed. "Fine, I'll turn away. Better?"

Teddy watched as she impatiently rolled over onto her side, her back facing him. He quickly peeled off his stained shirt and had just slipped on the clean one when Lorelei spun around. He didn't--he couldn't stop her. She began to say something, stopped, and just stared. 

"I fell on a patch of ice. Did I say you could turn around, Lore?"

She shook her head. "I saw in the mirror…I didn't mean to, I just looked up for a second. God, you can get all _that_ from falling on ice?"

"That's what I said, wasn't it?"

"How many fucking times have you fallen?" she demanded. "Look at all the fading bruises, Teddy."

"So I don't always watch where I'm going." Teddy bristled, wanting so bad to run away from her; to run straight to her. 

Lorelei crossed the room to him. He took a step away, but was backed up against her dresser. "Someone beat you up." She reached out a hand.

The voice that came from his mouth was foreign to both of them. It was low, grating, domineering. "Don't touch me."

"Oh God. Was it your dad?" she murmured. Gentle fingertips brushed his battered ribs.

__

I swear to god if you touch me one more time I'm leaving I don't care get your hands off me

The next thing Teddy knew, Lorelei was standing two feet away from him. His palm throbbed. 

__

Oh God.

Lorelei lifted her head and stared at him. It was the scariest sight he'd ever seen. 

"Wh..What--?"

The broken-wing look of disbelief, fear and ultimate disappointment was clear on her face. "You hit me."

"No," he whispered. 

"Teddy," she whimpered. 

"I can't--I don't understand--"

"You hit me," she repeated, more to herself than anything. 

"Oh, Jesus, no…"

"Why did I _take_ it?"

He stared at her. Her cheek was red. He was his father. Lies of honour and bravery and watching fear fall as tears from black eyes waited for him. This was the start of his life. His beginning was hitting the girl he loved more than he loved himself. 

"Leave me," he said. 

"What?" Her voice was tiny and disconcerted, like there were a million things going on her head and she just remembered he was still standing there.

"Tell me to get the hell out of your house."

"Teddy, I don't understand!" she cried. 

"This is who I am, okay? This is all I can be!"

"That's not true," she snapped. 

"Lorelei, I am so sorry. Christ, I am sorry. I love you. Do better than me. Just please."

"Teddy, you are not going to be like your father."

"I already am!" he yelled, taking off his glasses and wiping his eyes. Whenever his father yelled, his mother flinched as though she'd already been struck. Lorelei didn't even move. 

"You're _sorry_, I know you are!"

"Right. Like him. He hits us. He says he's sorry. He hits us. He says he's sorry."

Crying, Lorelei ignored her fight of flight instincts and went to him, wrapping herself up on his arms. "The only thing I trust is your touch. For me, there is nothing better. You are better."

"Why are you giving me a chance?"

"If I don't, who will."

"Lorelei," he said, crying freely. "You can't save me. Not from him, or myself."

Lorelei closed her eyes, unable to ignore the relentless sting the side of her face throbbed with. It couldn't happen again or she would have to walk away from him, and she didn't know if she could do that without falling. He was right. Because without hope, there was nothing to save. 


	35. When You Get Out of Here

****

[Author's Note: ...I'm aware that I haven't updated this since January. But I'm updating now, because it bugged me that this was lying unfinished, so I stayed up till 3:30 AM to finish it. I hope people will still read it :)]

High school sweet hearts said goodbye, proud parents couldn't stop taking pictures, kids smiled bittersweetly through nervous tears saved for this crossroad. It was June 13, 1965, and the students at Castle Rock High School were waiting for the graduation ceremonies.

In the school parking lot, Chris and Gordie had pissed Brooke off enough by playing peekaboo with their gowns that she left them to their own devices so she could go mingle with the intelligent people.

"God, I thought she'd _never_ leave," Chris teased and then noticed Gordie was still hiding his head in his gown, looking like the Headless Horseman. "Peekaboo, Gordie, dammit."

Gordie's head popped out, his face bearing a great smile. "I'm giddy! I'm graduating! I have a beautiful girlfriend and I look hot!"

"Yeah, you're real sexy in that dress," Chris laughed.

Gordie frowned, gazing down at the unflattering grad gowns that only Brooke looked good in. "We look like priests," he said.

Perching his cap on his head and tilting it at an angle to make himself look like a seductive detective, Chris said passionately, "This is like paying for a buck-toothed prostitute with a wooden leg and then not even having her complete her task. I really believe we should be allowed to keep these gowns. I mean, we had to spend good money on ugliness."

"And when are you planning on wearing a graduation gown again, Chris?" Gordie asked, ignoring the prostitute simile.

"I'm a sentimental fool, Gordo." He looked off, comically dreamy, and then suddenly brightened. "Hey! Tonight could be a special night for you and Brooke. Got birth control?" He leered.

"Shut up. I don't want Brooke for her body."

"Why?" he asked, managing to sound completely innocent and vulgar at the same time. "Is she planning on getting a breast reduction in the next six hours?"

"Sometimes you absolutely amaze me with your ability to both surprise and revolt me like I have never been surprised and/or revolted before."

"I am quite good at that, I'll admit."

Gordie's indignant frown turned into thoughtful consideration. "You think her boobs are the only reason I like her?"

"Definitely. They're very compelling."

"You need a girlfriend, Chris."

"You know while I'm still in Castle Rock, I'm always going to be fixated on one girl and her alone." Chris sighed. "I know that this is the night I've been working for ever since I was told that I'd never make it...but, you know, I still can't quite get rid of the regret of not working towards her too."

Gordie's eyes softened, looking his friend over with that old familiar tenderness that only Chris and Chris' sadness could evoke. He put a hand on Chris' sturdy shoulder, just like when they were twelve and he wanted to make sure that he was really being listened to. "Chris, you...When you get out of here, it's going to be really tough. You're my best friend, and I'm going to miss you, and...it kills me how proud I am of you. I lost Denny, but I always had a brother all these years because you never stopped standing by me. I know how this must sound to you, but keep in mind that I do have a girlfriend and I am not coming on to you. Anyway..." Gordie cleared his throat. "When you get out of here, the world's going to accept you for how smart and kind and great you are. And when you're out there finding yourself...I hope you'll be as blown away as I am with what you find."

Chris' eyes...filled with tears? He smiled painfully, clasping a hand around Gordie's shoulder with a gentle shake. "Gordie. I don't even think you can be put to words. Thank you. You're...you're my best friend, and I really do love...cheese."

Gordie grinned, nodding. "Yeah, I love cheese too." His smile lingered as he gazed at the ground, but when he looked back up at Chris, he was completely serious. "You know, you never had to work for her, Chris. And you still don't."

-------------------------

"I look like a banshee," Lorelei announced, glaring at her flowing gown.

Smiling, Anya put her arms around her best friend from behind, squeezing her in a sudden burst of affection. The two of them were getting ready for grad in her bedroom, slightly behind schedule--as they had to be at the school in twenty minutes--but not caring. "Lorelei, you look like...you're about to graduate high school."

"No I don't," she countered. "I look stupid. Stupid people don't graduate. It's against the Board of Education laws so that you don't get a bunch of retards flying airplanes and performing open heart surgeries or vasectomies." She tilted her burgundy hat, trying to see if any other angle would make her look a little less ridiculous. She frowned. "Actually, would it be so bad if a complete idiot were to perform a vasectomy? The object is to make sure stuff doesn't work anymore. Any idiot can break a penis."

Anya laughed. "Only you, Lorelei." She looked at Lorelei's profile, taking in the crescent of her eyelashes as they created a poetic shadow against her cheek, feeling like she'd never get to appreciate how unappreciatedly pretty her friend was. Finally, she cleared her throat and changed the subject. "Well, I think the Board of Education is loosening its reigns on the imprisonment of stupid people in high schools, because your ex-boyfriend is receiving a diploma today," Anya said coldly.

"Look," Lorelei sighed. "He's not stupid, he's not crazy, he's not anything bad. You only think low of him because of what happened."

"Sorry," she murmured.

Teddy and Lorelei hadn't been together since that day, when he hit her, she forgave him, and he damned the relationship. Later, when Lorelei tried to convince him that they should be together, he had said that every time he touched her, it hurt him, because he loved her too much to think of the very real possibility that he would ever cause her harm again. She had taken it badly, hating the world for allowing pain to be so relentless and ever present. She hated Teddy for awhile too. He'd made her love him to tears and then he took it away, just like that. Because of a man so ugly on the inside that his mere existence darkened the eyes of innocents.

So, Lorelei fell against Anya, both of them deciding they didn't need guys anyway. They just never told each other about the crying they did separately when they tried to sleep sometimes.

"You know, I bet if you were to dunk me in a big bag of flour, I could really scare a lot of people," Lorelei said brightly.

"Probably," Anya laughed, squinting at her. "But what the hell are you talking about?"

"This stupid grad gown!" she exclaimed, grabbing a handful of the itchy fabric. "I look like I should be floating up and down a haunted staircase, moaning 'Ebeneezer Scroooooooooge...'"

"You look fine, moron."

"That's what _all_ pretty people tell their zombie-lookalike friends. Minus the 'moron' bit; that was uncalled for."

Anya rested her chin on Lorelei's shoulder, studying their reflection in her full-length mirror. Not much had really changed. Neither had grown and neither of them looked wizened. They both looked like the same girls who ate ice cream together and played with dolls and had grown into the girls that could talk forever about nothing on the phone and still make each other laugh. Anya's hold on Lorelei looked like the natural embrace of two best friends who had been together for so long that they couldn't even pinpoint the moment that they befriended each other.

Lorelei really did look lovely, with the burgundy of the gown bringing out the astute regality in her expressive grey eyes and the sudden look of readiness that made her seem somehow taller. Tears welled up in Anya's eyes as sunlight streamed through her dormer window, highlighting the beauty and friendship in both of them.

"You're golden, Lorelei," she whispered, crying now.

Startled, Lorelei turned around. "What? Shh," she said softly as Anya's arms went around her neck. "Why are you crying, Anya?"

"Oh, I don't know," she said miserably. "I just feel like it's all gone too fast, and I didn't get to stop and be like 'Wow, I really have it all.' Because now all I had is going to be gone, with you going to New York in September and with, and with...Chris..."

"Ohh..." Lorelei stroked Anya's hair. "Anya, we're not leaving you. No one can leave you behind without the assumption that we'll be coming home to you. It's okay, Anya. All right? All right?"

Anya burrowed into the embrace, nodding, while Lorelei murmured to her in the same way that she had soothed her when they were much, much younger. Before the broken hearts and before they learned what it was like to love a boy who'd never been loved before. Back when wounds healed and bruises faded and tears went away.


	36. Keepsake

**[AN: I made a whole swack of mistakes in this chapter. This is the edited version, it should be better :)]**

The grad ceremonies couldn't end fast enough. Now that she had been a high school graduate for a grand total of approximately forty-five minutes, Lorelei discovered that her bladder had not matured at all and the only thing she could think of as she hugged and congratulated and thanked classmates and faculty was how badly she had to pee.

Eventually, she couldn't take it anymore, and she told Anya she'd be right back.

Crossing the school field, she tried not to look like someone rushing to the bathroom. The speed of which was practically running at caused her cap to fly off her head. With a surpressed shriek of panic, she ran back to retrieve it. Turning back, she saw Teddy standing there, holding his own cap and studying her, looking surprised to see her, but he must have been trying to catch up to her.

"Hi," she blurted, snatching the cap off the ground. "Congrats, I'll see you later--"

"Lorelei," he said, taking a few steps forward. "I am so sorry that I spent all my time saying I'm sorry instead of I love you because now I have to say goodbye, and I just wanted to..."

Lorelei stepped towards him tentatively. "Teddy?"

It looked as though he was mustering courage as he glanced down at his hands, and evidently he found some. "I wanted to also say thank you."

"For what?" she asked softly, not being able to stop herself from going to him, as it had always been in the past.

"For being you." He looked at her, glasses somewhat askew but brown eyes only seeing her. "For laughing, for smiling, for crying, for not leaving me...For letting me love you." He shook his head, shrugging helplessly. She suddenly saw what he must have looked like, because the betrayed innocence in his eyes was fresh and desperate. "I really needed someone to love, Lorelei, I really did.."

Lorelei couldn't speak. She hugged him, and it would have been too tightly if she hadn't been so damn in love with him. The hug lasted a long time as they both cried without tears, standing in the middle of the field, people milling close to them but not coming anywhere near their private little world. Teddy buried his face into her hair, the smell of green tea and pressed flowers so real that it made him emotional even though he knew it was just her shampoo.

"Why are you bouncing?" he whispered.

She pulled away. "Wow, you and my bladder both really know how to ruin a moment." Leaning over, she kissed his cheek. "Bye, Teddy, love you. I gotta go."

"You really do, don't you?" He grinned.

"You better believe it--I have to pee like a racehorse," she said in all seriousness, causing him to laugh.

"No, I meant--you really do love me."

She tilted her head, smiling as though she had a broken heart. "What part of 'I love you' have you never understood?"

He shrugged. "The part where you love me, I guess."

"Well..." She couldn't find any words. "Here," she said tersely, tossing him a book of matches.

Teddy watched her walk away with her gown dragging in the dirt. Then she stopped and smiled back at him over her shoulder.

He tried so hard to keep that moment from passing. He tried to capture the wind that brushed her hair across her cheek; the sunshine in her stormy eyes; the sweetness in her smile.

Later, in his future of darkness, he found that he could always remember the way Lorelei had looked in that frozen frame of time. It was a keepsake that he locked away for whenever he needed a light.


	37. Hey, Butterfly, Open Up Your Weary Eyes

Brooke pressed her cheek to Gordie's chest, listening to his heartbeat and sniffling.

"Brooke..."

"Be quiet," she snapped. "I am busy trying not to cry and I can't do it when I hear your voice!"

"Brooke, we're still going to see each other," he insisted. "We're not breaking up. There's phone calls and letters and--"

"And goodbyes," she interrupted. "What if--what if when we see each other again at Thanksgiving, it's totally awkward and there's no more feeling left!"

"Just because we're going to different colleges in the fall doesn't mean we're going to drift apart," he promised. "If anything, we'll be happier to see each other than ever. Absence makes the heart grow stronger, you know."

"I hate cliches," she grumbled. "That's why I love you."

He kissed her cheek, the top of her head, the bridge of her nose. "I love you too, Brooke. I love you no matter where I am."

She smiled and wiped her eyes.

"Besides. We have to keep Cat in mind," he reminded her. "We have to stay together for the cat."

"Guys!" Vern called, running up to Gordie and Brooke. Gordie couldn't think of a time when he'd seen Vern bursting with more excitement. "Guys, oh my God, she said yes!"

Cassie trailed behind, smiling shyly but without restraint.

"Said yes to what?" Gordie asked, looking back and forth between them.

Brooke's eyes widened as she squeezed Gordie's hand suddenly. "Oh my God, are you engaged?"

Cassie smiled while Vern bobbed his head up and down, his bright blue eyes bluer than ever with excitement and anticipation flashing in innocence.

While Gordie hugged Vern, Brooke squeaked and grinned at Cassie giddily. "Cassie! You of all people! Do you have a ring?"

"I have his school ring--Vern! Put the camera away!"

"Sorry! I couldn't resist!"

Cassie smiled with fond patience. "Anyway. He gave me his high school ring, because he can't afford an engagement ring yet. But he's going to stay back here in Castle Rock and work--"

"I got a job working a FORKLIFT!" Vern cried happily.

"Oh no, sandboxes of the world, beware," Gordie said.

"--While I'm away at university," Cassie finished.

"My fiancé's going to PRINCETON!" Vern declared.

Beaming, Cassie said, "So there's all the time in the world for work and school and rings and...Mwah, Brooke, thanks for pointing out that I'm not a complete heartless ball-buster."

Brooke smiled back, the couple's excitement somehow calming her. Maybe it was because it gave her a little hope, because they _did_ have all the time in the world.

Gordie looked over at her, wondering what she was thinking about as a breeze picked up and blew a tendril of hair across her face. He tucked the hair behind her ear, and they briefly smiled at each other. Then a flash of white light momentarily blinded them.

"Vern," Cassie scolded. "I told you to stop taking pictures."

"I can't help it!" he exclaimed. "Everything's just so...right."

----------------------

The photograph Vern took captured a boy risen from sadness and a girl transparently strong staring at one another with an intense affection. Gordie's fingers touched Brooke's with the softness he might use to stroke a butterfly's colours--scared to break her wings, but daring to take a chance and help her fly anyway.


	38. Cherish

Chris had had enough of congratulating Vern and Cassie and standing awkwardly beside Gordie, who just wanted to take off with Brooke. With an understanding smile, he informed Gordie that he was going to go take a walk.

He thought about Anya. He thought of the smiles that graced her lips when she thought he was looking away; of the way she leveled him with her eyes while she also raised him up higher than he'd ever thought he could deserve. He thought of how she had glanced at him twenty-three times while singing along to _Cherish_ on the radio in his truck. He thought about how it had felt to kiss her and how, when she held him, she was so small but she held him so strongly and she warmed him so much. It was like waking up on a sunny beach and not knowing he'd ever been sleeping, and then realizing, no, she wasn't a dream.

"Hey Chris," Anya said softly as he made his way around the football field. "You look good."

For a moment, he wondered if she _was_ a dream this time, but she saw that smile and knew that she was too good for even fantasy. "Hi, Anya. You do too. What are you doing sitting on the bleachers all alone?"

"Sitting on the bleachers all alone," she replied. "Do you want to sit with me?"

"Yeah," he said, maybe too earnestly, but he climbed up the steps of the bleachers, taking a seat next to her. "Why are you reading the Castle Rock Graduating Class of 1965 Grad Ceremony program? You were there."

"Because, I...am trying to read," she faltered. "Imagine that, me graduating when I can't read a word. Lucky son of a gun I am."

"Liar," he teased. "You just wanted to look like you were doing something so passersby wouldn't see how lonely you are."

"That too." She smiled wanly. "Lorelei disappeared awhile ago and so I'm like a lost sheep without Little Bo Peep--not that I'm comparing my best friend to an irresponsible nursery rhyme shepherdess--"

"There was no one that ever made me feel safe like you did," Chris interrupted, silencing her. "I never knew what that felt like until you taught me how to let someone look out for me. And it felt safe to fall in love with you, Anya, so I did, and I'm still on my knees for you."

She stared at him imploringly, too amazed to quite understand. "But what about Molly--?"

He shook his head. "I was talking to Gordie today, and I started to think a lot about me and him when we were kids. I used to lecture him all the time and...I thought maybe I should listen to my own words, so I'm going to kiss you now."

He caught her lips briefly, capturing months of emotions, drying old tears and setting everything right. He broke away, and he could still taste her. Like a vanilla milkshake.

Anya searched his face, her lips tingling and her eyes sparkling. "...Well...thanks...Wow. What exactly did you tell Gordie when you were kids that spurred _that?"_

"'It's like God gave me something,'" There wasn't a trace of sadness in his smile. The haunted look in his eyes was gone. He looked completely free and innocent and pure. Like the face of an angel. "And he said, 'This is what we got for you, kid, try not to lose it.'"

**[So...that's the end. Sorry about the wait. I hope you liked it, even if the ending was pretty sudden and rushed.]**


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